I'm wondering if my karma is throw off right now.
1. I smashed my phone.
2. My ex came in.
3. I cried at work.
4. I broke my shoes.
The universe is trying to tell me something, in fact it's yelling at me, but it's yelling at me in a different language
1. Smashed phone...I am finally adult enough to get insurance. So whooo upgrade for me 5s I'm excited.
2. Well JW and I were together his friend KK who encouraged him to dump me. I mean he would have dumped me regardless...But I really thought he never thought very fondly of me. I'm quite sure that hasn't changed. BUT! I think that he ending up with a raging boner is good enough for me. I mean I know guys get boners, but that, that one proves that he's just a person and no better than me, and I being a woman still have some power over him... and my bonder providing ability. HotChaCha I still got it.
3. I cried at work...Everyone breaks down every now and again, and sometimes it's good to cry in public to find out who your real friends are, sometimes it's surprising, but it's always good.
4. I broke my shoes...Got to bust out the ol' bondage tape and something about it, just made me feel like myself again.
I think I'm officially an at least there is something in my glass, and it's probably half full.
Even though this weekend has sucked super mushroom looking cock, there is always tomorrow, and it's a brand new day, and everyday is a good day to start over. Stand by for up coming resolutions for the new year.
Sunday, December 29, 2013
Friday, December 27, 2013
Frustration, leads to laziness, and laziness leads to...
Don't call it a comeback.
I've been thinking a lot about how I was when I first started this job. Lately I've been so frustrated and the whole stripper world seem so bad, and I know why I'm not making any money right now. I'm not following my own advice of staying out of the locker room, and talking to everyone, because there really is some good in everyone...Except for a particular brand of men who just want to put there hands wherever they seem to think is exciting.
So here we are. Almost a new year, and I'm going to dig deep tomorrow morning and re-find myself. This version of me isn't working and I need me back by tomorrow. There is nothing wrong with me, and lately I've felt like there is. I mean for real...I'm awesome, and excuse me as I toot my own horn again for the millionth time. I mean really, if I were a dude, I would want a girl, who worked out, who could cook, who had great style, who knew folks around town, who like drinking both classy cocktails and dive bars, who reads, who makes her own money, who wants me and doesn't need me, who is totally sexy, who loves workout clothes, and who also loves lingerie, who goes to school to better herself. I would totally date myself. I'm the shit and that's all you all need to know. I'm serious. I'm. So. Hot. I. Can. Do. Be. The. Best. And. I. Am...so I better start working like it, and acting like it.
1. Don't hang out in the locker room...ever.
2. Do make-up at home, before arriving at work.
3. Talk to everyone, find something interesting about everyone.
4. Shark walk gang.
5. Don't be so apprehensive about being a little rough with people, it made me $ before it should make me $ again.
6. Be a little vulnerable, so I'm not so "INTIMIDATING"
Previously, I never had bad nights. I want so badly to blame it on the club, or the construction, or blah, blah, blah.
But, tonight while I was talking to dais I made a good point. I have a body similar to a porn star, I'm great as you can see in the aforementioned items. There is zero reason that anyone should stay NO more to me.
So, now that I've blathered on for a million years...Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm grab it by the fucking balls, and then I'm going to make tomorrow my bitch.
I've been thinking a lot about how I was when I first started this job. Lately I've been so frustrated and the whole stripper world seem so bad, and I know why I'm not making any money right now. I'm not following my own advice of staying out of the locker room, and talking to everyone, because there really is some good in everyone...Except for a particular brand of men who just want to put there hands wherever they seem to think is exciting.
So here we are. Almost a new year, and I'm going to dig deep tomorrow morning and re-find myself. This version of me isn't working and I need me back by tomorrow. There is nothing wrong with me, and lately I've felt like there is. I mean for real...I'm awesome, and excuse me as I toot my own horn again for the millionth time. I mean really, if I were a dude, I would want a girl, who worked out, who could cook, who had great style, who knew folks around town, who like drinking both classy cocktails and dive bars, who reads, who makes her own money, who wants me and doesn't need me, who is totally sexy, who loves workout clothes, and who also loves lingerie, who goes to school to better herself. I would totally date myself. I'm the shit and that's all you all need to know. I'm serious. I'm. So. Hot. I. Can. Do. Be. The. Best. And. I. Am...so I better start working like it, and acting like it.
1. Don't hang out in the locker room...ever.
2. Do make-up at home, before arriving at work.
3. Talk to everyone, find something interesting about everyone.
4. Shark walk gang.
5. Don't be so apprehensive about being a little rough with people, it made me $ before it should make me $ again.
6. Be a little vulnerable, so I'm not so "INTIMIDATING"
Previously, I never had bad nights. I want so badly to blame it on the club, or the construction, or blah, blah, blah.
But, tonight while I was talking to dais I made a good point. I have a body similar to a porn star, I'm great as you can see in the aforementioned items. There is zero reason that anyone should stay NO more to me.
So, now that I've blathered on for a million years...Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm grab it by the fucking balls, and then I'm going to make tomorrow my bitch.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Whine, whine, whine, I wish I had a glass of wine.
I don't even know if this is appropriate to talk about in my blog. I have no clue but it might help me to talk about it. My best friend no long wants to kick it with us on this planet, apparently we her friends are not enough, nor her family, or any puppies, nothing. She's taking all the right steps to prevent it, of course and wants it to work but doesn't know if it will work. Im so sad.
Another soon to be ex friend is incredibly mad at me because I have never really made time for them, or that I wouldn't give them a chance at dating me. I DON'T DATE, AND I HAVE MY REASONS HOW HARD IS THAT? Yes I'm busy anyone who knows me knows that I'm always busy, or tired, and I'm always, always, always late. Really though our "friendship" that I haven't mad time for they have gotten so mad at me and sent me just passive emails that put themselves down and it appears that they don't listen to what I'm saying, so I get a couple days of mean emails, then I get an apology email hoping that I will understand and forgive him. I mean this has been going on for a year. I think that I'm doing the right thing for them by saying I don't want to continue this cycle, and that it's incredibly unhealthily and I don't get any joy out of this so I don't see any possible way that they do.
Lastly my other best friend is questioning if I'm actually doing anything with my life since I'm not through school yet. If I will do anything with my life or if I'm just going to maintain. Also that no one would care if I colored my hair dark brown I really hope that's not what to seems like to everyone else(the school thing), but it may, and that would make sense I've been in school for a billion years.
When it rains it hails...and I'm debating with myself wether or not I want to go home for the holidays. It's going to cost me over 1,000 just for the plane ticket, then I have the car rental, and I know if I go home it's not a vacation, inevitably I will be running errands for my parents which is fine. What's not fine is their instance that I wake up at 7am. I really would like to be with my family on Christmas they are my world... I'm a horrible daughter because I don't want to spend somewhere in the ball park of 2,000 to not be on vacation.
Another soon to be ex friend is incredibly mad at me because I have never really made time for them, or that I wouldn't give them a chance at dating me. I DON'T DATE, AND I HAVE MY REASONS HOW HARD IS THAT? Yes I'm busy anyone who knows me knows that I'm always busy, or tired, and I'm always, always, always late. Really though our "friendship" that I haven't mad time for they have gotten so mad at me and sent me just passive emails that put themselves down and it appears that they don't listen to what I'm saying, so I get a couple days of mean emails, then I get an apology email hoping that I will understand and forgive him. I mean this has been going on for a year. I think that I'm doing the right thing for them by saying I don't want to continue this cycle, and that it's incredibly unhealthily and I don't get any joy out of this so I don't see any possible way that they do.
Lastly my other best friend is questioning if I'm actually doing anything with my life since I'm not through school yet. If I will do anything with my life or if I'm just going to maintain. Also that no one would care if I colored my hair dark brown I really hope that's not what to seems like to everyone else(the school thing), but it may, and that would make sense I've been in school for a billion years.
When it rains it hails...and I'm debating with myself wether or not I want to go home for the holidays. It's going to cost me over 1,000 just for the plane ticket, then I have the car rental, and I know if I go home it's not a vacation, inevitably I will be running errands for my parents which is fine. What's not fine is their instance that I wake up at 7am. I really would like to be with my family on Christmas they are my world... I'm a horrible daughter because I don't want to spend somewhere in the ball park of 2,000 to not be on vacation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)