How to be the best stripper...ever (the word according to red)

Lately I've been asking myself how to get back to my original self. The self that made money hand over fist. I'm still attractive, I'm still smart. There is no reason why I should make money the last hour of work. Also I was asked to give advise on the subject considering my amazing abilities to retain regulars...although I am taking on new regulars if anyone is up for the challenge. I didn't advise them as I didn't have time and I didn't know what to say considering my most recent luck...

After binge watching a ton of netflix and hulu, and really going though everything in the past 10 years of my life ( it is getting to be that time of year where I start talking about the years passed). That there is a little bit of truth in the fiction of movies. I suppose what I'm about to say is probably going to concern some people. (Family I'm not talking to you or about you, or anyone who may think I'm referencing them personally I'm not this is more of a general statement)...YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THE LIE. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY THE BEST PERSON ON THE FLOOR AND THAT NO ONE ELSE EXISTS OR THAT THEY ARE THERE TO ASSIT YOU IN MAKING MONEY. That's it that's all it takes. Oh and a six minute limit. If you can't close in six minutes you aren't going to close it. Remember it's an option you are selling, not a demand, and you have to believe that they are not the only option as well. Oh and the lie never derive from the lie. I don't mean lie to everyone about everything. I mean more like method acting believe who you are while you are on the floor. I always take time to adjust from work me to me me, before interacting with anyone.

So here is to getting back into myself and truly believing that "don't can't call me bitch, bitch"is the truest I have been with myself. Right up there with knowing a little bit about everything and taking interest in everything as well. Also righting myself for thinking I've been wrong at all and shouldn't do this or don't deserve to do it well. So that's all it takes to be a great stripper, just believe in yourself, and some tall, tall shoes.

Radio interview...and a bunch of bullshit about things I'm considering talking about.

Yup another radio interview tomorrow for I think a small personally owned radio station they want to ask the usual questions. I'm sure the question about relationships is coming up which moves us into strippers and boyfriends. Mind you I know some girls with very healthy relationships, I'll be talking about them soon. HOWEVER I HAVE MAGICALLY CONVINCED GIRLS TO LET ME INTERVIEW THEM ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIPS GET READY INTERNET THIS NEW SEGMENT IS GOING TO BE GOOD.

We all complain about the same things (hence why I don't date)
Things our boyfriends hate collectively.
1) They hate our jobs, but love our money
2) Hate how much or when we work, but don't mind spending our money or getting gifts.
3) If we mention we want something say as a gift from say our boyfriend they tell us to ask a custy, but hate when we go in early.
3a) When they want a gift they ask us to ask our customers

PREVIEW.
1.One girl dates a dude who only wears rick owens and owns enough clothes he could own a house. I understand that I love rick owens and I love clothes...also he buys them. I've met him he's hilarious. They also have a pretty healthy view on dating.
2.Another girl just dates a shitty dude I'll be talking a whole lot about him.
3. Another dates a hippie with a radiology degree who doesn't use it.
4. One girl went on a date with a dude I went on a date with the one who camped on my lawn...man I hope I wrote about that.
5. I'll be dishing dirt on dudes I've dated, and the type of guy I actually like...and maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, I'll dish on dudes I've actually had crushes on...like real ones.

However don't worry I'll still be talking about stripper shit, because no one wants to read about rom-com crap.

Sorry I suppose I'm just a little excited that my writers block is over.

Body dysmorphia is a serious thing.

First before I get into the guts of tonight I would like to say. DAMN I LOVE RADISHES even without butter.

So tonight I got into it with someone on instagram. How childish right? That's what I thought but sometimes I'm a little indulgent because it's nice hiding behind a screen. What happend you ask?  Well you can view the whole thing on insta by looking up redflagrampage and seeing how horrible I am at insulting people, and typing, and spelling and all those other things I'm not good at, speaking of I need to be in bed with my eyes closed in 19 minutes so please excuse the mess I call a blog.

Anyway. I posted some silly photo of me in my underwear (surprise) and tagged it with something like #dontyouwishyourgirlfriendwashotlikeme and this young lady commented saying there is a difference between hot and FAT and trashy. Mind you I would assume trashy right off the bat as well because aren't all strippers highly uneducated and living in the ghetto? Oh wait no we don't most of us have normal lives, and clean homes, and decent modes of transportation.

I responded by saying that I agreed with her and I thought it was silly that people also considered tattoos and smoking pot trashy.
She replied with "I'm not sure if you're on drugs or illiterate or just really awful at sarcasm really. it's a tough call"
I'm not on drugs, nor am I illiterate. I actually take offense to the lack of literacy comment.

I did a very brief skim of her photos not paying much attention to her. She retorted with something something. I must not be very bright. Then it got ugly. I told her to see a therapist since she seemed to have issues with herself and other women, and I would be concerned about gateway drug usage, and when getting into a "real job" they tend to drug test, so I claimed she didn't have a job, or an education. Major bad on my part, rude and mean. She got back to me saying I'm unfortunate and need therapy ( I actually go to therapy I think everyone should) and then she called me filthy and unfortunate. She stated she's been living on her own for 3 years and she's getting her esthetician license in january. Then came the squabble of me being narcissistic and not deserving respect because I don't have close on and I shouldn't give "advise" (advice) because of this and if I were to wear clothes I may be relevant enough to be taken seriously.
I got back to her admitted to having narcissistic tendencies, and that she shouldn't take me seriously, it's my work thingy, it's marketing for the most part and a good way to keep up with others in the industry. Or follow people I couldn't follow with my everyday life thing. I said something about needing to go back to work, and mentioned her lack of punctuation (like I should be one to talk, I also mentioned that, and directed her to right here.)

She said she is to blind to get LASIK so she can't see what she types, and that there is not difference between reality and make believe when it's trashy photos. She then apologized for my lack of job prospects and that I must strip for income, also that she hates encountering photos like this when browsing Instagram (question, my hashtags are pretty specific for things that would produce images of this nature, why would you search them if you didn't want to see this, or the few people I follow are clearly industry) She then said she was tired after laughing at me at my expense. I was then informed that her LEXILE SCORE was that of an average scientist, so I should not have said anything about her grammer, she's right I shouldn't have mine is horrible. Then she looped a friend in. She finished up by calling me a mediocre body with no face because she's right I do chop it off for safety reasons. Saying I'm not ashamed to show all of it and then some.

After this I brought it up to the girls in the locker room. We started going though her pictures and it became very apparent that she may be suffering from anorexia. I instantly felt bad. Like horrible. Of course this girl is trying to rip me apart, she has issues with herself, and it feels better to make fun of someone else, when you are tearing yourself apart from the inside out.

I left her one last comment...Saying that I was sorry, and that had I looked sooner I never would have said those things, and that if she needs someone to talk to to email me. I said that I know how hard it can be to be a woman in this day in age. I brought up a story of an ex of mine always checking out other women with big boobs, and how it literally gave me a complex and for a long time I thought he didn't like me and that I wasn't attractive, which was not true at all. I told her that becoming a stripper was the best thing I could have done for my body image issues, it has made me realize that beauty is not just one way, it's so many ways, and not everyone likes one thing. I told her that even if she doesn't believe me, or doesn't like "me" (even though she has no idea who I am...at all) that there is someone who cares about her, wants the best for her and wants her to love herself more than anyone else because no one is going to go to bed with you more than you go to bed with you.

It made me really sad to think that there are girls that still pick on other girls because of their own discomfort in their own skin. I wish so badly that my job didn't have the stigma it does and that people could see the benefits. I feel like lately I've been too quiet about the good things and that I gave up on going hard for those involved in the sex industry. I used to fight for this so hard. This girl reminded me why I should fight for it, because it's no fighting for me and my type of people it's fighting for women and the freedom to be themselves, and the right to love themselves unconditionally.

Male Strippers...and some fucking douchbag...and all the good things people say.

Sometimes we find solace in those similar to us. Every night lately someone has reminded me of who I was over a year ago, that I'm great, and that I'm going to be just fine when this is all over.

Disclaimer I really would like to go to bed so please excuse all typing and grammer errors.

Lets start with the bad, everyone sucked tonight. So fucking rude. One fucktard specifically had me pretty unhappy. I approached him and his friends, his friend invited me to sit on the chair that this dumbass had his feet resting on. He was a little upset when I sat on it and started bitching about how I took his chair. I told him I owned all the chairs, because the amount of money I pay a month covers I think the clubs lease, so I think over a couple of years I have paid for everything in there. Anyway he invited me to sit on his lap to chat so I did (because that's how we roll up here) as I was trying not to eat shit in my huge as shoes he grabbed me to "help" me (worst idea ever) which I informed him made me less stable and more likely to fall. Okay finally seated. We start talking and he's like "oh you should come back to our party bus" I said I hope you have 100k to which he replies, I'm not asking you to strip I'm asking you to hang out and have a good time and I said yeah, so, it's still 100k. He said "I don't pay for things" to which I replied "How do you buy groceries?" he of course said with money and the same to movies, and other forms of entertainment. SO I asked then why would you not pay me for entertaining you? He said because I don't have to I mean your sitting here on my lap and we are having fun...and then the fucker started to bounce me. BOUNCING IS ONE OF MY LEAST FAVE THINGS. I'M NOT A CHILD YOU CREEPY FUCK. PS, I was not having fun. I think it's super degrading and insulting to bounce grown women. So I said, okay you obviously have never taken an economics class and have no idea about how the money system works. There is a monetary exchange that happens for entertainment regardless of wether or not you go home and jack off, you pay for porn and it's the same thing sort of and there is something to be said about warm bodies especially mine because in the real world you don't have a chance. What is it that you do? he is an electrician. I asked him if he would rewire my apartment for free. He of course said no, and at this point was pretty embarrassed and called himself an idiot I was in two deep, and I couldn't stop, it's like as soon as I insult someone for something really horrible like not having common sense I can't stop especially after the have insulted me. Time passes and he and his horrible group are leaving and he comes up to me for one more shot. As he was leaving I said "You know besides not really being my type, I really don't waste my time on men who can't hold and intelligent conversation, I'm happy to recommend some reading to you if you like" He left. I know this is totally hypocritical as my grammer is horrible when write, but whatever, I was mad.

ON TO THE GOOD STUFF, THE STUFF THAT MADE ALL MY NIGHTS FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS.

Tonight a super athletic ex male stripper came in apparently he met me at dreamgirls a while ago and was in LD's tonight just randomly, he claimed he doesn't go to stripclubs often, I'll believe that. It's odd that someone else in the industry can make everything seem so much better, he's successful, happy motivating, and has a similar love of fitness as Semi, and a similar build, height included. I need a nick name for him, Oak. He compared his legs to oak trees. So oak has neck tattoos, and liked me for my new septum piercing, and the fact that I have a brain and I use it to communicate effectively with those around me. This has been the thing lately. People have been pretty into the organ in my head. I've quit changing the pith of my voice at work and trying to come off as flirty and gone back to being myself, or as much of myself as I can be at work, it's working out well. Anyway there was something about talking to oak that really made me feel better. I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately and I've had a lot on my mind particularly a friend of mine who has been going though a rough battle with themselves for a while, I'm at a lose for how to help them. I know you can't help someone who doesn't want help, but they seem to want help and then they don't, it's getting a little confusing. More on Minnesota later.

Later tonight an old client came in who I haven't seen in who the hell knows how long, who kept going on and on, on who i've gotten hotter, I'm in better shape, I talk different, I've gotten sharper. He was pretty hung up on the idea of a new and improved me.

I'm quickly running out of time, the sun is about to come up, I feel like a fucking vampire in the summer here, going to bed when the sun is coming up is horrible, especially because I'm suppose to be heading up to whidby for the day tomorrow.

Wednesday night was the crazy vip room night of 3 strippers and 3 dudes, on fucking drunk dude who could not get the word no through his head with the two other girls. I think there is something about me that people take pretty seriously when I say no. I might be that I'm not stick thin. Or the fact that I don't have horrible hair extension, smell like booze and cigarettes and can barely keep my eyes open. Anywho the leader of this group chose the aforementioned girl, the drunk fucker took tiger and the totally tame awesome conversationalist ended up with me, and everything was great...then we all switched and I had the super drunk dude, who wanted me to go away as quickly as possible because I'm not fun. I fucking hate drunk people, so fucking rude. I ended up with the leader and he ended up saying that he liked me best not because I was pretty but because I stood up for myself I didn't bend the rules and I could hold a conversation.

The thing everyone has had in common is they have said I'm too good for this job, I'm just too good for it. I love my job, and I like that people feel this way, I think it helps people understand that this job isn't my forever it's just my for right now, it's means to an end, I mean, a means that I enjoy, but I will be so glad when this is all over and all i have is this blog to look back on.

On that note. I'm going the fuck to bed.