Male Strippers...and some fucking douchbag...and all the good things people say.

Sometimes we find solace in those similar to us. Every night lately someone has reminded me of who I was over a year ago, that I'm great, and that I'm going to be just fine when this is all over.

Disclaimer I really would like to go to bed so please excuse all typing and grammer errors.

Lets start with the bad, everyone sucked tonight. So fucking rude. One fucktard specifically had me pretty unhappy. I approached him and his friends, his friend invited me to sit on the chair that this dumbass had his feet resting on. He was a little upset when I sat on it and started bitching about how I took his chair. I told him I owned all the chairs, because the amount of money I pay a month covers I think the clubs lease, so I think over a couple of years I have paid for everything in there. Anyway he invited me to sit on his lap to chat so I did (because that's how we roll up here) as I was trying not to eat shit in my huge as shoes he grabbed me to "help" me (worst idea ever) which I informed him made me less stable and more likely to fall. Okay finally seated. We start talking and he's like "oh you should come back to our party bus" I said I hope you have 100k to which he replies, I'm not asking you to strip I'm asking you to hang out and have a good time and I said yeah, so, it's still 100k. He said "I don't pay for things" to which I replied "How do you buy groceries?" he of course said with money and the same to movies, and other forms of entertainment. SO I asked then why would you not pay me for entertaining you? He said because I don't have to I mean your sitting here on my lap and we are having fun...and then the fucker started to bounce me. BOUNCING IS ONE OF MY LEAST FAVE THINGS. I'M NOT A CHILD YOU CREEPY FUCK. PS, I was not having fun. I think it's super degrading and insulting to bounce grown women. So I said, okay you obviously have never taken an economics class and have no idea about how the money system works. There is a monetary exchange that happens for entertainment regardless of wether or not you go home and jack off, you pay for porn and it's the same thing sort of and there is something to be said about warm bodies especially mine because in the real world you don't have a chance. What is it that you do? he is an electrician. I asked him if he would rewire my apartment for free. He of course said no, and at this point was pretty embarrassed and called himself an idiot I was in two deep, and I couldn't stop, it's like as soon as I insult someone for something really horrible like not having common sense I can't stop especially after the have insulted me. Time passes and he and his horrible group are leaving and he comes up to me for one more shot. As he was leaving I said "You know besides not really being my type, I really don't waste my time on men who can't hold and intelligent conversation, I'm happy to recommend some reading to you if you like" He left. I know this is totally hypocritical as my grammer is horrible when write, but whatever, I was mad.

ON TO THE GOOD STUFF, THE STUFF THAT MADE ALL MY NIGHTS FOR THE PAST FEW DAYS.

Tonight a super athletic ex male stripper came in apparently he met me at dreamgirls a while ago and was in LD's tonight just randomly, he claimed he doesn't go to stripclubs often, I'll believe that. It's odd that someone else in the industry can make everything seem so much better, he's successful, happy motivating, and has a similar love of fitness as Semi, and a similar build, height included. I need a nick name for him, Oak. He compared his legs to oak trees. So oak has neck tattoos, and liked me for my new septum piercing, and the fact that I have a brain and I use it to communicate effectively with those around me. This has been the thing lately. People have been pretty into the organ in my head. I've quit changing the pith of my voice at work and trying to come off as flirty and gone back to being myself, or as much of myself as I can be at work, it's working out well. Anyway there was something about talking to oak that really made me feel better. I've been doing a lot of soul searching lately and I've had a lot on my mind particularly a friend of mine who has been going though a rough battle with themselves for a while, I'm at a lose for how to help them. I know you can't help someone who doesn't want help, but they seem to want help and then they don't, it's getting a little confusing. More on Minnesota later.

Later tonight an old client came in who I haven't seen in who the hell knows how long, who kept going on and on, on who i've gotten hotter, I'm in better shape, I talk different, I've gotten sharper. He was pretty hung up on the idea of a new and improved me.

I'm quickly running out of time, the sun is about to come up, I feel like a fucking vampire in the summer here, going to bed when the sun is coming up is horrible, especially because I'm suppose to be heading up to whidby for the day tomorrow.

Wednesday night was the crazy vip room night of 3 strippers and 3 dudes, on fucking drunk dude who could not get the word no through his head with the two other girls. I think there is something about me that people take pretty seriously when I say no. I might be that I'm not stick thin. Or the fact that I don't have horrible hair extension, smell like booze and cigarettes and can barely keep my eyes open. Anywho the leader of this group chose the aforementioned girl, the drunk fucker took tiger and the totally tame awesome conversationalist ended up with me, and everything was great...then we all switched and I had the super drunk dude, who wanted me to go away as quickly as possible because I'm not fun. I fucking hate drunk people, so fucking rude. I ended up with the leader and he ended up saying that he liked me best not because I was pretty but because I stood up for myself I didn't bend the rules and I could hold a conversation.

The thing everyone has had in common is they have said I'm too good for this job, I'm just too good for it. I love my job, and I like that people feel this way, I think it helps people understand that this job isn't my forever it's just my for right now, it's means to an end, I mean, a means that I enjoy, but I will be so glad when this is all over and all i have is this blog to look back on.

On that note. I'm going the fuck to bed.

Monetizing the blog?????

Hey Readers,
I know this is fun because it's ad free and all and it's probably really nice to to be hit in the face with a banner for weight watchers (damn that vita mix recipe search). But I'm curious, if I were to add ad's would you still read? Do you think you would click on them or would you be pissed that I bowed down to the man because I am a stripper and sometimes I do want to make some money, because well that's what I do. Or would ya'll be happier with something else...Like buying my underwear, or something.
What can I say, I'm just working on always hustling, so if you have any input I really want to hear it, because I want you to stay right where you are and keep reading this.

Thanks!
-RED

waiting...

I'm waiting to fall asleep...because I have so much studying to do I think I should just wake up in the morning and do it.
I'm waiting for a phone call...6 hours later, it's safe to assume that phone call is not coming.
I'm waiting to get over this anxiety...of finals, and not knowing, and feeling uncertain, and the feeling of anxiety that comes with not feeling incredibly stable.
I'm waiting to be better...to be better, to be a better person, that can handle situations better. I felt I was doing so good, I hadn't lost my temper, but apparently tears make one seem unstable and not worth working with.
I'm waiting to go running...because it's finals and I need to study and I need to sleep, and i need to run, because I have a race. I need more time in the day.
I'm waiting for my future...because the present is crushing me.
I'm waiting for the sun...because god dammit i'm fucking tired of the rain and the gloom and the feeling of clouds.
I'm dreading the winter. Please see above.
I dread the time it will take for me to finish this degree, because I feel like I haven't accomplished anything in the time I've been in school.
I dread a piece of the future that feels like a small chunk of porcline being thrown at a car window. Something so small, and so insignificant but at the same time it's going to shatter my world, and I'm going to have to wait for it to repair.
I'm waiting to quit this job, even though I know that it will be a long time till I make money like this. Maybe my best friend was right maybe I should live frugally and save so I can have something to remember this by in the future. At the same time I think what if I never make any money again. What if this, these years are the best my life will ever be and I don't enjoy them because I'm waiting.
I'm waiting for the right one to catch my drift. I was reminded this week of Charlotte york in a satc episode where she says something along the lines of "I've been dating for 15 years where is he" and I wondered if I had let him go, or maybe if this job and my promise to myself to stay single while I do this is really doing damage. I wouldn't wish dating a stripper on anyone, not ever so I know it's my own fault but damn I am fucking lonely.
I combat the idea of being so damaged that I'm not enough for someone everyday with "I go to school, I work, I run, I have a dog, I pay my own way...always...even to a fault...and I did on dates when I went on them, I always paid" lately though the idea of being damaged goods has come up so often that I'm almost wondering if it's true. I wonder if my lack of ability to work with someone totally insane on a group project is really so horrible. A friend told me I hate women. I don't hate women. I really like them. I wish I had more female friends I just don't have time. There will be more on the crazy woman I had to work with later. Something tells me to get the fuck out of bed everyday, and it's not just a baby dog. Apparently I still hope that eventually someday, someone will get me, but until that day, god dammit stripping is a lonely job.

If it's unclear I'm feeling a little down, it will all pass over soon enough so no one panic I swear I'm fine I just wanted to complain a little bit.