The last few nights I have left work in such a horrible mood, the worst, I haven't been making any money. Come to find out I'm scheduled at 7. Okay everyone announcement I'll be on the floor make up and all by 9. If you need or want me earlier than that please email and wait for a response. Then we can go from there.
So tonight I had some guy telling me how hot I am and I'm telling myself just don't be weird, and he's laughing and we are having a good time and I tell him the rules, now the rules aren't there just for me they are there for you too, they are there so I don't try and pull your nose hairs out or punch you in the face for biting by boob or licking my ass crack, they are they are there for the safety of all involved because truly once I get started I might not hear it over the muffled sound of your voice. So do we all understand why I have rules. Anyway this guy is having a good time he's laughing and right before the dance starts he stands up and says I don't think I can do this. The way you've laid everything out is upsetting to me.
So what you are telling me is I should just surprise you with the prices. Maybe I'll try that tomorrow. I'll see how well it goes.
Anyway as I'm getting frustrated throughout the evening hearing no after no, after no, and getting frustrated and heading to the back to cry, since I won't cry in the locker room it's not my thing. I made a couple of calls to cheer me up which helped. I do have to remember I'm a bad bitch, the baddest bitch, and as much as hoe's be plotting I don't give a fuck.
Anyway, I finally happened upon a gentleman who was impressed with my knowledge of accounting and my creative skill and thought I was off the chain hot, like willing to admit that I am without a doubt a 10 and I really needed nothing more than to hear that tonight from someone new that the reason people say no to me is because they happen to be intimidated which I'll say is fair at this point.
Anyway, this guy huge ego boost bought dances, and rooms, and really could not stop telling me how great I was. I am truly hoping I can carry this through till tomorrow.
Friday, September 30, 2016
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
tales from the Crypt
So...Seattle has been a total shit hole lately. It's been so slow it could be the winter. I was thinking about becoming a phone sex operator to work on my dirty talk and make some extra cash while working from home, and working on my other projects...Believe it or not I have other projects. SURPRISE! Anyway since s
Seattle has sucked worse than a toothless broke hooker I've considered going back down to Portland, J will say that I've been talking about this too much which is what is inspiring other girls to go down. I disagree this in my mind is the 1st time I'm mentioning it. Anyway. I love Portland. I need to go to portland I need to make some actual money this whole not making money in Seattle thing is not working...hence the reason I'm going in insanely early. By early I mean around 8. I need to go to portland to get some work done on this book I keep promising to write and once again I have writers block again. I keep thinking back to days of the past when I was a baby stripper and there was so much wonder to the whole thing, when I was buying crystal drink ware thinking I'm the fucking shit and no one can stop me. When I was walking around in corsets and bondage tape not giving a fuck. Maybe Wednesday night needs to be bondage tape night again. Something anything to liven up the dreary existence that is currently Little Darlings. Which by the way we are open while the construction is happening. Don't let the machinery scare you. I was trying to describe myself to my publicist friend the other day and how I used to feel walking down the stairs and down the ramp into the cave that is little darlings....
The smell of the strip club hits your nose and nothing in the world smells like strip club except strip club and that smell previously excited me. It would make me think of money (rather than crying strippers about problems I don't care about or they continuously repeat because they want to be heard by everyone, and the smell of old vagina and tampons pulled out and shoved behind couches) I would start to feel myself stand up straighter and breathe in the smell of money. I would feel the shift happen I would walk through the floor and pick out my potential customers immediately the ones I knew wouldn't say no, and I don't know how I knew they would say yes I just knew they wouldn't. I would rush back to the locker room, smash my make-up on as fast as I could because the faster I got on the floor the faster I could be making money. The faster I got on stage the faster I could impress people with my flexibility and my humor. I felt like a force or nature at that time. I felt unstoppable I felt like it didn't matter that nothing mattered that I was going to make my money no matter what. Why? Because I was the prettiest bitch in there. Also because I had no idea who was a creeper at the time who would down right say no and who would waste my time. I didn't go in thinking people would say no to me right away I didn't know why they would I couldn't see my own flaws the world hadn't dumped on me yet and it was new money and it meant I could have what I wanted. Rather than now I look at it and it's one of the hardest things to put myself out there with any excitement but as I say every night tonight is going to be different.
Tonight we are the force of nature we have always been. Stand by for an angry periscope later. Time to get in the shower and get ready to go.
Seattle has sucked worse than a toothless broke hooker I've considered going back down to Portland, J will say that I've been talking about this too much which is what is inspiring other girls to go down. I disagree this in my mind is the 1st time I'm mentioning it. Anyway. I love Portland. I need to go to portland I need to make some actual money this whole not making money in Seattle thing is not working...hence the reason I'm going in insanely early. By early I mean around 8. I need to go to portland to get some work done on this book I keep promising to write and once again I have writers block again. I keep thinking back to days of the past when I was a baby stripper and there was so much wonder to the whole thing, when I was buying crystal drink ware thinking I'm the fucking shit and no one can stop me. When I was walking around in corsets and bondage tape not giving a fuck. Maybe Wednesday night needs to be bondage tape night again. Something anything to liven up the dreary existence that is currently Little Darlings. Which by the way we are open while the construction is happening. Don't let the machinery scare you. I was trying to describe myself to my publicist friend the other day and how I used to feel walking down the stairs and down the ramp into the cave that is little darlings....
The smell of the strip club hits your nose and nothing in the world smells like strip club except strip club and that smell previously excited me. It would make me think of money (rather than crying strippers about problems I don't care about or they continuously repeat because they want to be heard by everyone, and the smell of old vagina and tampons pulled out and shoved behind couches) I would start to feel myself stand up straighter and breathe in the smell of money. I would feel the shift happen I would walk through the floor and pick out my potential customers immediately the ones I knew wouldn't say no, and I don't know how I knew they would say yes I just knew they wouldn't. I would rush back to the locker room, smash my make-up on as fast as I could because the faster I got on the floor the faster I could be making money. The faster I got on stage the faster I could impress people with my flexibility and my humor. I felt like a force or nature at that time. I felt unstoppable I felt like it didn't matter that nothing mattered that I was going to make my money no matter what. Why? Because I was the prettiest bitch in there. Also because I had no idea who was a creeper at the time who would down right say no and who would waste my time. I didn't go in thinking people would say no to me right away I didn't know why they would I couldn't see my own flaws the world hadn't dumped on me yet and it was new money and it meant I could have what I wanted. Rather than now I look at it and it's one of the hardest things to put myself out there with any excitement but as I say every night tonight is going to be different.
Tonight we are the force of nature we have always been. Stand by for an angry periscope later. Time to get in the shower and get ready to go.
Sunday, September 18, 2016
LIfe in movies...
recently I saw suicide squad and decided who I wanted to be for Halloween. Harrley Quinn...you guessed it. Her costume shouldn't be that hard to pull, in also gives me reason to carry a baseball bat. That's all I really need right? Maybe a slight change in hair but I think people should mostly get it.
I know all of you that have been reading are probably finding my confidence then losing it when I get to work. I mean seriously what the fuck is that shit, I'm still the same person, I'm just as fierce or I will be once I pick up a pair from the local Grillz artisan.
Anyway, last night some old guy asked me to run away with him get married, have children, Said he had made millions, was retired. Typically people come in like this and are on a capt. save a hoe shit, this guy was on the capt. save a hoe...mind game edition. Which is always fun for me, he didn't come in proclaiming everything he had to offer, he went a smarter route he went the route that no woman can not, not, answer the question "Do you want to get married someday" I like any other woman that's be described as a 10 would absolutely like to get married someday, for some reason yesterday this question stopped me mid dance, if there could have been a record scratch it would have been perfect. How could I answer this question and still get him to think these dances are valuable. I hate choices this think. So I did the only thing I could think of and asked "WHY DO YOU ASK" to which he replied well run away with me to the Carolinas I have so much money...I start to tune people out when they start talking about money, not because it's a touchy subject, I just enjoy seeing people as people, and I don't want the temptation to steal someone's black card. Hey I'm human, and I want to know what unlimited spending with no personal repercussions feels like for just a moment.
Anyway back to my life being like a movie. I love my job, I would love it more if I had fangs I really would that would be one thing I really want for my birthday next moth is a gorgeous pair of fangs, even as I was saying in my periscope just silver ones with a bright red ruby in the tip would make my fucking life. As dumb as that is. A pair of fangs even just thinking about it gets me excited, like really, really, really, really, really, damn that's a lot of really, excited.
Okay life like a movie, after this gentleman asked me this question, one of the final scenes of suicide squad SPOILER ALERT popped into my head, (I know that movie was just a summer action movie, and not suppose to be heavy) Margot Robbie's character is day dreaming of a normal life as she is locked this electrified cell, she dreams of Jared Leto as her husband and two children and her hair up in rollers, ushering her gorgeous husband off to work, and yes red is a hopeless romantic which is why this scene kills me also the following when the joker breaks her out. I know it's an abusive relationship in the comic book world, however in this movie rendition of it the love he has for her is amazing.
This man stopped me to think for a moment in my own cage I built looking as gorgeous as ever wondering if that normal life is something I want or something I'll ever have, or be forced into.(I mean you can take the girl out of the country and you cant take the stripper out of a woman, and why on earth would you that to yourself...congrats on catching the elusive stripper or ex stripper, even if they were as down to earth as me you are in for a ride.) I mean on one hand yes, on the other hand I wonder if I passed up a while ago (my parents stopped asking when I'm going settling down and switched over to when I'm going to buy property).
So old man Carolina was right about one thing I'm ready for a change. I just need it to be the change back in time a little bit. I was so close to it last night I could taste it. Maybe tonight I need to go way old school go in early have a drink get some interest going at the bar hand out some cards...yeah that's what I should do. I mean someone needs to market for us...jeezus. it might as well be me.
Also maybe just being a tiny bit earlier wouldn't fucking kill me.
I know all of you that have been reading are probably finding my confidence then losing it when I get to work. I mean seriously what the fuck is that shit, I'm still the same person, I'm just as fierce or I will be once I pick up a pair from the local Grillz artisan.
Anyway, last night some old guy asked me to run away with him get married, have children, Said he had made millions, was retired. Typically people come in like this and are on a capt. save a hoe shit, this guy was on the capt. save a hoe...mind game edition. Which is always fun for me, he didn't come in proclaiming everything he had to offer, he went a smarter route he went the route that no woman can not, not, answer the question "Do you want to get married someday" I like any other woman that's be described as a 10 would absolutely like to get married someday, for some reason yesterday this question stopped me mid dance, if there could have been a record scratch it would have been perfect. How could I answer this question and still get him to think these dances are valuable. I hate choices this think. So I did the only thing I could think of and asked "WHY DO YOU ASK" to which he replied well run away with me to the Carolinas I have so much money...I start to tune people out when they start talking about money, not because it's a touchy subject, I just enjoy seeing people as people, and I don't want the temptation to steal someone's black card. Hey I'm human, and I want to know what unlimited spending with no personal repercussions feels like for just a moment.
Anyway back to my life being like a movie. I love my job, I would love it more if I had fangs I really would that would be one thing I really want for my birthday next moth is a gorgeous pair of fangs, even as I was saying in my periscope just silver ones with a bright red ruby in the tip would make my fucking life. As dumb as that is. A pair of fangs even just thinking about it gets me excited, like really, really, really, really, really, damn that's a lot of really, excited.
Okay life like a movie, after this gentleman asked me this question, one of the final scenes of suicide squad SPOILER ALERT popped into my head, (I know that movie was just a summer action movie, and not suppose to be heavy) Margot Robbie's character is day dreaming of a normal life as she is locked this electrified cell, she dreams of Jared Leto as her husband and two children and her hair up in rollers, ushering her gorgeous husband off to work, and yes red is a hopeless romantic which is why this scene kills me also the following when the joker breaks her out. I know it's an abusive relationship in the comic book world, however in this movie rendition of it the love he has for her is amazing.
This man stopped me to think for a moment in my own cage I built looking as gorgeous as ever wondering if that normal life is something I want or something I'll ever have, or be forced into.(I mean you can take the girl out of the country and you cant take the stripper out of a woman, and why on earth would you that to yourself...congrats on catching the elusive stripper or ex stripper, even if they were as down to earth as me you are in for a ride.) I mean on one hand yes, on the other hand I wonder if I passed up a while ago (my parents stopped asking when I'm going settling down and switched over to when I'm going to buy property).
So old man Carolina was right about one thing I'm ready for a change. I just need it to be the change back in time a little bit. I was so close to it last night I could taste it. Maybe tonight I need to go way old school go in early have a drink get some interest going at the bar hand out some cards...yeah that's what I should do. I mean someone needs to market for us...jeezus. it might as well be me.
Also maybe just being a tiny bit earlier wouldn't fucking kill me.
Saturday, September 17, 2016
A sincere thank you to my haters....and an exquistly boring friday
Well here we are at yet another Friday, a day like any other day, really Friday's could easily be confused with Monday in ye old little darling's...anyway a day like any other day being today Friday. Which I happened to be continuously been late to lately. Like who's running this time show really a two hour delay is disrespectful and really if I were to get to work and be excited about and running on the floor because all I could smell was money. Why am I realizing right now that I used to see this as a competition, and it was like blood in the water, it was thrilling, it was a rush. Why right now am I missing the chase of the game, the predatory way I walked up to people, with such confidence, and power that I either scared you into a dance or just scared you in general. UGHHH where the fuck is that red, she was fun, she was the most fun. I miss that iteration of myself and today taught me that. Actually yesterday taught me I was thinking about all the knocks I've taken in life, and I think it made this soft not funny version of myself.
However as strange as it feels, to me it feels like periscope is my warm up lately, the warm up to my snarky self. As inevitable as it is that I'm going to be that I hear a no, the dickfucks that show up and troll really are the ones who easy me into being told no by total nerds. All this time I've been sitting around pouting about how I can't find my old money making self and really here I have been the entire time. I've so wrapped up with trying to find myself while totally spiraling ever so slightly out of control. I'm so lucky to have had some of you readers and non-readers with me through all of this. I cannot thank you enough for putting up with me through thick and thin.
Those of you who are new and jumped on the periscope hate train keep it up, you are just my warm up. So haters gonna hate. I've finally come full circle. I've been so scared of stupid things that doesn't exist. So again, yet again, for the final time. Welcome back to myself. Time to go back to being punctual and taking all of money in the club.
So thanks haters, and thanks exceptionally boring Friday, in which I was positioned me perfectly to take the time to think about myself enough, to be selfish enough, to think about who I am and what I want and how the fucking fuck I'm going to get there.
However as strange as it feels, to me it feels like periscope is my warm up lately, the warm up to my snarky self. As inevitable as it is that I'm going to be that I hear a no, the dickfucks that show up and troll really are the ones who easy me into being told no by total nerds. All this time I've been sitting around pouting about how I can't find my old money making self and really here I have been the entire time. I've so wrapped up with trying to find myself while totally spiraling ever so slightly out of control. I'm so lucky to have had some of you readers and non-readers with me through all of this. I cannot thank you enough for putting up with me through thick and thin.
Those of you who are new and jumped on the periscope hate train keep it up, you are just my warm up. So haters gonna hate. I've finally come full circle. I've been so scared of stupid things that doesn't exist. So again, yet again, for the final time. Welcome back to myself. Time to go back to being punctual and taking all of money in the club.
So thanks haters, and thanks exceptionally boring Friday, in which I was positioned me perfectly to take the time to think about myself enough, to be selfish enough, to think about who I am and what I want and how the fucking fuck I'm going to get there.
Wednesday, September 14, 2016
OMG YOURE FAMOUS!
So last night as I'm doing my newfound periscopes? How are all of you liking this whole periscope thing.
Anyway I'm in the electric closet my new favorite place to change as I'm usually left a lone. What do you know a social job and "all I want is some god damn peace and quite" (family this is were you chime in...OH THE HUMANITY) anyway in walks this brand new waitress, and says
W: Are you red?
R: Uh...yeah
W: shill squeel of excitement (me checking my hearing, I think only dogs could hear part of it.)
R: Is there something I should know?
W: You're like famous or something you're the girl on the poster!?!?!?!
R: Really? I mean I guess I'm a little well known.
W: Oh my god you had like 10 guys in here for you tonight, and I've looked at all your social media channels...
R:Really...well...yup...I'm red.
This whole famous every couple weeks this is pretty crazy. I mean I guess it is what it is. It's just funny I never see myself that way I just see myself as this normal person. Speaking of I'm going in early in case you all have thing going on and want to come hang out with our crazy construction site in front of us.
Which don't even get me started...on except. PSA LITTLE DARLINGS WITH HAVE NO WATER ON TUESDAY! BUT COME SEE ME ANYWAY.
Anyway I'm in the electric closet my new favorite place to change as I'm usually left a lone. What do you know a social job and "all I want is some god damn peace and quite" (family this is were you chime in...OH THE HUMANITY) anyway in walks this brand new waitress, and says
W: Are you red?
R: Uh...yeah
W: shill squeel of excitement (me checking my hearing, I think only dogs could hear part of it.)
R: Is there something I should know?
W: You're like famous or something you're the girl on the poster!?!?!?!
R: Really? I mean I guess I'm a little well known.
W: Oh my god you had like 10 guys in here for you tonight, and I've looked at all your social media channels...
R:Really...well...yup...I'm red.
This whole famous every couple weeks this is pretty crazy. I mean I guess it is what it is. It's just funny I never see myself that way I just see myself as this normal person. Speaking of I'm going in early in case you all have thing going on and want to come hang out with our crazy construction site in front of us.
Which don't even get me started...on except. PSA LITTLE DARLINGS WITH HAVE NO WATER ON TUESDAY! BUT COME SEE ME ANYWAY.
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