Luck, superstitions, getting what you want, and strippers

One of the scariest strippers I ever met (she worked in Portland, had her own booth and holy shit it was off with your head if you used it) some girl had put her shoes on the counter. She turned and very coldly said "Take your fucking shoes off the counter it's bad luck" Ask any stripper and they have a lucky outfit, lucky pair of underwear, lucky pair of shoes, and also equally unlucky outfits, shoes, and underwear. We also have a saying that I keep considering getting tattooed on me somewhere "There is always tomorrow" we live and die by this saying especially on bad nights. We have bills to pay just like everyone else only we don't have the stability of a paycheck so no matter how bad it gets we have to stay optimistic. Girls have the same superstition with their bags as their shoes. It took me forever to figure out the actual meaning of it, it didn't have to do with dirt, half of us bring our own rug to stand on. It has to do with respecting your money and not putting it on the level you walk, because then your money will always stay low. So by keeping it above where you put your dirty ass stripper feet it in theory keeps your money up. If you follow me on twitter which you should (if you don't it is @RED_stripper) you know I'm always asking for a miracle. For my rent to be paid, for the chance to run into Giles or Courtney again. Guess who came a knocking on my door today just as I was reading an email about my rent...One Giles. Luckily I had a friend over helping me move furniture around (re-decorating on a budget, just move shit around). The door bell rang, and I thought it was a parcel I'm expecting from DC so in my excitement buzzed them (him) in. I should have known by the number of buzzes it was him, we always had a code, when he was sober, and good, and before he killed my dog, anyway i send (oh what should we call him...Thor) to check and see if there is a parcel downstairs, and he comes up and says, nope it's giles. I immediately freak out and say to call the police, only how am I going to explain this "Hi this man has broken into my house before, and admitted it was just to steal from me and I accidentally buzzed him in...can you arrest him?" No, police were called, Thor said giles was trying to write me some sort of note...I'm sure it was something to the effect of "I really need a place to stay I'm getting clean, blah, blah, blah, heard it before" much like the time he broke into my place knowing I was away on business so there would be no one here. I think his note that time apologized for intruding on my space and that he was only there for a little while, the funny thing about that note was I walked into my house to discover the lights on and him pop his head out of the kitchen. Later in an argument of some sort we had (I'm sure it was because something expensive had gone missing as it usually did with him around...He finally admitted that he had only come in because he knew I wouldn't be there and he had actually come by to see what I had that he could sell for drug money. The funny thing is at this point he had stolen mostly everything nice I owned, things with high sentimental value like a Prada wallet (My 1st mentor had given me). So there wasn't really anything left for him to steal at the time, that I wouldn't notice, I mean he did take two red and black Alexander McQueen scarves, thinking I would just think I was just continuously misplacing them. That now I finally am starting to get my things back a little bit by a little bit, I have a new wallet that I like just as much and means as much. He had taken all of my Marc Jacobs bags, and I had a few, and I've replaced them with different bags, ones that could even be considered more grown up than before. Also I spilled an entire bowl of clam chowder in one of those bags so someone is walking around with a really nice black bag that smells slightly of fish. Okay enough about the past and the horrible people I let into my life because I thought I could help them back to the story... Thor then being a good friend did what any 6'3" 225 lb man (this is why i asked him to help me move furniture) would do, and chase him out of the building.He found him in the laundry room. Thor told him to leave, chased him out of the building, and down the street, saying I wanted nothing to do with him ever and that he's lucky I didn't kill him, since if given the chance I will cry every single day over my dog. I asked Thor how he looked, he said terrible he had sores all over his face, and looked very homeless. I suppose a good Samaritan would have let him shower...at the same time treat others as you would like to be treated, and I think if I was at that point in my life I would want my friends and family to turn me away, I would want any cushion from the bottom removed, so I could fall, and fall hard, and maybe then look around and pick myself up, realize life is unfair yes, but I don't have to be an asshole to people trying to help me, and just because my mother threw out all my designer things was no reason to steal and sell someone else's. I would find a way to get a job, even if it was the most demeaning of jobs (some of you might say what I do now is demeaning I think the exact opposite). However I would collect scrap metal, pour concrete, stand outside of lowes and get day labor jobs, till I could get a real job, then I would get my life together get an apartment, join NA or AA or NA and AA. So I guess I did exactly what I was suppose to do, I did not take pity or show pity where it was not due. Someone the other day said, because I had found one of my dogs hairs while putting on my make-up that it was a sign from her to move on and get a new dog. I now think it was a warning, and it was her way of making me look at things from a different view, from hers, my little protector, my little (literal) bulldog. So back to the luck part, I'm always asking for three things my rent paid, and to run into those two assholes. All three have happened in the matter of a week. I'm feeling very lucky, very blessed, very protected in a way. It's going to be so nice to work and be myself again, to work like I don't need it. It will give me the chance to really get back into the swing of being me, of not getting so butt-hurt when people turn me down. Seriously guys, saying no is just fine, but when I ask you when the last time you saw someone as hot as myself happened to be and you respond with never. Why the fuck are you saying no to a dance? Also am I that odd looking that I'm seriously asking, leave me a message in the comments about it. Anyway saying no is fine, but remember we are human too so say no nicely, I mean do you like getting turned down at bars? Probably not. We don't like getting turned down 25 times in a row. However now that my three wishes have been granted. Lets hope for the fourth and that my parcel shows up. I can close the book on that chapter of my life. I can move on...What a crazy feeling. I suppose there is always tomorrow, but it's nice to know that tomorrow I get to start being me, being funny, and making money again, hell I can start tonight, you can say no as many times as you want because it doesn't phase me. I'm feeling Sexy as fuck (thanks FP and DC for the hair) I still need to go to Vidal Sasson and use that gift card. I've decided to buy either a flat iron or a hair dryer, and new shampoo and conditioner. Or maybe just Shampoo and Conditioner since both my flatiron actually both of them work fine and my hair dryer has a retractable cord so it fits in small spaces and the cord doesn't get tangled. ANYWHO my hair is fresh as fuck, my body is looking slamming as usual...just need to get my squats in today. I'm feeling Snarky, and Funny, to me they are very different things. I'm feeling like the machine I previously was, the one that made more money than anyone else, that ran circles around the club. I'm very excited to be back in the saddle...I think I've said that about as many times as I've said there is always tomorrow...So I suppose at this moment it would be right to say "There is always today" Tonight I'll tell you the story of a friend of mine going to a strip club for the 1st time and how entertaining it was to me. So...here is to tonight.

Body dysmorphia is a serious thing.

First before I get into the guts of tonight I would like to say. DAMN I LOVE RADISHES even without butter.

So tonight I got into it with someone on instagram. How childish right? That's what I thought but sometimes I'm a little indulgent because it's nice hiding behind a screen. What happend you ask?  Well you can view the whole thing on insta by looking up redflagrampage and seeing how horrible I am at insulting people, and typing, and spelling and all those other things I'm not good at, speaking of I need to be in bed with my eyes closed in 19 minutes so please excuse the mess I call a blog.

Anyway. I posted some silly photo of me in my underwear (surprise) and tagged it with something like #dontyouwishyourgirlfriendwashotlikeme and this young lady commented saying there is a difference between hot and FAT and trashy. Mind you I would assume trashy right off the bat as well because aren't all strippers highly uneducated and living in the ghetto? Oh wait no we don't most of us have normal lives, and clean homes, and decent modes of transportation.

I responded by saying that I agreed with her and I thought it was silly that people also considered tattoos and smoking pot trashy.
She replied with "I'm not sure if you're on drugs or illiterate or just really awful at sarcasm really. it's a tough call"
I'm not on drugs, nor am I illiterate. I actually take offense to the lack of literacy comment.

I did a very brief skim of her photos not paying much attention to her. She retorted with something something. I must not be very bright. Then it got ugly. I told her to see a therapist since she seemed to have issues with herself and other women, and I would be concerned about gateway drug usage, and when getting into a "real job" they tend to drug test, so I claimed she didn't have a job, or an education. Major bad on my part, rude and mean. She got back to me saying I'm unfortunate and need therapy ( I actually go to therapy I think everyone should) and then she called me filthy and unfortunate. She stated she's been living on her own for 3 years and she's getting her esthetician license in january. Then came the squabble of me being narcissistic and not deserving respect because I don't have close on and I shouldn't give "advise" (advice) because of this and if I were to wear clothes I may be relevant enough to be taken seriously.
I got back to her admitted to having narcissistic tendencies, and that she shouldn't take me seriously, it's my work thingy, it's marketing for the most part and a good way to keep up with others in the industry. Or follow people I couldn't follow with my everyday life thing. I said something about needing to go back to work, and mentioned her lack of punctuation (like I should be one to talk, I also mentioned that, and directed her to right here.)

She said she is to blind to get LASIK so she can't see what she types, and that there is not difference between reality and make believe when it's trashy photos. She then apologized for my lack of job prospects and that I must strip for income, also that she hates encountering photos like this when browsing Instagram (question, my hashtags are pretty specific for things that would produce images of this nature, why would you search them if you didn't want to see this, or the few people I follow are clearly industry) She then said she was tired after laughing at me at my expense. I was then informed that her LEXILE SCORE was that of an average scientist, so I should not have said anything about her grammer, she's right I shouldn't have mine is horrible. Then she looped a friend in. She finished up by calling me a mediocre body with no face because she's right I do chop it off for safety reasons. Saying I'm not ashamed to show all of it and then some.

After this I brought it up to the girls in the locker room. We started going though her pictures and it became very apparent that she may be suffering from anorexia. I instantly felt bad. Like horrible. Of course this girl is trying to rip me apart, she has issues with herself, and it feels better to make fun of someone else, when you are tearing yourself apart from the inside out.

I left her one last comment...Saying that I was sorry, and that had I looked sooner I never would have said those things, and that if she needs someone to talk to to email me. I said that I know how hard it can be to be a woman in this day in age. I brought up a story of an ex of mine always checking out other women with big boobs, and how it literally gave me a complex and for a long time I thought he didn't like me and that I wasn't attractive, which was not true at all. I told her that becoming a stripper was the best thing I could have done for my body image issues, it has made me realize that beauty is not just one way, it's so many ways, and not everyone likes one thing. I told her that even if she doesn't believe me, or doesn't like "me" (even though she has no idea who I am...at all) that there is someone who cares about her, wants the best for her and wants her to love herself more than anyone else because no one is going to go to bed with you more than you go to bed with you.

It made me really sad to think that there are girls that still pick on other girls because of their own discomfort in their own skin. I wish so badly that my job didn't have the stigma it does and that people could see the benefits. I feel like lately I've been too quiet about the good things and that I gave up on going hard for those involved in the sex industry. I used to fight for this so hard. This girl reminded me why I should fight for it, because it's no fighting for me and my type of people it's fighting for women and the freedom to be themselves, and the right to love themselves unconditionally.