I have 15 minutes to write this post so don't expect much out of punctuation and or grammar.
I promised a post of where I have been for the past ohh lets see about 6 months. I'm sure some of you have made stipulations on where I am and what I'm doing. I'm still in Seattle and I'm still at Little Darlings. Lets start with the good things that have happened before I go over the things that have really been consuming my time, and brain, and writing ability.
So there is a poster of me up at work, that's exciting, I just shot a couple new ones for a fetish night runway show we are having so you all should come by, I mean really I'll keep you posted as to when it is.
I returned to the land of the living with a day job...which I feel like I'm failing at but considering the rest of what's happening in my life I'm surprised i'm even getting out of bed. That would be more normal.
Lets start with the easy stuff...my ex came in drunk and said he made a mistake by breaking up with me and didn't want to get married.
Havie got fired, and I miss her dearly.
I made a collage of just about everyone in the club and had it on the back wall in the locker room and someone ripped down have of it there were two people there at morning and one of them was there on their own for hours. Lets call her Petty. I thought petty had ripped off the bottom half of this collage and I swear I had asked her if she had done it and said she hadn't the only other girl there was Nay. I called Nay up since she wasn't there at that moment and she said she wasn't the one that did it. I believed her as she and I were not having any issues where as Petty was being Petty about just about everything, that I gave her a one word answer to a question. So I start putting things together in my head also the special tape I used on the photos was stuck to the floor in front of her locker...so I thought what would petty do, she would cut my lock and explain it to me later...So I decided to cut her lock like a fucking idiot, I also said I would put my lock on her locker so none of her things would end up missing.
So as I go to cut this lock I swear to whatever higher power you believe in that it just popped open so I thought well I might as well just check as long as I'm here and it's open low and behold I did not find the wall of photos. Half wall really. The next day she text me. I had intended on telling her in person. I admitted imidiately that I had done it. She didn't have to trick me into saying anything, I happily admitted it assuming we were close enough friends that she would understand, anyway this.
While all this is happening CO thinks I'm trying to steal her customers, and sides with Petty so someone who called me their best friend turned on me so fast it almost gave me whiplash.
It started a chain of unfortunate events that I could not stop. I started traveling a lot for my other job and wasn't home enough so my dogsitter started selling my things, thousands of dollars of things, things I can't replace things like my grandmothers jewelry, although I don't even care about it, any of it because it just get so much worse.
I left for NYC and on wednesday I ended up with a strange feeling something was going on and thursday night I was so excited to leave friday. I had checked up on my dog and the sitter said she was okay. I had been worried since she had been six a couple weeks before that. I get home saturday night and walk in and my dogsitter told me that my dog was dead. Her narcropsy came back and said she had been dead for about 3 days before I brought her in. He didn't even close her eyes. He had taken her out on a very hot day and played too hard with her and closed her in my room in her crate with no air. He totally neglected her. It took her up to an hour to pass, so he let her suffer as well and then did nothing didn't call nothing. He just fucking left her. Her death was totally preventable.
I literally don't remember the week following, what I said what I did anything. I wanted so badly to disappear forever.
As I'm hiding out I find out that he had also written checks out of my check-book...wait, wait, wait, it gets better. As a paycheck is landing in my account, and I'm so excited to be an adult and pay my rent I check my bank account just to be sure and it's virtually empty. Some checks from a totally different person than me has forged checks to my account and wiped it out...Perfect.
I just remember getting a text from a number I don't know and all it said was KARMA
So I'm sure there are some of you reading this laughing, saying that I deserve it for whatever I have done to you in the past. Fine, I am happy you are enjoying watching the fall, the silver lining of all of this is, I have discovered who my true friends are, who is actually in my life. Also I have discovered the bitch I used to be and I'm really losing my fear of offending people. Bad things happen, they happen all the time it's a matter of how you deal with them and I'm getting out of bed every day so I'd say that I still have a fighting chance of coming back from yet another tragic life event in the past two years. Those of you following along know the past two years have been a struggle a real life fucking struggle and I wouldn't repeat them if you paid me however I now would repeat every day with a smile if I knew that it would bring my dog back for even an hour. I would literally go through all the bullshit again just for an hour with her.
So, I'm back online, I'm writing, and I'm auctioning off some posters all of the money will be donated either to a drug rehab program or a bulldog rescue service. I know I've asked for help in the past from people, and you all have been so gracious in helping me, however this time in order to avoid burning any bridges I'm going to attempt to do this on my own. Being angry and broke is keeping me pretty motivated.
