I don't even know if this is appropriate to talk about in my blog. I have no clue but it might help me to talk about it. My best friend no long wants to kick it with us on this planet, apparently we her friends are not enough, nor her family, or any puppies, nothing. She's taking all the right steps to prevent it, of course and wants it to work but doesn't know if it will work. Im so sad.
Another soon to be ex friend is incredibly mad at me because I have never really made time for them, or that I wouldn't give them a chance at dating me. I DON'T DATE, AND I HAVE MY REASONS HOW HARD IS THAT? Yes I'm busy anyone who knows me knows that I'm always busy, or tired, and I'm always, always, always late. Really though our "friendship" that I haven't mad time for they have gotten so mad at me and sent me just passive emails that put themselves down and it appears that they don't listen to what I'm saying, so I get a couple days of mean emails, then I get an apology email hoping that I will understand and forgive him. I mean this has been going on for a year. I think that I'm doing the right thing for them by saying I don't want to continue this cycle, and that it's incredibly unhealthily and I don't get any joy out of this so I don't see any possible way that they do.
Lastly my other best friend is questioning if I'm actually doing anything with my life since I'm not through school yet. If I will do anything with my life or if I'm just going to maintain. Also that no one would care if I colored my hair dark brown I really hope that's not what to seems like to everyone else(the school thing), but it may, and that would make sense I've been in school for a billion years.
When it rains it hails...and I'm debating with myself wether or not I want to go home for the holidays. It's going to cost me over 1,000 just for the plane ticket, then I have the car rental, and I know if I go home it's not a vacation, inevitably I will be running errands for my parents which is fine. What's not fine is their instance that I wake up at 7am. I really would like to be with my family on Christmas they are my world... I'm a horrible daughter because I don't want to spend somewhere in the ball park of 2,000 to not be on vacation.
I'm sorry to hear about your friend that is looking to check out, but I'm glad that they are looking into staying around. Oddly, I am suspect of anyone who hasn't considered checking out. I think it boils down to the reptile brain and the fight or flee nature of that instinctive process. I really do hope that the help she gets, works for her.
ReplyDeleteAs for the other friend, all I can ask is that even though you've told this person you aren't dating, and that you're busy, have you given any mixed signals when you've been out some where? Personally speaking, this is what has caused me the most torment in my life and dealing with women. Damn mixed signals! If not, then I think it would still be easy for someone to fall head over heels with you, as you are an impressive young woman. Getting someone out of your head is hard, and biochemically speaking, it's harder for men than for women. At some point you have to give them the big "Fuck off!" and hope they get it.
Your other friend is clueless as to your life and what you are doing with it. Then again, so am I. However, I loved college, and if I could I would still be going for my own selfish edification. If I recall correctly from our conversations, this is your second degree right? It's not an easy one either, right? So your going to school and working for a living. If you're doing your best, then that's all you can do, and tell your friend like it is. If they can deal with it, then it's all good. If not, well that's their problem then.
Back when I was a senior in high school and we had college night, I picked up a pretty sizable booklet about going to college for engineering. One of the things it said you had to do was to evaluate your friends from high school and see if they just wanted to be good time friends or people that could actually contribute to your life. If they were just good time friends you had to put them aside and not let them hold you back from your academic pursuits. I thought it was incredibly bad advice to put friends aside, and I didn't read much of the rest of it till years later. What I didn't realize was that it said to put them aside, but not to stop interacting with them.
What is it the kids are saying about others not respecting their hustle because the others don't understand their grind? Or did I get that backwards?
I can understand you completely regarding the family separation. While my family is slightly closer, and it's just a long drive to my mother, and a another longer drive to my father, I just about can't deal with the drive anymore. I never think of myself as a bad son though, and you shouldn't think of yourself as a bad daughter either.
When you do get a chance, then go and enjoy yourself because you want to be with your family, and you don't have any regrets/conflicts about being with them.
I don't blame you, I wouldn't want to spend that kind of money for that kind of holiday either.
ReplyDeleteI didn't I went to SF. I think the ticket was still like 900 but totally worth it.
DeleteTo see my bestie which I needed...
Deletetotal outsiders point of view, but, if somebody doesn't want to be your friend because you won't bang them, they're not a friend you want. friend number three seems to at least be looking out for you which is a good trait in a friend, even if they're wrong.
ReplyDeleteThey are a great friend.
DeleteSuicidal friend - keep trying to reach out and be a part of any counseling she wants to include you in. Definitely just be open and try to be an ear. Watch closely.
ReplyDeleteGuy who got friend zoned. Get away from him. He sounds frustrated and whiney andtthat's not remotely on you. You know inside yourself, if he was dating material then you would have categorized him as such and changed whatever belief you have against dating. It's closing in on the holidays, he's frustrated and lonely I suspect and lashing out at you. He can't accept the role he had in your life and probably should lose any role over that.
Parents trip..... Depends on how strapped you are. It's just money, if you wake up tomorrow the same you'll go make more. I'm 31 now and don't pass up any opportunities I have to do stuff with my folks /family. Loved ones shouldn't be taken for granted and aa they age, I feel the pressure to seize every opportunity I have with them.
So, re family Christmas a La ferris bueller
"if you have the means, I highly recommend it. "
Cheers and merry Christmas red.