I was talking to a friend of mine about this blog

So I was talking to a friend i've had for a long time about this blog, and she brought up that it was great, and I know i've writtent this a hundred timed "i'm coming back to writing I promise" well...I have once again learned that promises are worth the paper they are written on. Let me tell you I can never find a pen. So she recommeded using this like a journal which i have wanted to do for a long time. However, truth be told, there are a few people in who still check in on social media to let me know that they are around that I don't really want knowing all the details of my life. At the same time can I live in fear forever? I mean i can, but the world is missing out on my voice and my potenial vibrator reviews. Do you all remember when i was going to do that? Anyway...lets dive in...

So tonight, i was having a really hard time motivating myself to go to the club, lately it's been really easy for me to find the negative in myself. The gives no fucks, take action ask questions later Red has been...uhhhh...well im not sure, but she's around but not really with the same tenacity as before. Anyway I arrive at work, great, sure, fine, fun. It's so nice to see everyone as it always is, this job brings me so much joy, and confidence. I walked in and was told right away how gorgeous i was from the other girls. I miss all of them in my square bear life. Thank the stripper gods one of my good friends i work with is ex-stripper makes the whole thing easier...So I start to make my rounds, and i'ts not great. The clubs in 2024 are dead af...like fr fr. Which is fine, this industry is all ebbs and flows. Someday i will write a program that makes it easier for girls to track the type of guys they attrack and build thenselves a profile to look out for on slow nights.

I walked up to this group of guys on stage left, normally i don't fuck with dudes who sit there they always tell me no. I don't know why it's just what they do. These boys i walk up to, and crouch down like gollum (which means i'm really flexible i would like to see any of you do this for an extended period of time). It turns out the boy i start to talk to is french. WOW such fate. My french is terrible but i have a 275 day streak on duolingo. So I try to spark a conversation this this man which starts with "can you tell me how to say...I want you to lick my balls in french". let me just say I think if i wan to learn french in the way I want to speak it I need to watch more adult films and tv and what not. Beacause boy howdy did i learn how to say many things. Do i remember them "putain non" but did this boy whisper some things he didn't think were okay to say in public in my ear. ABSOLUTELY! I had a great time, sometimes lately it feels like it always has. That I'm just along for the experiance and the ride.

That being said I'm going to TRY, TRY, TRy to write more, but as it's been brought to my attention lately, i'm horrible at follow through, so i guess lets just stick around at find out.

For all the keyboard junkies, hackers, programmers, software engineers, architects etc...out their following my saga...I was going to school, then that school killed their nights and weekends program, and their self study. So now i've started somewhere else, and i've started from the beginning. i know i should put some fancy html in here, but that's never been the vibe of this blog. Except for that one time i put a cassette tape in the middle of the page that was MIND BLOWINGLY BRILLIANT. But stick around, i promise you as per usual I will make coding my bitch.

I thought I would post though covid...but I didn't..I'm not going to put an pressure on me to post these days, I'm just going to post.

I did not proofread this I'm trying to go back to school for tech right now. I also have a part time job to try to slow the hemoraging of money to a slow bleed. It's strange being back in a day job, but it's kind of nice, my co-workers are nice but can be passive agressive as can I. Some days I can get into the groove of thing and write for the sake of writitng a sex worker trying to find her way in this time. I'm tying to go back to school for coding right now, as i'm sure some oof you know ai went for acoounting and then my mother's cancer came back and I had to drop out of school... you know I don't want to do the tradgedy recap. i just want to write about how things where, how I whope they will be and my hopes and dreams on the way there. Right now i'm trying to go back to school for coding. Why? Because I want to learn how to do it, much like accounting i didn't understand it very well, and I was/am determine to know. I don't like admitting defeat...and I wasn't about to with account, or algebra, or really anything and I'm not about to do it with programming so if anyone has any tips for python or videos, or wants to tutor me reach out on here and I will get back to you. Just leave it in a comment and we will go from there. The problem is when covid started I turned in an applicatina and the last little bit i ruined I also know that getting in on your first chance in next to impossible so I'm truly hoping by the end of this I know as they said if you didn't have an answer by then it's basically a no. This issue with this is I don't have my locker room to fall back on, and my girls. I don't have girls reminding me every day what a bad ass I am. I miss dancing so much and I need a subsitute for it, and I can't find one at the moment. I applied to a school that has something like tha for thier mission statement but they denied me last round and I fear they will this round. UHHHHHH covid has mede me so meek and questioning. I hope that tomorrow I wake up and things are different. That I can remember who I am. In the mean time sit tight I promise these wont all be so said. Truly if you code and want to help a ho out, please reach out.

Still Here

Just changing a few things in my world. I have so many things I want to say, and I'm writing about in my spare time. Or thinking about a podcast, or youtube channel...the world needs to know that sex workers exist, and that we are real people. That sex workers are not the scum of the earth, we are not trying to ruin lives in face we are trying to improve them.

Honestly...on honest about honestly not writing

Whew dusting off the keyboard over here. Really and truly...I couldn't find my charger, then my computer needed an update. All this for one tiny post in the new year from your favorite Seattle Stripper. So much has happened in the past what half a year since I've written anything. I did another podcast but not for the Migscast. Although I love those guys and would love to see them again. This one even has a video of me so if you want to hear me being far to shrill look it up. I suppose everyone hates the sound of their own voice so whatever. I told myself in the new year I was going to make myself write. I feel like most of my posts at this point are about that. I never do it. This time I am. I need to start winding down after work a little differently. I mean I've watched everything on netfilx at this point so it's time to actually be productive, do more writing and more reading. Lately with books I have this problem if I really like them. I don't really want them to finish so I stop reading them when I get too close to the end. I mean really how much more ridiculous could I get. That being said any good book recommendations I'll take them. Oh one big major change in my life that affects all of you. I've moved clubs so if you are in Seattle on the weekend come by Deja vu Showgirls in the Market. I love this club. It's got a way better vibe, it's got way less drama than little darlings. Management is actually sane, and fair. Also I finally paid off my backrent at ld's and as soon as I did jr. had the balls to say to me "enjoy it for the day you have it, because we will charge you more don't worry" why would you say that. All the more reason for me to end my contract there right now. Like my forever contract. Really I should head back to Portland also things I say every time I write. Although I don't know if that's even a possibility since my ex bestfriend has made that her home and I really don't feel like dealing with allllll that right now because she is not the nicest person and shes easily pissed off. However looking at her social media it looks like shes doing well down there so I should probably head down and see whats going on. Last time I spoke to her it was still cracking down there. So I guess Feb is when I'm going to try and head down and see what I can do. Although since my bike was stolen (should anyone want to buy me a very small frame of the either 2007 or 2008 bianchi eros donna in acid green, not bianchi green acid although they also made it in pink, I would totally accept pink, I wouldn't be mad at all) ( yes that happened too someone stole my bike out of our "secure" bike parking, and my apartment manager told me I never should have parked it down there when I asked her when I first moved in if it was safe and she said it was secure and refused to do anything about it) it makes getting around Portland a little bit harder, although maybe that will be my goal for the month, save up money for rent (obviously), hotel in Portland, and a new to me but old to everyone else bicycle. Seems strippery enough right... Anyway that's enough boring you for now. I have to get ready since I promised myself I would go in early tonight since the last few nights have been lackluster. Also if you want to hear jokes from your fave and most attractive, but not to into themselves stripper tonight or the rest of the weekend...you know where to find me.

Abandon ship....

That's basically what I'm doing with little darlings at the moment. I've spent two Saturdays at showgirls as of late and it has been amazing. I've been able to be myself. I've been able to make money, which is awesome. Also everyone is incredibly nice. It's be absolutely amazing. So please feel free to come down on Saturdays and see me. I'm not sure about next weekend so a friendly face would be nice. Also I've just been killing it, and having fun with customers, although some of them are a little more bro-ish and I have yet to figure out how to deal with that crowd. Although I've found the crowd to be more diverse and also a little more to my personal taste. It's also nice since the entire club is run by women, and there was an incident at little darlings last week that I still haven't talked about...Don't worry it's coming and the story my L look like an angle and N look like the biggest jerk in the world. I'm so much happier at showgirls, the dances are out in the open they can see if you are dancing so there is no way you can be over marked unlike N's idea which is "if she walked back there and I didn't see her she was giving a dance" when everyone knows you don't start in the middle of a song. Also showgirls has their pricing together, it's not dirty, it's just an all around better environment and even though I get stressed out going. Once I'm there I'd so much rather be there than anywhere else. K and W are amazing managers and I love working with them, they are fucking amazing, the dj is the same and still super nice, and kinda goofy, the bathroom holy fucking shit even though the bottom part of the door is cut off and that legit so someone doesn't hog it, has a mechanism to keep it closed you don't need a trash can, it's amazing, part of me wants to cancel my contract at ld's and just work gamedays and dreamgirls and the rest of the days at showgirls. Little darlings is a sinking ship, and although it's been my home for many years and provides me with endless entertainment I think it's time to jump ship so my last year-months-weeks, can be productive and actually pleasant, not worrying about if I can make house rent, or anything like that which I worry about every single night at little darlings. Lately, one day a weekend being good has been carrying my weeks, so all my bills, groceries, any stupid little thing I buy that I shouldn't since it's only one good night, my rent, it's crazy...a stripper should never live like that. We didn't sign up to be broke ass bitches. I know some of you are going to say, "if you aint making money, you aint made to be a stripper", and that's not the problem, the problem is Little Darlings itself. So that being said I'm going to try to be more active on social media and let you all know where I am. Thanks everyone as always.

dating a stripper

This is one of my favorite topics it's also click bait...sorry everyone. Okay have you heard the saying don't shit where you eat. That stands double in a strip club. If you work in a club don't date your coworkers...it's already hard enough making friends. I'm lucky that I work at a club where It's not hard to make friends and friends you can trust at that. Anyway dating strippers...you can do it if you work there because you understand the business and if you don't mind then you are fine...however... However if you are new and you happen to find yourself as one of the males dating one of the more prominent strippers who's been around for a while and has a reputation for a bad temper it might be best to be polite...hold open doors. Don't automatically sit in the front seat. Don't dj your girlfriends sets with music they would never ever, ever listen to...play for the dancer and the crowd. Be polite. Maybe don't talk shit in the car on the way to a destination, because I can tell you right now, you are not winning points by all of a sudden moving in in with her, talking shit about the rest of us in the car, because not only are you losing points for Hufflepuff, we can all walk, we don't need to interrupt your time. Also when arriving at the destination don't question the core group of the girls or insult them. Also be gracious to your host unlike us they are your actual coworker, we are just freelance, but respect those that helped you learn the ropes. Lastly, when your girlfriend says she just wants to pop by then drop her girls off, don't sit down and play video games, and not save the game...also don't upset the hosts brother so much he doesn't even want to do his happy dance...because that's what I look forward to. Lastly...and this is personal...do not under any circumstances call me or the general group that I am in a mother fucker or mother fuckers...because bro...now I don't like you...and I know you don't like me...and as I usually do to I have absolutely no problem not talking to you to avoid an future problems...the only real problem is now you have come between me and my friends, because as shes trying to get you to leave with her you would rather play video games and yell at her that she can take her friends home and come back and get you that's such a waste of fuel and truly shows where your priorities are...and they are not with her...I now think you date her as a place to stay and to stave off loneliness. Also I would rather walk home now than be in the car with someone who is so disrespectful. To my dear friend...over all the years I have known you and all the times you have told us our relationships are crap, or we are dick whipped because we don't want to party, when you chose to watch your boyfriend play video basket ball...it also shows what kind of person you are becoming and should you happen to read this I would like to have a long talk with you about how hypocritical you have become...because as you said...I've known you way longer than he has...I'll still be here when he breaks up with you but damn girl don't ever come at me sideways if I like someone again...and don't shit where you eat.

marketing...and sales...and a bad memory

I'm told constantly I should be in sales or marketing and the truth is I should I fucking rock that shit. The thing is it's hard to sell someone in sales that you can sell a dream...but I can and I'm a master marketing agent. Truth be told I am I'm working on getting out of the industry...surprise...don't worry you have time. I'll keep you all very updated as to whats going on in my world and when I'm leaving. You've all got plenty of time to get to seattle and get dances. anyway lets have some stories...I can tell a marketer by their glasses shirt, and shoes, I had one come in tonight promise me he would pay me more money than anyone else, if I sat with him...oldest trick in the stripper book to try and get them to sit with you for no money. I have a three song minimum that's 15 minutes...that like $200 I could have made or made part of. Anyway...this guy goes on and on about how hot and cool I am and just wants to spend time and all the money he has...which turns out to be $20 he tipped me on stage...a word to the wise... if you can't sell it in 6 minutes bounce. Also tonight I made a fool of myself with a regular again. I can never remember his name. However I can always remember your life story when you get to a certain point in the conversation except...I've commented the same thing on this guys shoes 4 times in a row and never remember...it's the first time I felt like I was blushing and wanted a coat. I feel so bad when I don't remember people who take the time to remember me. so if you are reading this know you are now committed to memory.