Preface If you don't want to hear me bitch right now please don't read this. Also in now way am I trying to offend an entire group of people. I understand that everyone is different which is why I have not given up completely on a particular brand of men, and I probably never will because the good ones are really great.
I also know I'm about to have all fucking hell rain down on me for this post. The thing is if you have never done anything I am about to mention I'm not referring to you so...please don't hate me.
Also I'm asking a lot of questions and I am truly seeking answers so I can better understand my clients, because if I don't want to be around you we aren't going to have any fun. I don't like threatening to brake bones, but I will because it's self defense, because most of this shit is sexual assault and that is no laughing matter. To everyone else who is going to be concerned after reading this, don't worry, I'm fine, just annoyed.
Nothing bad has happened it's all been nipped in the bud as they say...Except for one thing, which is people putting their finger in my belly button, which is just the oddest fucking thing. I'm sure I could write a whole blog post about that.
I don't understand why we are spoken to in a particular way, or treated like less than human for that matter. Let me give a few examples. I'll just cut to the chase and skip my whole intro to a sale...
Hi, what's your name?
*hand in my face* IN SOME TIME.
Your name is "in some time"?
IN SOME TIME. *hand in face*
Okay, my dear let me set something straight...one your in my chair, all of these chairs are mine, which means your in my house. I did not try to sell you anything, I'm not even sure if I want to sell you a dance. I like to sit down and get to know a person before I dance for them, because what if I don't like you? If I don't like you I don't want to dance for you, because it won't be fun for either of us. I understand you don't want a dance, but please at least be polite, let me get your name first, THEN you can say you are not ready for a dance.
blank stare
...would you like a dance?...
What does that entail?
Well...I'm going to run my mostly naked body down the length of yours.
How much?
A dance is $20 dollars and it is the length of a song, I will ask you in between every song if you would like me to continue, to avoid any questions later.
I want 2 for $20 (or sub in) I want 3 for $40 (or sub in) I want 3 for $30 (followed by) I want to touch.
You want to touch what?
I want to touch your boobs. You will take off your top. I want to touch (hand reach for my lady bits) DEFLECTED.
I'm sorry you can't do that, and sadly I'm not allowed to be topless during dances in Seattle.
Why?
It's the law.
But I want to.
I'm sorry, I don't make the law.
But I want to your boobs are so nice.
I know they are, I like them too, but that doesn't change anything
*reaches for boobs*
I said no. We are done here.
SIMILAR LINE.
...I don't want to pay 20 dollars for a dance.
Okay I'm sorry, you can pay me more if you want.
I want 3 dances for $20 dollars and I want to touch everything/ I want to put your boobs in my mouth.
My dear, dances are $20 and that is a reasonable price, it's far to low if you ask me. Every other place I dance at in the country is much higher and gentlemen are not allowed to touch me at all. You do realize this is the equivalent of me asking you to make me an app for my phone and not pay you for it right? You are basically devaluing what I do.
blank stare
But I want to touch you.
Absolutely not. We are done here.
...same story line...
Why won't you let me touch you?
Because it's the law.
No it's not.
Yes, it is would you like me to show you?
You can break the law for me. No one will know.
I will know, and I can't, I will lose my job. I don't think you want to support me.
Come on...
Uhhh... no I can't it's the law as I previously stated, and I'M NOT A FUCKING PROSTITUTE DICK FUCK.
Well I need to touch you if I get a dance.
...
How much to have the sex with you.
The sex?
Yes how much.
Well...I don't do that, so it doesn't matter.
Yes you do.
No I don't.
Yes you do, my friend just had a dance with you and he said you did.
Your friend is lying my dear.
No he's not.
Ok...well I was the one giving the dance and I know what happened, so unless your friend has a very strange view of what sex is, it didn't happen.
walk away
I want to do...any of the aforementioned myriad of things.
Um...no.
Well one of the other girls let me.
Did it ever occur to you, that if she lets you do it, then the likely hood of her letting other people do the same thing is really high? Also considering that I know who you are talking about in no way do I want any exchange of bodily fluids with that person. So...think about how many people you have shared her with.
I need those things so no I won't get a dance from you.
A brief description of giving a dance...
Grabbing at me, pulling me down into their lap. Trying their best to get their hands wherever they can, into whatever crevasse, or as much breast as they can grab, pulling at my clothing. Attempting to get their mouth on me wherever they can. Acting as if they were a small dog humping my leg. Doing their best to convince me to lower my morals for a the tiniest amount of money. Speaking to me as if I have had absolutely no formal education what so ever. It literally does not matter how many times I say no. NO MEANS NO FUCK TARD, no does not mean yes, and yes does not mean anal.
I have held down so many hands, held back so many mouths, argued about so many payments. I can't take it any more.
So many times this weekend so far I have had this happen. Or been turned down for a dance because I won't suck some dick. I almost broke a dudes collar bone after a dance because he wouldn't listen to me say no. Didn't think I meant it, and then didn't want to pay me.
Usually I get offended when someone says that I am, too smart, too pretty, too hot, right now I literally am all of those things. I am too good to be treated like a piece of shit by any man.
I am literally at my wits end. I've been on the verge of tears so many times this weekend, and it takes a lot to get me to cry at work because strippers don't cry. That is neither here nor there.
I don't want to give up on people, because that sucks then you miss out on the good ones, but I cannot be insulted anymore by these people. I can here some of the comments I'm sure this is going to get now...about how maybe I put myself in this situation, and I allow it to happen, and I'm weak. FUCK THAT NOISE. Everyone knows I tell everyone the rules when they sit down with me, and everyone knows that if I feel threatened I'm not afraid to defend myself, or ask for help from someone else. As you can see with the above dialogues I'm typically not rude.
I literally cannot do this anymore. I cannot handle it correctly I find myself trying so hard to hold back my temper not to just start screaming at people that i'm a human fucking being and I have feelings, and you can't treat me like this, and that they aren't better than me. That they aren't above me. That they have to respect me, that it's my fucking body and I say what goes. I make it so clear already in the nicest way possible. I fucking hate myself every time I dance for someone who can't follow my rules. It literally makes me hate my job, I cannot get enough isopropyl alcohol on my body sometimes. I don't fucking get it. I want to scream sometimes about how fucking filthy and disgusting and humiliating they are not only to themselves, but their mothers. They are totally giving men a bad name.
It is literally getting to the point where I cannot make money in this city. That shouldn't happen.
I know people do things for a reason, and they are probably not lying when they say some other girl let them do X,Y,Z. Here is the thing ladies, I don't care what you do if it's outside the club, but please do it outside the club. Please have some respect for yourself, charge enough money, be classy, but please I am fucking begging you please stop. I swear you don't have to do extras, I promise you, you will still make money and you are hurting everyone when you let someone touch you.
Can one of you out there in internet land send me a pep talk? I feel like a crazy person over here.
Showing posts with label strippers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label strippers. Show all posts
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Male Strippers...and some fucking douchbag...and all the good things people say.
Sometimes we find solace in those similar to us. Every night lately someone has reminded me of who I was over a year ago, that I'm great, and that I'm going to be just fine when this is all over.
Disclaimer I really would like to go to bed so please excuse all typing and grammer errors.
Lets start with the bad, everyone sucked tonight. So fucking rude. One fucktard specifically had me pretty unhappy. I approached him and his friends, his friend invited me to sit on the chair that this dumbass had his feet resting on. He was a little upset when I sat on it and started bitching about how I took his chair. I told him I owned all the chairs, because the amount of money I pay a month covers I think the clubs lease, so I think over a couple of years I have paid for everything in there. Anyway he invited me to sit on his lap to chat so I did (because that's how we roll up here) as I was trying not to eat shit in my huge as shoes he grabbed me to "help" me (worst idea ever) which I informed him made me less stable and more likely to fall. Okay finally seated. We start talking and he's like "oh you should come back to our party bus" I said I hope you have 100k to which he replies, I'm not asking you to strip I'm asking you to hang out and have a good time and I said yeah, so, it's still 100k. He said "I don't pay for things" to which I replied "How do you buy groceries?" he of course said with money and the same to movies, and other forms of entertainment. SO I asked then why would you not pay me for entertaining you? He said because I don't have to I mean your sitting here on my lap and we are having fun...and then the fucker started to bounce me. BOUNCING IS ONE OF MY LEAST FAVE THINGS. I'M NOT A CHILD YOU CREEPY FUCK. PS, I was not having fun. I think it's super degrading and insulting to bounce grown women. So I said, okay you obviously have never taken an economics class and have no idea about how the money system works. There is a monetary exchange that happens for entertainment regardless of wether or not you go home and jack off, you pay for porn and it's the same thing sort of and there is something to be said about warm bodies especially mine because in the real world you don't have a chance. What is it that you do? he is an electrician. I asked him if he would rewire my apartment for free. He of course said no, and at this point was pretty embarrassed and called himself an idiot I was in two deep, and I couldn't stop, it's like as soon as I insult someone for something really horrible like not having common sense I can't stop especially after the have insulted me. Time passes and he and his horrible group are leaving and he comes up to me for one more shot. As he was leaving I said "You know besides not really being my type, I really don't waste my time on men who can't hold and intelligent conversation, I'm happy to recommend some reading to you if you like" He left. I know this is totally hypocritical as my grammer is horrible when write, but whatever, I was mad.
ON TO THE GOOD STUFF, THE STUFF THAT MADE ALL MY NIGHTS FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS.
Tonight a super athletic ex male stripper came in apparently he met me at dreamgirls a while ago and was in LD's tonight just randomly, he claimed he doesn't go to stripclubs often, I'll believe that. It's odd that someone else in the industry can make everything seem so much better, he's successful, happy motivating, and has a similar love of fitness as Semi, and a similar build, height included. I need a nick name for him, Oak. He compared his legs to oak trees. So oak has neck tattoos, and liked me for my new septum piercing, and the fact that I have a brain and I use it to communicate effectively with those around me. This has been the thing lately. People have been pretty into the organ in my head. I've quit changing the pith of my voice at work and trying to come off as flirty and gone back to being myself, or as much of myself as I can be at work, it's working out well. Anyway there was something about talking to oak that really made me feel better. I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately and I've had a lot on my mind particularly a friend of mine who has been going though a rough battle with themselves for a while, I'm at a lose for how to help them. I know you can't help someone who doesn't want help, but they seem to want help and then they don't, it's getting a little confusing. More on Minnesota later.
Later tonight an old client came in who I haven't seen in who the hell knows how long, who kept going on and on, on who i've gotten hotter, I'm in better shape, I talk different, I've gotten sharper. He was pretty hung up on the idea of a new and improved me.
I'm quickly running out of time, the sun is about to come up, I feel like a fucking vampire in the summer here, going to bed when the sun is coming up is horrible, especially because I'm suppose to be heading up to whidby for the day tomorrow.
Wednesday night was the crazy vip room night of 3 strippers and 3 dudes, on fucking drunk dude who could not get the word no through his head with the two other girls. I think there is something about me that people take pretty seriously when I say no. I might be that I'm not stick thin. Or the fact that I don't have horrible hair extension, smell like booze and cigarettes and can barely keep my eyes open. Anywho the leader of this group chose the aforementioned girl, the drunk fucker took tiger and the totally tame awesome conversationalist ended up with me, and everything was great...then we all switched and I had the super drunk dude, who wanted me to go away as quickly as possible because I'm not fun. I fucking hate drunk people, so fucking rude. I ended up with the leader and he ended up saying that he liked me best not because I was pretty but because I stood up for myself I didn't bend the rules and I could hold a conversation.
The thing everyone has had in common is they have said I'm too good for this job, I'm just too good for it. I love my job, and I like that people feel this way, I think it helps people understand that this job isn't my forever it's just my for right now, it's means to an end, I mean, a means that I enjoy, but I will be so glad when this is all over and all i have is this blog to look back on.
On that note. I'm going the fuck to bed.
Disclaimer I really would like to go to bed so please excuse all typing and grammer errors.
Lets start with the bad, everyone sucked tonight. So fucking rude. One fucktard specifically had me pretty unhappy. I approached him and his friends, his friend invited me to sit on the chair that this dumbass had his feet resting on. He was a little upset when I sat on it and started bitching about how I took his chair. I told him I owned all the chairs, because the amount of money I pay a month covers I think the clubs lease, so I think over a couple of years I have paid for everything in there. Anyway he invited me to sit on his lap to chat so I did (because that's how we roll up here) as I was trying not to eat shit in my huge as shoes he grabbed me to "help" me (worst idea ever) which I informed him made me less stable and more likely to fall. Okay finally seated. We start talking and he's like "oh you should come back to our party bus" I said I hope you have 100k to which he replies, I'm not asking you to strip I'm asking you to hang out and have a good time and I said yeah, so, it's still 100k. He said "I don't pay for things" to which I replied "How do you buy groceries?" he of course said with money and the same to movies, and other forms of entertainment. SO I asked then why would you not pay me for entertaining you? He said because I don't have to I mean your sitting here on my lap and we are having fun...and then the fucker started to bounce me. BOUNCING IS ONE OF MY LEAST FAVE THINGS. I'M NOT A CHILD YOU CREEPY FUCK. PS, I was not having fun. I think it's super degrading and insulting to bounce grown women. So I said, okay you obviously have never taken an economics class and have no idea about how the money system works. There is a monetary exchange that happens for entertainment regardless of wether or not you go home and jack off, you pay for porn and it's the same thing sort of and there is something to be said about warm bodies especially mine because in the real world you don't have a chance. What is it that you do? he is an electrician. I asked him if he would rewire my apartment for free. He of course said no, and at this point was pretty embarrassed and called himself an idiot I was in two deep, and I couldn't stop, it's like as soon as I insult someone for something really horrible like not having common sense I can't stop especially after the have insulted me. Time passes and he and his horrible group are leaving and he comes up to me for one more shot. As he was leaving I said "You know besides not really being my type, I really don't waste my time on men who can't hold and intelligent conversation, I'm happy to recommend some reading to you if you like" He left. I know this is totally hypocritical as my grammer is horrible when write, but whatever, I was mad.
ON TO THE GOOD STUFF, THE STUFF THAT MADE ALL MY NIGHTS FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS.
Tonight a super athletic ex male stripper came in apparently he met me at dreamgirls a while ago and was in LD's tonight just randomly, he claimed he doesn't go to stripclubs often, I'll believe that. It's odd that someone else in the industry can make everything seem so much better, he's successful, happy motivating, and has a similar love of fitness as Semi, and a similar build, height included. I need a nick name for him, Oak. He compared his legs to oak trees. So oak has neck tattoos, and liked me for my new septum piercing, and the fact that I have a brain and I use it to communicate effectively with those around me. This has been the thing lately. People have been pretty into the organ in my head. I've quit changing the pith of my voice at work and trying to come off as flirty and gone back to being myself, or as much of myself as I can be at work, it's working out well. Anyway there was something about talking to oak that really made me feel better. I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately and I've had a lot on my mind particularly a friend of mine who has been going though a rough battle with themselves for a while, I'm at a lose for how to help them. I know you can't help someone who doesn't want help, but they seem to want help and then they don't, it's getting a little confusing. More on Minnesota later.
Later tonight an old client came in who I haven't seen in who the hell knows how long, who kept going on and on, on who i've gotten hotter, I'm in better shape, I talk different, I've gotten sharper. He was pretty hung up on the idea of a new and improved me.
I'm quickly running out of time, the sun is about to come up, I feel like a fucking vampire in the summer here, going to bed when the sun is coming up is horrible, especially because I'm suppose to be heading up to whidby for the day tomorrow.
Wednesday night was the crazy vip room night of 3 strippers and 3 dudes, on fucking drunk dude who could not get the word no through his head with the two other girls. I think there is something about me that people take pretty seriously when I say no. I might be that I'm not stick thin. Or the fact that I don't have horrible hair extension, smell like booze and cigarettes and can barely keep my eyes open. Anywho the leader of this group chose the aforementioned girl, the drunk fucker took tiger and the totally tame awesome conversationalist ended up with me, and everything was great...then we all switched and I had the super drunk dude, who wanted me to go away as quickly as possible because I'm not fun. I fucking hate drunk people, so fucking rude. I ended up with the leader and he ended up saying that he liked me best not because I was pretty but because I stood up for myself I didn't bend the rules and I could hold a conversation.
The thing everyone has had in common is they have said I'm too good for this job, I'm just too good for it. I love my job, and I like that people feel this way, I think it helps people understand that this job isn't my forever it's just my for right now, it's means to an end, I mean, a means that I enjoy, but I will be so glad when this is all over and all i have is this blog to look back on.
On that note. I'm going the fuck to bed.
Friday, May 3, 2013
GVS strikes local strip club....
For those of you unfamiliar with GVS it is a horrible illness known in it's entirety as Golden Vagina Syndrome, it typically inhabits the bodies of newer strippers. One of the girls in my locker area is currently suffering from it.
I walked into work last night and it was crowded in my area, I couldn't turn my big butt around without running it into someone else. There is this younger stripper in the back having a conversation with one of my fave girls about fighting, and how she doesn't talk shit. Let me also interject that she's wasted, she puts down at least a 750ml bottle of Vodka every night she works She is continually saying how she doesn't say anything that she just leans back and smiles, before she picks up the heaviest thing she can find to swing at someone...First off this is dumb, you are currently talking shit, and there are a bunch of bitches back here who would happily prove you wrong.
S (another fave of mine) is talking about how crowed it is and that people need to move and get on the floor so there is space to get ready. GVSS (golden vagina syndrome suffer) is also talking about how it's crowed, but she's not getting ready she's just milling about, S tells her to get out since she doesn't have a purpose for being back there. She also drops that she might drop kick her if she doesn't. I chime in with "If you don't need to be back here Get The Fuck Out" She decides to come back at me with "Bitch don't tell me what to do" I'm caught a little off guard, I was merely chiming in, and yes I wasn't being very nice, I'll admit it, she annoys me. At the same time she can be so sweet when she's not drunk, nicest girl, she's caring, funny, and all sorts of other things, but when she's wasted and around other newish strippers with egos she's fucking awful. I retorted with, "you're the one that said you couldn't breathe so fix it. She starts talking to the girls around her all while she's within arms reach of me saying "I wish a N*g* (you get the idea) would" Other girls are trying to calm her down, it's not working so I open my mouth again and I'm like "Hey I was joking, calm down" She pipes back with "Don't fucking tell me to calm down, never ever tell me to calm down, I will fuck you up" At this point I'm waiting for this drunk bitch to punch me. I'm thinking there is about to be a locker room fight, because this bitch keeps running her mouth every night. She leaves to smoke.
L comes down and says that GVSS is upstairs saying everyone is being bitchy and to tell her if I'm talking shit. I turn to L and say please tell her I'm talking shit, that she needs to quit drinking so much and running her mouth. I don't think it ever got back to her. We started talking about how great she is when she isn't drunk, as I mentioned before she's awesome.
She comes back down, L says "I hate drunk people they totally annoy me" GVSS "Says oh I'm sorry I hope I'm not annoying you" L "I didn't even notice" L then turns to me and says "Red wouldn't it be awesome if we could actually fight people and not get fired for it" I smirk and say "Yup it would be pretty rad" Sometimes it would be nice to just get it out rather than squawking at each other. Or for the girls that talk a big game to actually bring it to the table. This statement quieted the whole shit talking forum that was happening.
GVS is a dangerous thing, it can turn a whole club against you. This girl is really working on making some enemies with all her drinking and acting like she's the top bitch. She's also one of those girls that talks about how much she weighs or doesn't weigh. She's cute don't get me wrong. She has big boobs, shes Puerto Rican, she's pretty. One night she was all like blah, blah, blah, I weigh 120 blah, blah, blah. The thing is I look lighter than her, I might just be lighter than her but I'm also super muscular, to the point people comment on what good shape I'm in, not in an overly done way yet. I work out. I run, I try to stay active, I feel pretty fit. This girl follows that statement with I'm an athlete, my whole family consists of athletes I'm just too lazy to work out. UMM WHAT THE FUCK! YOU ARE NOT AN ATHLETE UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY WORK OUT, JUST FYI. Statements like that obviously annoy me. There are those of us that work hard to look a certain way and I don't need anyone negating the work that I do. I so want the best for this girl, I really want her to quit being delusional, before someone slaps some sense into her.
I walked into work last night and it was crowded in my area, I couldn't turn my big butt around without running it into someone else. There is this younger stripper in the back having a conversation with one of my fave girls about fighting, and how she doesn't talk shit. Let me also interject that she's wasted, she puts down at least a 750ml bottle of Vodka every night she works She is continually saying how she doesn't say anything that she just leans back and smiles, before she picks up the heaviest thing she can find to swing at someone...First off this is dumb, you are currently talking shit, and there are a bunch of bitches back here who would happily prove you wrong.
S (another fave of mine) is talking about how crowed it is and that people need to move and get on the floor so there is space to get ready. GVSS (golden vagina syndrome suffer) is also talking about how it's crowed, but she's not getting ready she's just milling about, S tells her to get out since she doesn't have a purpose for being back there. She also drops that she might drop kick her if she doesn't. I chime in with "If you don't need to be back here Get The Fuck Out" She decides to come back at me with "Bitch don't tell me what to do" I'm caught a little off guard, I was merely chiming in, and yes I wasn't being very nice, I'll admit it, she annoys me. At the same time she can be so sweet when she's not drunk, nicest girl, she's caring, funny, and all sorts of other things, but when she's wasted and around other newish strippers with egos she's fucking awful. I retorted with, "you're the one that said you couldn't breathe so fix it. She starts talking to the girls around her all while she's within arms reach of me saying "I wish a N*g* (you get the idea) would" Other girls are trying to calm her down, it's not working so I open my mouth again and I'm like "Hey I was joking, calm down" She pipes back with "Don't fucking tell me to calm down, never ever tell me to calm down, I will fuck you up" At this point I'm waiting for this drunk bitch to punch me. I'm thinking there is about to be a locker room fight, because this bitch keeps running her mouth every night. She leaves to smoke.
L comes down and says that GVSS is upstairs saying everyone is being bitchy and to tell her if I'm talking shit. I turn to L and say please tell her I'm talking shit, that she needs to quit drinking so much and running her mouth. I don't think it ever got back to her. We started talking about how great she is when she isn't drunk, as I mentioned before she's awesome.
She comes back down, L says "I hate drunk people they totally annoy me" GVSS "Says oh I'm sorry I hope I'm not annoying you" L "I didn't even notice" L then turns to me and says "Red wouldn't it be awesome if we could actually fight people and not get fired for it" I smirk and say "Yup it would be pretty rad" Sometimes it would be nice to just get it out rather than squawking at each other. Or for the girls that talk a big game to actually bring it to the table. This statement quieted the whole shit talking forum that was happening.
GVS is a dangerous thing, it can turn a whole club against you. This girl is really working on making some enemies with all her drinking and acting like she's the top bitch. She's also one of those girls that talks about how much she weighs or doesn't weigh. She's cute don't get me wrong. She has big boobs, shes Puerto Rican, she's pretty. One night she was all like blah, blah, blah, I weigh 120 blah, blah, blah. The thing is I look lighter than her, I might just be lighter than her but I'm also super muscular, to the point people comment on what good shape I'm in, not in an overly done way yet. I work out. I run, I try to stay active, I feel pretty fit. This girl follows that statement with I'm an athlete, my whole family consists of athletes I'm just too lazy to work out. UMM WHAT THE FUCK! YOU ARE NOT AN ATHLETE UNLESS YOU ACTUALLY WORK OUT, JUST FYI. Statements like that obviously annoy me. There are those of us that work hard to look a certain way and I don't need anyone negating the work that I do. I so want the best for this girl, I really want her to quit being delusional, before someone slaps some sense into her.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
You always want to be little spoon!
No, no,not me. I feel like I'm never little spoon.
This whole conversation started last night, while I was having a glass of wine with a friend I haven't seen in gosh 9 months. Only after I finished my first final, because I don't drink while taking tests. We were talking about recent conquests. This conversation had me laughing for over an hour. Why? I'm the most conservative stripper ever and I dont think of sex like that. Wait yes I do.
Anyway we were discussing proper bedroom etiquette, and manners, such as if the bathroom door is closed leave it that way. You never #2 in front of anyone, not okay. Always finish what you start especially if you finish early. Finishing early is only acceptable after a long dry spell. Leave before you overstay your welcome.
We had a brief discussion on dating people who might be a little batty. Only because I know a few of the girls that he has spent some time with. In the past couple years it appears that I just attract the ones with a screw loose.
Anyway it turned into a conversation about dating people under the age of 30 (which I swear to god I will never do again, and really 30 is pushing it, I think I need to make a rule that they must be like 7 years old than me or something.). How they happen to be children, almost literally I have found myself taking care of crying men. Now there is nothing wrong with crying when it's appropriate. Im down to be an ear to listen to whatever is on your mind, and if you are really sad about something I'm happy to console you.
It moved from there to the fact that I am rarely little spoon...Or there was the guy who wanted to sleep on my shoulder. Yes that's right my shoulder. Let me just state I still have a vagina and I'm curvy in all the right places so there is no way to mistake me for a man. I have never felt more masculine, than I did at that moment. Apparently that is what I have become. I've become both the man and the woman in relationships. I pay for dinner, I make dinner, I work my ass off, I go to school, and I'm always the big spoon. Someone is asking to get pegged and I'm not picking up on the hint.
It leads me to the question. What happened to all the real men? What happened to being challenged. Really what happened to getting to feel safe, not like you have to fight your own fights and maybe his too. I'm officially tired of feeling like I could kick everyone's ass, even the ones that are in the gym everyday. I mean I get it I'm pretty dominate...but come on! If you can't stand the heat get the fuck out the kitchen. Actually if you want to be the woman can you please get in the kitchen and make me breakfast, and don't over cook my eggs.
This, this, is why I'm staying single.
This whole conversation started last night, while I was having a glass of wine with a friend I haven't seen in gosh 9 months. Only after I finished my first final, because I don't drink while taking tests. We were talking about recent conquests. This conversation had me laughing for over an hour. Why? I'm the most conservative stripper ever and I dont think of sex like that. Wait yes I do.
Anyway we were discussing proper bedroom etiquette, and manners, such as if the bathroom door is closed leave it that way. You never #2 in front of anyone, not okay. Always finish what you start especially if you finish early. Finishing early is only acceptable after a long dry spell. Leave before you overstay your welcome.
We had a brief discussion on dating people who might be a little batty. Only because I know a few of the girls that he has spent some time with. In the past couple years it appears that I just attract the ones with a screw loose.
Anyway it turned into a conversation about dating people under the age of 30 (which I swear to god I will never do again, and really 30 is pushing it, I think I need to make a rule that they must be like 7 years old than me or something.). How they happen to be children, almost literally I have found myself taking care of crying men. Now there is nothing wrong with crying when it's appropriate. Im down to be an ear to listen to whatever is on your mind, and if you are really sad about something I'm happy to console you.
It moved from there to the fact that I am rarely little spoon...Or there was the guy who wanted to sleep on my shoulder. Yes that's right my shoulder. Let me just state I still have a vagina and I'm curvy in all the right places so there is no way to mistake me for a man. I have never felt more masculine, than I did at that moment. Apparently that is what I have become. I've become both the man and the woman in relationships. I pay for dinner, I make dinner, I work my ass off, I go to school, and I'm always the big spoon. Someone is asking to get pegged and I'm not picking up on the hint.
It leads me to the question. What happened to all the real men? What happened to being challenged. Really what happened to getting to feel safe, not like you have to fight your own fights and maybe his too. I'm officially tired of feeling like I could kick everyone's ass, even the ones that are in the gym everyday. I mean I get it I'm pretty dominate...but come on! If you can't stand the heat get the fuck out the kitchen. Actually if you want to be the woman can you please get in the kitchen and make me breakfast, and don't over cook my eggs.
This, this, is why I'm staying single.
Friday, August 10, 2012
The game
Dating has been a huge conversation in the strip club as of late.
IT sort of started with someone who is not a patron choosing to camp on my lawn. (No one panic, no seriously don't) That's a story for another time. The following is a collection of dating advice from strippers.
1. Don't call him, whatever you do don't call him.
2. He nutted on you? He should have called you have a couple of hours.
3. Buy the book women love bitches.
4. I don't care if he is nice, if he asks you out say no.
4.1. Do not tell him what you are doing, he never needs to know.
5. The first 6 months make it a chase men want to chase something not have it given to them.
6. Don't be too nice.
7. Don't be too mean.
In other news I was reminded how my little family is dysfunctional. I was using the restroom and 2 other girls barge in, which isn't that abnormal considering we don't really have a doorknob. I lost my temper and yelled at them to leave as I had just been backed into a corner by squawking girls. On of the girls I yelled to leave called me a bitch. I heard so many people through the door defending me that I actually just like to pee with the door closed. My girls, they are the best. I love them. I would not give up this job right now for the world. I mean I would consider it if the right job came along, but I fear that I will never find another group of girls like this again, that I am excited to see every night.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Last time we were here.
Last time I sat on the couch I am currently sitting on to write this blog I was crying uncontrollably. I was in the darkest of dark places. Darker than Little Darlings and that my dears is a basement. On the bright side of all of this. I am in a much better place at this point I have come to terms with certain things in my life...Like being a stripper again. Yes hard to believe I RED had a hard time with being a stripper for a moment as I am such a proponent of this industry if you can hack it which leads me to my next point.
A friend of mine was chatting with a girl online. By chatting I mean he was using an online dating service (I live vicariously through my friends in this way) He was telling me about this girl and that she had said she was a stripper. I thought that it would be really cool if he took this opportunity to get a really inside view of a strippers life rather than just mine because I might be just a little bit different than most...Here we have the stripper in her natural habitat, notice the skittish movements and slight aversion to daylight...fascinating. I'm kidding of course, most of the girls I know are great.
Anyway it came about that she was lying about being a stripper. I think that, lying about this job is probably one of the strangest things you could lie about. Why would you? Having gone on dates with people it has become pretty apparent to me that men don't think it's very "cool" to be dating a stripper. Typically it's a deal breaker, or it will eventually become a deal breaker.
My dear friend knowing that there are many pros and cons to this job gave her a little what for as she apparently stated something, something, about morals. Saying that there are may respectable strippers in the world and we happen to have morals, we just do it as a job (a job that I love) but still a job.
I really wish I had the option of talking to most people that feel that strippers don't have morals. I wish I could give them a small glimpse into my life and prove to them that we don't just shove thousands of dollars of drugs up our noses a month. We don't sleep with everyone that shows interest. We really don't have a low self-esteem. That in fact our ego's occasionally are a little over inflated. We have very normal lives. Some of us have children, are on the PTA, outside of work we don't really dress sexy, we try to cover as much as we can.
It's absolutely ridiculous to assume we don't have morals. It's even more ridiculous to lie about being a stripper. On that note...
Dear Random Internet Girl,
Amateur night is every Thursday. It's a couple hundred dollars if you win, or we (the club) will cover your license should you choose to be a dancer. Then you don't have to lie about it to impress people, you can experience first hand the look of disappointment on people faces, or should you get really unlucky the random dude that reaches out to grab your boob because he thinks you are easy. But really with any luck you will get lucky and find out who your real friends are and learn to live a tiny double life, but not a double life in a bad way if you do it correctly.
Kindest Regards,
RED.
A friend of mine was chatting with a girl online. By chatting I mean he was using an online dating service (I live vicariously through my friends in this way) He was telling me about this girl and that she had said she was a stripper. I thought that it would be really cool if he took this opportunity to get a really inside view of a strippers life rather than just mine because I might be just a little bit different than most...Here we have the stripper in her natural habitat, notice the skittish movements and slight aversion to daylight...fascinating. I'm kidding of course, most of the girls I know are great.
Anyway it came about that she was lying about being a stripper. I think that, lying about this job is probably one of the strangest things you could lie about. Why would you? Having gone on dates with people it has become pretty apparent to me that men don't think it's very "cool" to be dating a stripper. Typically it's a deal breaker, or it will eventually become a deal breaker.
My dear friend knowing that there are many pros and cons to this job gave her a little what for as she apparently stated something, something, about morals. Saying that there are may respectable strippers in the world and we happen to have morals, we just do it as a job (a job that I love) but still a job.
I really wish I had the option of talking to most people that feel that strippers don't have morals. I wish I could give them a small glimpse into my life and prove to them that we don't just shove thousands of dollars of drugs up our noses a month. We don't sleep with everyone that shows interest. We really don't have a low self-esteem. That in fact our ego's occasionally are a little over inflated. We have very normal lives. Some of us have children, are on the PTA, outside of work we don't really dress sexy, we try to cover as much as we can.
It's absolutely ridiculous to assume we don't have morals. It's even more ridiculous to lie about being a stripper. On that note...
Dear Random Internet Girl,
Amateur night is every Thursday. It's a couple hundred dollars if you win, or we (the club) will cover your license should you choose to be a dancer. Then you don't have to lie about it to impress people, you can experience first hand the look of disappointment on people faces, or should you get really unlucky the random dude that reaches out to grab your boob because he thinks you are easy. But really with any luck you will get lucky and find out who your real friends are and learn to live a tiny double life, but not a double life in a bad way if you do it correctly.
Kindest Regards,
RED.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Give me that face again and I will totally let you know
Sadly I'm not talking about work for once. I'm really tired, maybe I should preface with that. I've been putting in work at both work and school. None of which really seem to be paying off at this exact moment which might also be inducing my horrible mood. Correction they are paying off but everything worth doing is worth doing right and sometimes the benefits are not seen immediately Before we get into the highlights of last night I need to get something off my chest. I work in the service industry and you have to do something pretty horrible like...pull your cell out and try to photograph my co-workers to get me really riled up these days. I have my opinions on things and they are as follows. I eat at a particular restaurant almost weekly and every time I show up I get some smug attitude and I feel horribly unwelcome, that being said I suppose it isn't weekly anymore. If I change my mind before you even get my order in your system about what I want to eat and you make an annoyed face at me I'm probably going to let you know, except that today, today I am too tired. Maybe I will just write them a letter voicing my concerns with their waitstaff. I mean I get it I look like Julia Roberts in pretty woman today(BUT I HAVE ALL THIS MONEY)...what can I say I woke up late and grabbed what was closest to me, which happened to be a black mini dress, beige suede boots (of the western nature) and a drapey thingy that I wear sometimes, and yes my hair is totally gross and disgusting, yes I'm not wearing make up. I really wanted to say to this woman who I'm sure is extremely nice "Listen, I saw that face, and it's not the first time someone here has shown disinterest in the fact that I am taking up a small portion of this restaurant, and I understand that should I choose to take myself elsewhere someone else will take my place and I'm sure your tips won't be affected, but please consider if I were to make that fucking little pissed off face at you every time you opened your mouth, or if you didn't hear me correctly, or if you tired to rush me though the line because you have people behind me (please reference the time my change was literally thrown at me because I had to be to class) , wouldn't you just want to punch me? Of course you would! So...stop it, it's unbecoming" Okay maybe I won't write a letter, maybe I'll just ask them the next time they do it if they are in fact annoyed with me and would like me to eat elsewhere because I will. None of this Seattle passive aggressive nonsense.
Okay enough bitching about my lunch experience.
Let's talk about other things like... marketing, and how I am really, really, working on marketing for my club. I could leave my club and go elsewhere but I feel like...if you build it they will come. I am going to put little darlings back on the map if I have to plaster the side of a building with my ass just to get some traffic, if i have to wake up early to do radio shows (not a bad idea, strippers in the morning what could be more fun) If I have to go to every happy hour in this city and hand out my personal work cards to get any and everyone in the damn door, which I'm doing this weekend so if you see me out and about do say hi! I am waging a war on this city. Not really, but I am going to do my best to create a market, to generate a little bit of a stir. Basically I'm talking about a total brand overhaul. I think we/I need it. I think that it would be a great project and would prove that marketing dowse work when people work at it. Thank goodness for my creative background and the supportive people around me. At the same time I have to maintain a normal life. If I can Balance in 8inch heels I can balance my life.
Okay enough bitching about my lunch experience.
Let's talk about other things like... marketing, and how I am really, really, working on marketing for my club. I could leave my club and go elsewhere but I feel like...if you build it they will come. I am going to put little darlings back on the map if I have to plaster the side of a building with my ass just to get some traffic, if i have to wake up early to do radio shows (not a bad idea, strippers in the morning what could be more fun) If I have to go to every happy hour in this city and hand out my personal work cards to get any and everyone in the damn door, which I'm doing this weekend so if you see me out and about do say hi! I am waging a war on this city. Not really, but I am going to do my best to create a market, to generate a little bit of a stir. Basically I'm talking about a total brand overhaul. I think we/I need it. I think that it would be a great project and would prove that marketing dowse work when people work at it. Thank goodness for my creative background and the supportive people around me. At the same time I have to maintain a normal life. If I can Balance in 8inch heels I can balance my life.
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Coffee shop round two
Back to people staring at me. Some guy just walked right up to me to try and guess what I do for a living. He guessed that I worked in paranormal studies, I was an interior designer, or statistical analysis (which we all know I wanted to do at one point in time, and being an analyst is part of finance), I sort of started laughing at the paranormal studies. I said described I was in sales, and part of my job is to analyze people within the first few moments of meeting them to decided if a sale is potentially going to happen (Malcom Gladwell reference of course)
He sat down at my table pushed my coffee closer to me. Asked my my opinions on the after life. Which are...I really hope there is one, but should there not be I'm not going to be horribly disappointed because well, I'll be dead.
Anyway he continues to talk to me and I watch him get more and more nervous about even sitting with me. Personally I love watching people squirm has always brought me an immense amount of joy. He starts telling me what he does and I start tuning him out, unfortunately he disrupted my previous writing which would set me back on my accounting studying.
He asked me about human experience and how to make every day better and less mundane and I'm thinking to myself "Self nothing in my life is mundane ever if I really think about it" I suggested that he find something to focus on everyday whether it be the fact that he feels as if he's alone, to try notice that there are others in the world just as alone as he is, and perhaps he should find solace it that. Or that he should continue to do what he's doing which is approaching strangers in coffee shops, especially ones that look extremely focused on what there are doing.
He asked me about my analysis of him. I don't have to be nice while I'm not at work so sometimes I'm not. I told him he was awkward, his points in his conversation were frequently convoluted by the fact that it seemed he couldn't focus due to how nervous he was to be sitting at my table. He looked at me and said I was intimidating. I told him I was sorry he felt that way, and then I said I was not working so there for I felt it was in his best interest to leave me alone as I was obviously not interested in him.
GUYS!!!! What the fuck? I realize it takes balls to walk up to a girl but holy shit, don't ask me if I work in paranormal activity. DO I LOOK LIKE A GHOSTBUSTER? I mean I wish I was but holy crap, don't be an idiot. I also realize I can be intimidating but you chose to approach me can you really expect it to go swimmingly after you ask me if I'm a Ghost buster basically. Jeezus people are crazy out here.
Here is to hoping he doesn't follow me out of here and I have to beat the shit out of some little fucking nerd, that will really ruin my Sunday, I was really working on being a better person.
Anyway back to that accounting I keep talking about.
He sat down at my table pushed my coffee closer to me. Asked my my opinions on the after life. Which are...I really hope there is one, but should there not be I'm not going to be horribly disappointed because well, I'll be dead.
Anyway he continues to talk to me and I watch him get more and more nervous about even sitting with me. Personally I love watching people squirm has always brought me an immense amount of joy. He starts telling me what he does and I start tuning him out, unfortunately he disrupted my previous writing which would set me back on my accounting studying.
He asked me about human experience and how to make every day better and less mundane and I'm thinking to myself "Self nothing in my life is mundane ever if I really think about it" I suggested that he find something to focus on everyday whether it be the fact that he feels as if he's alone, to try notice that there are others in the world just as alone as he is, and perhaps he should find solace it that. Or that he should continue to do what he's doing which is approaching strangers in coffee shops, especially ones that look extremely focused on what there are doing.
He asked me about my analysis of him. I don't have to be nice while I'm not at work so sometimes I'm not. I told him he was awkward, his points in his conversation were frequently convoluted by the fact that it seemed he couldn't focus due to how nervous he was to be sitting at my table. He looked at me and said I was intimidating. I told him I was sorry he felt that way, and then I said I was not working so there for I felt it was in his best interest to leave me alone as I was obviously not interested in him.
GUYS!!!! What the fuck? I realize it takes balls to walk up to a girl but holy shit, don't ask me if I work in paranormal activity. DO I LOOK LIKE A GHOSTBUSTER? I mean I wish I was but holy crap, don't be an idiot. I also realize I can be intimidating but you chose to approach me can you really expect it to go swimmingly after you ask me if I'm a Ghost buster basically. Jeezus people are crazy out here.
Here is to hoping he doesn't follow me out of here and I have to beat the shit out of some little fucking nerd, that will really ruin my Sunday, I was really working on being a better person.
Anyway back to that accounting I keep talking about.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Let's get down to the nitty gritty
Ok management knows how I feel about most things. I rarely keep my mouth closed and air my grievances. I feel this is appropriate due to my longevity at our humble little club. That being said they know that I feel it's highly inappropriate to charge SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much money. I would like to think of this as a list of things I would like to address at our next house meeting. Considering we have new management. I hate dealing with new management. I have to remember that I must just keep my head down keep grinding, and shut the fuck up, hand them their money and accept their seemingly insincere "thank you's" and they "have I told you how pretty you look todays" (Management please remember that I don't give a fuck what you think I look like, you care that I pay you and I care about the following)
1. Please don't take our bathroom doors off, I don't actually think that you can legally. I really feel that a work place is required to have bathroom doors. Does anyone know the answer to this question actually?
2. I think it's ridiculous for our bathroom sink to be out of commission for more than 24 hours.
3. Do we actually have a cleaning staff? Can you prove it?
4. How about getting the carpets done more frequently. We set our knees down on that and it's gross.
5. Can we start a no stripper shoes outside? I mean seriously sidewalks are disgusting!
6. I would really like to see some receipts, thanks guys.
If you read this blog before I made it a little friendlier to the readers I'm sure you got a quick idea of how much it costs to work per month. I understand owners equity and that there are other people in the company that need to get paid and blah, blah, blah, but considering the amount that I pay and lets just assume that there are others that pay as much as I do per month, the club really isn't doing that bad. I've worked in other clubs that charge less and have a cleaner working environment.
I also realize that I have these little rants every now and again and I think about quitting and moving to a different club, but at the same time I know that I work best in my club, when management stays the fuck out of my business and I stay out of theirs.
Maybe I'll save everyone some time and energy and go bleach the fuck out of the locker room tomorrow during the day just for kicks, so I know that it was cleaned recently or I'll just start buying bleach wipes so everyone can clean their own station and the bottom of their shoes before they go on stage or something. Taking matters into my own hands might be a better idea than bitching about them.
1. Please don't take our bathroom doors off, I don't actually think that you can legally. I really feel that a work place is required to have bathroom doors. Does anyone know the answer to this question actually?
2. I think it's ridiculous for our bathroom sink to be out of commission for more than 24 hours.
3. Do we actually have a cleaning staff? Can you prove it?
4. How about getting the carpets done more frequently. We set our knees down on that and it's gross.
5. Can we start a no stripper shoes outside? I mean seriously sidewalks are disgusting!
6. I would really like to see some receipts, thanks guys.
If you read this blog before I made it a little friendlier to the readers I'm sure you got a quick idea of how much it costs to work per month. I understand owners equity and that there are other people in the company that need to get paid and blah, blah, blah, but considering the amount that I pay and lets just assume that there are others that pay as much as I do per month, the club really isn't doing that bad. I've worked in other clubs that charge less and have a cleaner working environment.
I also realize that I have these little rants every now and again and I think about quitting and moving to a different club, but at the same time I know that I work best in my club, when management stays the fuck out of my business and I stay out of theirs.
Maybe I'll save everyone some time and energy and go bleach the fuck out of the locker room tomorrow during the day just for kicks, so I know that it was cleaned recently or I'll just start buying bleach wipes so everyone can clean their own station and the bottom of their shoes before they go on stage or something. Taking matters into my own hands might be a better idea than bitching about them.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Everyone always asks...
If I'm single, the answer is yes, yes, I am. I was going to write a blog post about all the reasons why I'm single then I thought that might be a little depressing so let us just go with I really don't have time, and I think it's in everyone's greatest interest if I remain single as then no one gets their feelings hurt.
So...Lets do the weekend highlights! YAY WEEKEND HIGHLIGHTS.
I would like to thank everyone who came in on Thursday night, if I haven't thanked you personally yet I mean to. All of you truly started my work week of right, I could not ask for a better beginning it was great! In fact it was one of those work days that I may think about in the future when having a bad work day as a reminder that everyday is great in it's own way.
Friday. Friday was an exercise in "Oh shit I really need to get my A game on" and it worked it was a great reminder actually on how to work correctly. I think I've been slacking lately and that's been my problem with the past few weeks I just got lazy. I think this is due to the fact that I don't have a vacation planned. Therefore I have very few financial goals outside of tuition and last time I checked school was not a vacation, but it's almost as expensive as one sometimes. On that note I'm back to my old self again, which I will say feels great.
Saturday. Saturday I had the opportunity to be really mean to someone so I took the liberty to bind their arms and whisper things in their ears. Which brings me to the question of..."How scary am I?" Personally I don't like being restrained so that's terrifying in itself, but I would be horrified if I was staring at myself whispering. So I suppose if I had a twin I would be scared of them is really what I'm getting to. Beyond that it was another flawless evening.
Sunday. Sunday POT LUCK SUNDAY! I was the only person to bring anything, which is fine, I think it's great if anyone brings something home cooked, that's really the important part that people aren't eating burgers. Sunday I realized that we have an influx of really stupid 19 year olds. All of whom I would love to hit in the face and if they continue to talk like idiots I just might. Or I will very politely remind them that no one in the locker room cares about their bedroom antics and they should save them to tell customers as that's more entertaining and apparently a selling point for some people.
On that note I suppose I will have to make it a goal this week to remind the 19 year olds to shut the fuck up. Especially the one that sounds like Fran from the nanny, she really makes me want to shut my head in a locker till the sound of her voice stops. It is in fact so annoying that the thought of it bothers me even when I'm not there.
Alright everyone have a great day and make good choices.
So...Lets do the weekend highlights! YAY WEEKEND HIGHLIGHTS.
I would like to thank everyone who came in on Thursday night, if I haven't thanked you personally yet I mean to. All of you truly started my work week of right, I could not ask for a better beginning it was great! In fact it was one of those work days that I may think about in the future when having a bad work day as a reminder that everyday is great in it's own way.
Friday. Friday was an exercise in "Oh shit I really need to get my A game on" and it worked it was a great reminder actually on how to work correctly. I think I've been slacking lately and that's been my problem with the past few weeks I just got lazy. I think this is due to the fact that I don't have a vacation planned. Therefore I have very few financial goals outside of tuition and last time I checked school was not a vacation, but it's almost as expensive as one sometimes. On that note I'm back to my old self again, which I will say feels great.
Saturday. Saturday I had the opportunity to be really mean to someone so I took the liberty to bind their arms and whisper things in their ears. Which brings me to the question of..."How scary am I?" Personally I don't like being restrained so that's terrifying in itself, but I would be horrified if I was staring at myself whispering. So I suppose if I had a twin I would be scared of them is really what I'm getting to. Beyond that it was another flawless evening.
Sunday. Sunday POT LUCK SUNDAY! I was the only person to bring anything, which is fine, I think it's great if anyone brings something home cooked, that's really the important part that people aren't eating burgers. Sunday I realized that we have an influx of really stupid 19 year olds. All of whom I would love to hit in the face and if they continue to talk like idiots I just might. Or I will very politely remind them that no one in the locker room cares about their bedroom antics and they should save them to tell customers as that's more entertaining and apparently a selling point for some people.
On that note I suppose I will have to make it a goal this week to remind the 19 year olds to shut the fuck up. Especially the one that sounds like Fran from the nanny, she really makes me want to shut my head in a locker till the sound of her voice stops. It is in fact so annoying that the thought of it bothers me even when I'm not there.
Alright everyone have a great day and make good choices.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
I'm the girl your mother warned you about
I suppose I should preface this with I've been extra sensitive lately. I sort of had a large chunk of goo dropped on me by my mother which usually causes a disruption in the force for a few days.
There is a saying "You can't make a ho a housewife." I was having drinks with a friend of mine last night and we were lamenting the fact that I'm single. He turns to me from across my dining room table and to say "Bro nobody wants to marry a stripper" mind you I'm not in a relationship and in absolutely no rush to get married. He made a very good point. How exactly do you have a successful relationship with a stripper, let alone myself? I'm a hard lie to keep up, I'm a hard schedule to deal with. I eat at weird times, I sleep a lot. I know that I'm not alone in my schedule. I could be a bartender it could be the same only more socially acceptable and I would still be treated like a stripper by the same number of douche bags.
I also feel that he was right. I was engaged once for about 1 minute no joke it was one minute and I was told that what I did for a living would fuck up his future and how could they take me to any events. EXCUSE ME DUMBASS I'm a chameleon for a living I can talk about anything to anyone I would assume that this would make me more valuable, unfortunely in most cases I'm wrong.
I feel sometimes having had relationships while dancing that a lot of the fantasy that is portrayed in the club is expected to be transferred over to real life. Like, I'm suppose to party all the time, or it's expected that I'm unreliable (mind you sometimes I forget things but I'll be there if you need me), or that I am once again a "stupid stripper", I swear that, the stigma of this job is the hardest thing to shake, at moments it doesn't matter how much I study, or how good my grades are, or how many photo shoots I try to sneak into my spare time. It really might not be enough to prove that I could be a really great person. Let me rephrase UM I AM A REALLY GREAT PERSON. The unfortunate part is that any time I have been in a relationship their true feelings show through that they really would prefer it if I did just about anything besides this and I could keep my clothes on.
As for the making a ho a house wife, well you can't if your girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, ppaarrrtttty alllll the time, she probably will. Let me just state that I know how to have a good time but I don't want to party all the time, in fact I want to party rarely. It also doesn't take a stripper to be a ho. I have seen more woman at bars be completely degrading to themselves acting one million times dirtier than most strippers I know. Why do women do this to themselves they are giving the rest of us bad names. SERIOUSLY LADIES PUMP THE FUCKING BRAKES drink a pint of water or something.
So the question I pose to those of you married to stripper or ex strippers, or dating current or ex strippers. How the hell did you make it work? Or if you don't date one how do you think you would make it work?
There is a saying "You can't make a ho a housewife." I was having drinks with a friend of mine last night and we were lamenting the fact that I'm single. He turns to me from across my dining room table and to say "Bro nobody wants to marry a stripper" mind you I'm not in a relationship and in absolutely no rush to get married. He made a very good point. How exactly do you have a successful relationship with a stripper, let alone myself? I'm a hard lie to keep up, I'm a hard schedule to deal with. I eat at weird times, I sleep a lot. I know that I'm not alone in my schedule. I could be a bartender it could be the same only more socially acceptable and I would still be treated like a stripper by the same number of douche bags.
I also feel that he was right. I was engaged once for about 1 minute no joke it was one minute and I was told that what I did for a living would fuck up his future and how could they take me to any events. EXCUSE ME DUMBASS I'm a chameleon for a living I can talk about anything to anyone I would assume that this would make me more valuable, unfortunely in most cases I'm wrong.
I feel sometimes having had relationships while dancing that a lot of the fantasy that is portrayed in the club is expected to be transferred over to real life. Like, I'm suppose to party all the time, or it's expected that I'm unreliable (mind you sometimes I forget things but I'll be there if you need me), or that I am once again a "stupid stripper", I swear that, the stigma of this job is the hardest thing to shake, at moments it doesn't matter how much I study, or how good my grades are, or how many photo shoots I try to sneak into my spare time. It really might not be enough to prove that I could be a really great person. Let me rephrase UM I AM A REALLY GREAT PERSON. The unfortunate part is that any time I have been in a relationship their true feelings show through that they really would prefer it if I did just about anything besides this and I could keep my clothes on.
As for the making a ho a house wife, well you can't if your girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, ppaarrrtttty alllll the time, she probably will. Let me just state that I know how to have a good time but I don't want to party all the time, in fact I want to party rarely. It also doesn't take a stripper to be a ho. I have seen more woman at bars be completely degrading to themselves acting one million times dirtier than most strippers I know. Why do women do this to themselves they are giving the rest of us bad names. SERIOUSLY LADIES PUMP THE FUCKING BRAKES drink a pint of water or something.
So the question I pose to those of you married to stripper or ex strippers, or dating current or ex strippers. How the hell did you make it work? Or if you don't date one how do you think you would make it work?
Monday, December 12, 2011
Finals...
It's finals week. I'm in a straight panic about it. Im sure if you were to talk to me about it I wouldn't seem to stressed but I always stress about tests. I want a 4.0 and I know it's probably not going to happen this quarter. I've been really distracted with being ill and not ill as in reference to the beastie boys. As in actually ill.
Side note, I am sitting in a coffee shop listening to christmas carols.
Work has been well work like lately. It's been odd, it's been people saying no, and for no real reason. I think it's just the time of year. It is for this exact reason I do not spend every dollar I make and I make it a point to save. Just the other day I was reviewing one of the girls personal budgets. If I can say one thing to everyone out there. QUIT SMOKING IT WILL SAVE YOU COUNTLESS DOLLARS.
In other news I will be in Portland this weekend so don't come looking for me in Seattle.
I'm really hoping Portland is a little better than Seattle this weekend. I'm really having a hard time with this Seattle business. Not that it's really any of your business but it's been so unpredictable lately that I actually woke up and cried the other morning and considered moving. I feel that I must reiterate to you gentlemen that you happen to be in my FUCKING HOUSE so please be a gentleman because if you don't I will send one of you lucky men or women to the ER, I swear I really will, and it won't be pretty and it will hold up on my end in court because my dearies, if you break the law i'm just looking at self defense. So get it together lets all cheer up and quit being mean to each other.
Side note, I am sitting in a coffee shop listening to christmas carols.
Work has been well work like lately. It's been odd, it's been people saying no, and for no real reason. I think it's just the time of year. It is for this exact reason I do not spend every dollar I make and I make it a point to save. Just the other day I was reviewing one of the girls personal budgets. If I can say one thing to everyone out there. QUIT SMOKING IT WILL SAVE YOU COUNTLESS DOLLARS.
In other news I will be in Portland this weekend so don't come looking for me in Seattle.
I'm really hoping Portland is a little better than Seattle this weekend. I'm really having a hard time with this Seattle business. Not that it's really any of your business but it's been so unpredictable lately that I actually woke up and cried the other morning and considered moving. I feel that I must reiterate to you gentlemen that you happen to be in my FUCKING HOUSE so please be a gentleman because if you don't I will send one of you lucky men or women to the ER, I swear I really will, and it won't be pretty and it will hold up on my end in court because my dearies, if you break the law i'm just looking at self defense. So get it together lets all cheer up and quit being mean to each other.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Coming in hot!
First and foremost I would like to thank my canadian gift from the Stripper Deities the other week, you totally made my night. It was great to see you. More on him later just proof positive that social media works if you work it.
Anyway whew sorry about that everyone. I was in a suer dark place and just couldn't be public for a minute. Let's get back up to speed IM In SEATTLE fuck yes I'm home! I've never been happier holy fucking god am I happy. I mean I loved working in Chicago I loved the city it's just not for me right now and that's ok.
Having come back to the pnw I've been heading to pdx every other weekend so if you happen to be in the vicinity do swing buy and say hi.
Ok on to the good stuff I suppose. I'm taking the rest of the weekend off. I think it's time. For no real reason usually I take time off because I think I might actually hurt someone. I've been uber nice lately, as in people are commenting to me on how nice I have been. It's weird it's awesome to be this happy but I think it may be negatively impacting my business.
I realized last night that I have my target market down. No one has told me in quite some time that I am too smart to dance with. I suppose if they actually felt that way I should direct them here and they will be able to clearly see that I cannot punctuate to save my life.
Ok the dirt. Tonight I convince this little thug muffin that he wants a dance. For those of you that have had dances from me you know damn well I lay the rules out and I'm really into people following the rules. This little fuck head thought it would be appropriate to try and get his hand under my bra. First off you've obviously not had enough experience or you would know to go from the side not the bottom dipshit. Anyway I thought it would be in my best interest to hit him in the face. It wasn't even hard, we all know I can hit harder if I want to. He gets all butt hurt and says it was hard and chooses to tell a me that it's assault. Asked my why I didn't warn him. Me stat
Ing the rules in the beginning is your warning, I hope this is now clear to everyone. Excuse me, it apparently never occurred to this fuck face that touching me is sexual assault and i'm totally cool pressing charges. It unfortunately did not escalate to this point. He said he was going to call his lawyer, I told him he should and I would happily call mine. This ended up getting really heated. I told him he was incredibly rude he then told me he wasn't going to tip me. It was at this point I was highly offended, people rarely tip me anyway so I don't care but don't wave that shit over my head! So I shoved him into the wall told him I didn't fucking care if he paid me, and walked away. Sad part of the story he won the argument I should have made him pay me. I ended up walking myself out tonight which I will never do as I ran into him and 2 of his friends on the stairs luckily you take the heels off and throw on a coat I don't look like a stripper. It still seemed like I might get my ass kicked right then which would really ruin my day. Anyway I get in my car and start telling my driver about my night he offered to seriously come beat someone down for me someday. Which brought me to a very Important re-realization
The sex industry is seriously a pretty tight knit group and once you are in you are sort of in. We all watch out for each other, when we travel we visit clubs and throw money around. This crazy stripper world has seriously changed my perspective on the world, it has made it seem like a (mostly) more positive place, that there is always someone who has your back and is willing to help you, and I'm not solely referring to customers. It's the drivers, the bartenders, the door guys, the all night diners, your coworkers good management, strippers on Twitter, and those who truly love us and don't judge us that makes this world and my life so fucking amazing.
Anyway whew sorry about that everyone. I was in a suer dark place and just couldn't be public for a minute. Let's get back up to speed IM In SEATTLE fuck yes I'm home! I've never been happier holy fucking god am I happy. I mean I loved working in Chicago I loved the city it's just not for me right now and that's ok.
Having come back to the pnw I've been heading to pdx every other weekend so if you happen to be in the vicinity do swing buy and say hi.
Ok on to the good stuff I suppose. I'm taking the rest of the weekend off. I think it's time. For no real reason usually I take time off because I think I might actually hurt someone. I've been uber nice lately, as in people are commenting to me on how nice I have been. It's weird it's awesome to be this happy but I think it may be negatively impacting my business.
I realized last night that I have my target market down. No one has told me in quite some time that I am too smart to dance with. I suppose if they actually felt that way I should direct them here and they will be able to clearly see that I cannot punctuate to save my life.
Ok the dirt. Tonight I convince this little thug muffin that he wants a dance. For those of you that have had dances from me you know damn well I lay the rules out and I'm really into people following the rules. This little fuck head thought it would be appropriate to try and get his hand under my bra. First off you've obviously not had enough experience or you would know to go from the side not the bottom dipshit. Anyway I thought it would be in my best interest to hit him in the face. It wasn't even hard, we all know I can hit harder if I want to. He gets all butt hurt and says it was hard and chooses to tell a me that it's assault. Asked my why I didn't warn him. Me stat
Ing the rules in the beginning is your warning, I hope this is now clear to everyone. Excuse me, it apparently never occurred to this fuck face that touching me is sexual assault and i'm totally cool pressing charges. It unfortunately did not escalate to this point. He said he was going to call his lawyer, I told him he should and I would happily call mine. This ended up getting really heated. I told him he was incredibly rude he then told me he wasn't going to tip me. It was at this point I was highly offended, people rarely tip me anyway so I don't care but don't wave that shit over my head! So I shoved him into the wall told him I didn't fucking care if he paid me, and walked away. Sad part of the story he won the argument I should have made him pay me. I ended up walking myself out tonight which I will never do as I ran into him and 2 of his friends on the stairs luckily you take the heels off and throw on a coat I don't look like a stripper. It still seemed like I might get my ass kicked right then which would really ruin my day. Anyway I get in my car and start telling my driver about my night he offered to seriously come beat someone down for me someday. Which brought me to a very Important re-realization
The sex industry is seriously a pretty tight knit group and once you are in you are sort of in. We all watch out for each other, when we travel we visit clubs and throw money around. This crazy stripper world has seriously changed my perspective on the world, it has made it seem like a (mostly) more positive place, that there is always someone who has your back and is willing to help you, and I'm not solely referring to customers. It's the drivers, the bartenders, the door guys, the all night diners, your coworkers good management, strippers on Twitter, and those who truly love us and don't judge us that makes this world and my life so fucking amazing.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
PDX
As you know I went to PDX last weekend. It was a whirlwind of a trip, more on the personal level than anything else. I went down I did my thing I rocked the hustle, because I'm a hustler baby. My hustle was a normal NW hustle nothing special it didn't rain money from the sky like it does in Chicago. Just some good old fashion NW style, or should I say Union Jacks style, it was so nice to not have to wear a dress. Even though I bought a new dress while I was there, and a pair of shoes, because holy cow the shoes I wear now make my feet hurt so bad I don't think I can work. It sounds silly but if my feet hurt it makes me so tired. I'm sure it's because I would rather army crawl on the floor then walk around in those fucking monsters all night. Although they are very pretty I just can't do it. So new shoes for me. WITH NO SALES TAX! YAY!
Speaking of Chicago, this will be my last week here (So much for buying new dresses). I will be back in the NW permenantly as much as I love it here and as much as I want to stay I think the NW is calling me back for right now.
I need to refocus...again...Focus on school and finally finishing something. I'm sure school and being home and going back to traveling back and forth will create all kinds of fodder for this little blog. I also think having something stable and more sane than Chicago will help. I think it will be nice to be back among women that actually give a shit, rather than the fucking bimbos I work with here. Also even though there are dead bodies from previous relationships all over Seattle, at least there isn't a vampire like woman watching my every move unlike here. DID YOU HEAR ME VAMPY LADY! I'M WATCHING YOU WATCHING ME WATCHING YOU! Not really I'm a little no narcissistic to watch anyone but myself.
So it's back to Seattle I go. I can't wait to see all of you.
Speaking of Chicago, this will be my last week here (So much for buying new dresses). I will be back in the NW permenantly as much as I love it here and as much as I want to stay I think the NW is calling me back for right now.
I need to refocus...again...Focus on school and finally finishing something. I'm sure school and being home and going back to traveling back and forth will create all kinds of fodder for this little blog. I also think having something stable and more sane than Chicago will help. I think it will be nice to be back among women that actually give a shit, rather than the fucking bimbos I work with here. Also even though there are dead bodies from previous relationships all over Seattle, at least there isn't a vampire like woman watching my every move unlike here. DID YOU HEAR ME VAMPY LADY! I'M WATCHING YOU WATCHING ME WATCHING YOU! Not really I'm a little no narcissistic to watch anyone but myself.
So it's back to Seattle I go. I can't wait to see all of you.
Friday, July 29, 2011
the man the myth
the go fuck yourself... yup that's right I said it. I'm not into you. So stop trying to take me home you fuck, I don't care how big your dick is, you don't have the money and I really don't have the time. Another day in the life of Red.
It all started out cheery tonight, I went in with a great attitude because last night was amazing, I returned someones wallet without even opening it, that's a pretty big deal if you ask me. So here I am thinking tonight is going to be even better, and it starts out great with some private wealth management dude just paying me to talk to him. Odd as we were talking about the debt ceiling. I love those guys! As soon as I get up to go hustle it's like a fucking storm happens.
EVERY GOD DAMN PERSON TELLS ME NO! I was like are you serious? Really tonight? You are going to tell me no. Do I look fat or something? No no I do not, how do I know some super crazy muscle dude who could literally bench me with one arm tells me I look super solid and that I must work out a ton. It was just a jacked up night. Everyone but me was making millions. WHATEVER!
Then I had the end of the night douche canoe get a champagne room try to get me to go home with him. GAH when will you kids ever learn that unless you have goo gobs of money I'm not going anywhere.
Thanks.
It all started out cheery tonight, I went in with a great attitude because last night was amazing, I returned someones wallet without even opening it, that's a pretty big deal if you ask me. So here I am thinking tonight is going to be even better, and it starts out great with some private wealth management dude just paying me to talk to him. Odd as we were talking about the debt ceiling. I love those guys! As soon as I get up to go hustle it's like a fucking storm happens.
EVERY GOD DAMN PERSON TELLS ME NO! I was like are you serious? Really tonight? You are going to tell me no. Do I look fat or something? No no I do not, how do I know some super crazy muscle dude who could literally bench me with one arm tells me I look super solid and that I must work out a ton. It was just a jacked up night. Everyone but me was making millions. WHATEVER!
Then I had the end of the night douche canoe get a champagne room try to get me to go home with him. GAH when will you kids ever learn that unless you have goo gobs of money I'm not going anywhere.
Thanks.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Short stories
I sit down on a man's lap one night, he claims to be a physician, as he asks me about my boobs. Then he proceeds to bounce me on his lap and say boingy, boingy, boingy, I walk away. Dumbass.
It's my last night at work in Seattle, I decide to dance with someone I would not normally dance with, knowing full well they are going to try and touch me (those of you in the know, know it's a bad idea). He trys to touch me. I get up to tell him he's a douche canoe, he stands up to counter me. I slam him against the wall and not so nicely explain to him that I'm not a fucking prostitute and I won't go to jail for him and I don't give a fuck if he's a programmer he doesn't have enough money to even get close to me. This is when Cam walks over and has her shoe raised to hit him. I love teamwork.
You know we are going to fight when we take our shoes off those things are damn weapons.
One night, also in Seattle a gentleman decides he wants to sit on my stage, I kick him off. He then proceeds to stand up and taunt me. I kicked him in the chest, there may have been blood, last time I checked that shit was a biohazard. Biohazard is a word you can't really argue with, it's like I don't care what happened he has to go.
Every time I take my clothes off I'm told I have a great body, every time I laugh on the inside.
Also just for the record, what I'm really thinking about when I give a dance is...god I hope my shoes don't break. Does this dude realize how hard this is to do in heels? I wonder if he cares that I'm sweating my ass off, followed by hypercrush lyrics..."If the club gets hot then air it out" All the things I should have done that day. Most importantly HOW THE FUCK DO I SELL CHAMPAGNE ROOMS, BECAUSE THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER IF THERE WERE FOOD AND DRINKS!
It's my last night at work in Seattle, I decide to dance with someone I would not normally dance with, knowing full well they are going to try and touch me (those of you in the know, know it's a bad idea). He trys to touch me. I get up to tell him he's a douche canoe, he stands up to counter me. I slam him against the wall and not so nicely explain to him that I'm not a fucking prostitute and I won't go to jail for him and I don't give a fuck if he's a programmer he doesn't have enough money to even get close to me. This is when Cam walks over and has her shoe raised to hit him. I love teamwork.
You know we are going to fight when we take our shoes off those things are damn weapons.
One night, also in Seattle a gentleman decides he wants to sit on my stage, I kick him off. He then proceeds to stand up and taunt me. I kicked him in the chest, there may have been blood, last time I checked that shit was a biohazard. Biohazard is a word you can't really argue with, it's like I don't care what happened he has to go.
Every time I take my clothes off I'm told I have a great body, every time I laugh on the inside.
Also just for the record, what I'm really thinking about when I give a dance is...god I hope my shoes don't break. Does this dude realize how hard this is to do in heels? I wonder if he cares that I'm sweating my ass off, followed by hypercrush lyrics..."If the club gets hot then air it out" All the things I should have done that day. Most importantly HOW THE FUCK DO I SELL CHAMPAGNE ROOMS, BECAUSE THIS WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER IF THERE WERE FOOD AND DRINKS!
Monday, July 25, 2011
Plastic guy
Before we begin, privacy settings are awesome! It's like the new way to avoid people I have no idea why I have never thought to customize them before. LIFE IS SO MUCH BETTER! OH MY GOD LIKE WEIGHT OFF MY SHOULDERS I NEVER HAVE TO LOOK AT THEM AND THEY NEVER HAVE TO LOOK AT ME! FUCK YES!
There was a gentleman that came in the other night, I'm going to call him plastic guy. He is a chemical engineer that creates plastics. He was hilarious. I find two kinds of patrons to be absolutely hilarious. Chemists and Patent Attorneys. Some times I find the Finance folk funny but their humor is few and far between. Anyway Plastic guy is hilarious, he kept going on and on about water bottles, and what a waste they are, and how that's basically all landfills are made of. Which started me thinking about the fact that bottled water is a luxury (one that I personally enjoy, but I do prefer it out of glass) and the fact that golf courses are built on landfills. It's funny the way things work.
So plastic guy only bought a couple of dances but he was so nice, and hilarious. I have strangely enjoyed having a new client base in Chicago.
At the same time I can't wait to go back to seattle and see my old peeps.
There was a gentleman that came in the other night, I'm going to call him plastic guy. He is a chemical engineer that creates plastics. He was hilarious. I find two kinds of patrons to be absolutely hilarious. Chemists and Patent Attorneys. Some times I find the Finance folk funny but their humor is few and far between. Anyway Plastic guy is hilarious, he kept going on and on about water bottles, and what a waste they are, and how that's basically all landfills are made of. Which started me thinking about the fact that bottled water is a luxury (one that I personally enjoy, but I do prefer it out of glass) and the fact that golf courses are built on landfills. It's funny the way things work.
So plastic guy only bought a couple of dances but he was so nice, and hilarious. I have strangely enjoyed having a new client base in Chicago.
At the same time I can't wait to go back to seattle and see my old peeps.
Friday, October 1, 2010
It's just one of those days
It was a day, it happened, it was everything and nothing all at once.
I'm so distracted today. Everything was readable on my face at work, typically I can turn it off, I can be someone else, at the same time I am always myself, I don't see the point in faking a personality, it's to hard, I am who I am. I suppose the story that goes with this is about amateur night, which was tonight, usually I like it pretty well, it reminds me of my first day of work, which was so damn scary, I was so deer in the headlights. I also thought I was the hottest shit. Anyway, tonight was attack of the fat white girls who move to fast (like most amateurs) it's not the moving to fast that ruins it, it's the lack of thought that they put into there look, if you are coming in to basically audition I feel like you should maybe leave your ugly glasses at home (Sorry it's so rare that I do serious trash talking.) One of the girls I work with walked up to me in the back, and told me she could see it in my face, that all I was thinking was what the fuck, she then said I would hate to see that face when she was on stage. She's right, I have a terrible "this is stupid face" It was actually such a surreal moment when this one girl looked at me with her triangle hair and her bad oval glasses and bad satin victoria secret thong, that I had to leave the front row and go to the back. Typically I like being right up front for thursday nights, or I like sitting with the judges, I think it's super fun. Blah, Blah, Blah. Then this girl that I really loved having around was let go tonight, that was one of the many kickers of my night. She had a great attitude and she had good ideas, she worked well with others, it just sucks to see girls go.
I'm so distracted today. Everything was readable on my face at work, typically I can turn it off, I can be someone else, at the same time I am always myself, I don't see the point in faking a personality, it's to hard, I am who I am. I suppose the story that goes with this is about amateur night, which was tonight, usually I like it pretty well, it reminds me of my first day of work, which was so damn scary, I was so deer in the headlights. I also thought I was the hottest shit. Anyway, tonight was attack of the fat white girls who move to fast (like most amateurs) it's not the moving to fast that ruins it, it's the lack of thought that they put into there look, if you are coming in to basically audition I feel like you should maybe leave your ugly glasses at home (Sorry it's so rare that I do serious trash talking.) One of the girls I work with walked up to me in the back, and told me she could see it in my face, that all I was thinking was what the fuck, she then said I would hate to see that face when she was on stage. She's right, I have a terrible "this is stupid face" It was actually such a surreal moment when this one girl looked at me with her triangle hair and her bad oval glasses and bad satin victoria secret thong, that I had to leave the front row and go to the back. Typically I like being right up front for thursday nights, or I like sitting with the judges, I think it's super fun. Blah, Blah, Blah. Then this girl that I really loved having around was let go tonight, that was one of the many kickers of my night. She had a great attitude and she had good ideas, she worked well with others, it just sucks to see girls go.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)