Well here we are at yet another Friday, a day like any other day, really Friday's could easily be confused with Monday in ye old little darling's...anyway a day like any other day being today Friday. Which I happened to be continuously been late to lately. Like who's running this time show really a two hour delay is disrespectful and really if I were to get to work and be excited about and running on the floor because all I could smell was money. Why am I realizing right now that I used to see this as a competition, and it was like blood in the water, it was thrilling, it was a rush. Why right now am I missing the chase of the game, the predatory way I walked up to people, with such confidence, and power that I either scared you into a dance or just scared you in general. UGHHH where the fuck is that red, she was fun, she was the most fun. I miss that iteration of myself and today taught me that. Actually yesterday taught me I was thinking about all the knocks I've taken in life, and I think it made this soft not funny version of myself.
However as strange as it feels, to me it feels like periscope is my warm up lately, the warm up to my snarky self. As inevitable as it is that I'm going to be that I hear a no, the dickfucks that show up and troll really are the ones who easy me into being told no by total nerds. All this time I've been sitting around pouting about how I can't find my old money making self and really here I have been the entire time. I've so wrapped up with trying to find myself while totally spiraling ever so slightly out of control. I'm so lucky to have had some of you readers and non-readers with me through all of this. I cannot thank you enough for putting up with me through thick and thin.
Those of you who are new and jumped on the periscope hate train keep it up, you are just my warm up. So haters gonna hate. I've finally come full circle. I've been so scared of stupid things that doesn't exist. So again, yet again, for the final time. Welcome back to myself. Time to go back to being punctual and taking all of money in the club.
So thanks haters, and thanks exceptionally boring Friday, in which I was positioned me perfectly to take the time to think about myself enough, to be selfish enough, to think about who I am and what I want and how the fucking fuck I'm going to get there.
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