Tonight a little bird dropped a very important nugget of information in my lap concerning dirt in our club, and whom has been alerted to it.
That being said it is highly important that everyone is on their best behavior. Rumor has it shit is about to get extra real really soon.
I'm really hoping this actually nugget of info reaches the people it's suppose to and that the people that deserve to be negatively affected are.
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Takling shit about other strippers, blanketing opinions that I'll probably regret soon
Dear Modest Mouse, I'm sorry I borrowed your lyrics a little bit, I hope that's okay. You've been my favorite band for almost 15 years.
Anyway, tonight was one of those nights I didn't want to go to work, but I didn't want to be at home. I don't want to be at home very much right now at all anyways. My interloper and friends (name of a terrible sitcom on abc this fall) are driving me crazy. Especially since all of a sudden I can't find 5 david yurman pieces and a tiffanys bangle. I'm really hoping it's just misplaced at the moment and that moved the bag they were in last night when I was tired and that they were not being scallywags and absconding with my finery. Which reminds me I'll be heading to the pawn shops tomorrow to try and find them...after I turn this place upside down. Regardless of that having someone in your home all the time is really hard, especially when I really want to be alone, or i expect my popsiciles to be in the freezer, or my cereal to be mostly there, waking me up because her cohort has annoyed her. I hate being at home right now...I also love knowing that she happens to talk about me behind my back saying what a bitch I am...Yes I am a huge bitch, it's a well known fact, it's basically the 1st chapter in the book of red. I wonder if I'm such a huge bitch why she stays.
This whole blog post is about what a bitch I am, how much I love work, happiness and it's correlation to work. Maybe this will be a multi-part post...If I remember
All of these factors lead to me want to escape by going to work. Baby and I were talking about it tonight near the end of the night, work has become our escape even though we aren't making a ton of money right now. (Dear #StripperDeites fucking help) Work is were our friends our, we don't have to stress about the same things we have to stress about in the "real world". So for a few brief hours it's a total escape. Even if you want to stress about things outside of work you have to get over it pretty quick or you can't work. Luckily I/we work somewhere, where we can talk about what's going on with some of our closest friends who know our deepest darkest secrets, and our most rational and irrational fears. Although it generally prevails that we all like each other (which is crazy when you think about it 15-50 women all together competing for money based on what they look like(sort of), our knowledge of anything and everything, and the cut of our jib.) sometimes it happens that we don't get along.
Tonight I was in the bathroom with nev, fiddling on my phone, and Versailles knocked on the door, nev asked her to wait a minute, versailles started tapping her toe impatiently, I can't remember the exact conversation at that point I don't know if I said something or if she did, however nev said she would hurry up or that she didn't need to act like that or something and Versailles was super annoyed, nev and I leave the bathroom. Versailles makes that Agh sound and slams the door like a 17 year old trying to punish their parents, I am not a parent and I was annoyed and tired and in a generally bad mood, so I kick the door open and proceed to say...Are you doing this thing, this paticular thing...What if I am?...You don't need to be fucking rude, I get that you want your privacy, I totally get it but that was fucking uncalled for...You know what red, whenever I need to use the bathroom you either come in and don't respect my privacy(which is true I do, do this sometimes, but I'm working on it, which no one knows because I don't make it known, hence the #tweetsfromthemensroom then I don't have to interupt anyone and I have my own stall and no one banging on the door, or disregarding the fact that the garbage can is in fromt of it to keep it from flying open and opening the door spewing the contents of the rubbish unless one jumps up from the toilet and catches it hopefully without having piss run down their leg, it's choosing the lesser of two evils at times. Or sometimes you ask them to wait a second and they can't hear you so they open the door to say "what" which makes zero sense to me.)...Still you don't need to be a fucking bitch about the whole thing...whatever fuck you...you know what bitch just so you know I picked up your fucking make-up bag and put it on top of your fucking locker after you were talking about people fucking stealing...I didn't leave my fucking make-up bag out...Yes you fucking did...She storms out of the locker room slamming two doors and talking about what a fucking cunt I am...at that moment I seriously considered dumping her make-up bag out...but I didn't.
I know this seems like a strange way to tell someone you did something nice for them and it was, and I know it seems like this escalated really quick...and it did...It all started earlier in the night when I actually got to work. I walked back to my corner to get ready and Nev and Versailles were taking up the whole space, and both of them were bitching about something. Versailles doesn't know what volume her voice is at most of the time, and it annoys the shit out of me. I was super tired when I got there so I put my head down for a minute and the two of them talking about whatever the fuck they were talking about annoyed the crap out of me and kept me from getting a 15min power nap in...which I then put another 10 min on and in the following 10min Versailles needed to get in her locker and apparently I was in the way, so she screeched "Red" to which I responded "FUCK SERIOUSLY" because I was basically asleep and I instantaneously realized that my efforts were pointless...So it was all building up.
When she came back in from stage she was slamming her locker and stomping around. So I stepped between her and the exit and said...I'm really sorry I yelled at you, and I told you so on your make-up bag...Thanks, I'm sorry too. Then we had the conversation that's in parentheses above. The thing that gets me on this is I seriously think that in a way Nev loves this kind of drama, as I looked up a couple of times I caught her in the mirror intently watching what was going on, and had this tiny little approving smirk on her face, eventually she chimed in about the bathroom conversation.
The girls I work with crack me up, I'm glad Versailles and I worked it out, I'm still waiting for the day Nev and I get into it, I know she doesn't like me, I think she tolerates me, I think she tolerates me because we have worked together for years...she once wanted me to catch her as she hoped off stage this was in my heavier days since I'm sure I looked sturdier at the time...Jumping at someone who is wearing 7+ inch heals and expecting them to catch you is a terrible idea, luckily no one died, obviously since it was quite some time ago and I'm still alive and writing this. Anyway that girl has a mouth on her and I'm not scared of her but I'm expecting it will go like most verbal things in my world...badly I as exhibited above at times do not know what to say, I could have called Versailles out on a bunch of shit right then and there but I didn't think it was a good idea...hence the "I picked up your fucking make-up bag bitch, your welcome". Nev however I'm not so sure we've worked together a long time and we both have dirt on each other. GVS strikes again.
Speaking of Dirt stand by for my next blog post...Ladies I work with it's important.
Anyway, tonight was one of those nights I didn't want to go to work, but I didn't want to be at home. I don't want to be at home very much right now at all anyways. My interloper and friends (name of a terrible sitcom on abc this fall) are driving me crazy. Especially since all of a sudden I can't find 5 david yurman pieces and a tiffanys bangle. I'm really hoping it's just misplaced at the moment and that moved the bag they were in last night when I was tired and that they were not being scallywags and absconding with my finery. Which reminds me I'll be heading to the pawn shops tomorrow to try and find them...after I turn this place upside down. Regardless of that having someone in your home all the time is really hard, especially when I really want to be alone, or i expect my popsiciles to be in the freezer, or my cereal to be mostly there, waking me up because her cohort has annoyed her. I hate being at home right now...I also love knowing that she happens to talk about me behind my back saying what a bitch I am...Yes I am a huge bitch, it's a well known fact, it's basically the 1st chapter in the book of red. I wonder if I'm such a huge bitch why she stays.
This whole blog post is about what a bitch I am, how much I love work, happiness and it's correlation to work. Maybe this will be a multi-part post...If I remember
All of these factors lead to me want to escape by going to work. Baby and I were talking about it tonight near the end of the night, work has become our escape even though we aren't making a ton of money right now. (Dear #StripperDeites fucking help) Work is were our friends our, we don't have to stress about the same things we have to stress about in the "real world". So for a few brief hours it's a total escape. Even if you want to stress about things outside of work you have to get over it pretty quick or you can't work. Luckily I/we work somewhere, where we can talk about what's going on with some of our closest friends who know our deepest darkest secrets, and our most rational and irrational fears. Although it generally prevails that we all like each other (which is crazy when you think about it 15-50 women all together competing for money based on what they look like(sort of), our knowledge of anything and everything, and the cut of our jib.) sometimes it happens that we don't get along.
Tonight I was in the bathroom with nev, fiddling on my phone, and Versailles knocked on the door, nev asked her to wait a minute, versailles started tapping her toe impatiently, I can't remember the exact conversation at that point I don't know if I said something or if she did, however nev said she would hurry up or that she didn't need to act like that or something and Versailles was super annoyed, nev and I leave the bathroom. Versailles makes that Agh sound and slams the door like a 17 year old trying to punish their parents, I am not a parent and I was annoyed and tired and in a generally bad mood, so I kick the door open and proceed to say...Are you doing this thing, this paticular thing...What if I am?...You don't need to be fucking rude, I get that you want your privacy, I totally get it but that was fucking uncalled for...You know what red, whenever I need to use the bathroom you either come in and don't respect my privacy(which is true I do, do this sometimes, but I'm working on it, which no one knows because I don't make it known, hence the #tweetsfromthemensroom then I don't have to interupt anyone and I have my own stall and no one banging on the door, or disregarding the fact that the garbage can is in fromt of it to keep it from flying open and opening the door spewing the contents of the rubbish unless one jumps up from the toilet and catches it hopefully without having piss run down their leg, it's choosing the lesser of two evils at times. Or sometimes you ask them to wait a second and they can't hear you so they open the door to say "what" which makes zero sense to me.)...Still you don't need to be a fucking bitch about the whole thing...whatever fuck you...you know what bitch just so you know I picked up your fucking make-up bag and put it on top of your fucking locker after you were talking about people fucking stealing...I didn't leave my fucking make-up bag out...Yes you fucking did...She storms out of the locker room slamming two doors and talking about what a fucking cunt I am...at that moment I seriously considered dumping her make-up bag out...but I didn't.
I know this seems like a strange way to tell someone you did something nice for them and it was, and I know it seems like this escalated really quick...and it did...It all started earlier in the night when I actually got to work. I walked back to my corner to get ready and Nev and Versailles were taking up the whole space, and both of them were bitching about something. Versailles doesn't know what volume her voice is at most of the time, and it annoys the shit out of me. I was super tired when I got there so I put my head down for a minute and the two of them talking about whatever the fuck they were talking about annoyed the crap out of me and kept me from getting a 15min power nap in...which I then put another 10 min on and in the following 10min Versailles needed to get in her locker and apparently I was in the way, so she screeched "Red" to which I responded "FUCK SERIOUSLY" because I was basically asleep and I instantaneously realized that my efforts were pointless...So it was all building up.
When she came back in from stage she was slamming her locker and stomping around. So I stepped between her and the exit and said...I'm really sorry I yelled at you, and I told you so on your make-up bag...Thanks, I'm sorry too. Then we had the conversation that's in parentheses above. The thing that gets me on this is I seriously think that in a way Nev loves this kind of drama, as I looked up a couple of times I caught her in the mirror intently watching what was going on, and had this tiny little approving smirk on her face, eventually she chimed in about the bathroom conversation.
The girls I work with crack me up, I'm glad Versailles and I worked it out, I'm still waiting for the day Nev and I get into it, I know she doesn't like me, I think she tolerates me, I think she tolerates me because we have worked together for years...she once wanted me to catch her as she hoped off stage this was in my heavier days since I'm sure I looked sturdier at the time...Jumping at someone who is wearing 7+ inch heals and expecting them to catch you is a terrible idea, luckily no one died, obviously since it was quite some time ago and I'm still alive and writing this. Anyway that girl has a mouth on her and I'm not scared of her but I'm expecting it will go like most verbal things in my world...badly I as exhibited above at times do not know what to say, I could have called Versailles out on a bunch of shit right then and there but I didn't think it was a good idea...hence the "I picked up your fucking make-up bag bitch, your welcome". Nev however I'm not so sure we've worked together a long time and we both have dirt on each other. GVS strikes again.
Speaking of Dirt stand by for my next blog post...Ladies I work with it's important.
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Strippers undercover...purity ring the band that's playing right now.
So I left my phone at a bar tonight. I swear me and phones don't get a long lately. However the evening without it was kind of nice. I'll tell you all about it in a second. I think that in being a stripper people forget that you are human, forget that you feel things. You aren't always a sex object, sometimes you are everything bad they have ever known in someone who worked in the sex industry. You are every lie they have ever been told, every woman who has ever hurt them, you are everything bad about women, and there isn't really any undoing it. People don't see you as the woman who sticks up for herself, the woman defends her beliefs, the woman who will cover your drinks and your friends drinks when you are broke and let you take the cedit for it. If I could count how many times friends had said they would pay me back for drinks, or holding their bag of puke, or getting a cab, or doing any number of things that would be nice if they were reciprocated, especially holding a bag of my puke that would be awesome. However they never are and when I/we the strippers want a favor back it doesn't matter that we have proven ourselves to be worthwhile people we all of a sudden turn into every single woman that has inflicted pain on that person and you are right in front of them so they get to take it out on you, even if it doesn't matter, we bring you the most happiness and the most pain, and we are always your scapegoat. Which leads us too...Red takes the night off.
So..I'm getting out there on my time off I'm meeting people I'm making new friends I'm drinking more, which I think is good for me it gets me out of my head a little bit and makes me a little more motivated to work and a little more fun when i do work since I have something to talk about. I mean has the 1940 edition of betty crocker said, go out for a walk in the afternoon so you have something to talk about with your husband over dinner, I need something to talk about besides how my life revolves around work sometimes.
So as I'm out tonight (last night now, so I'm going to change the tense of my writing here pretty quick) trying to forget about the stress in my life, I ran into a friend of a friend of a girlfriend of mine tonight at one of my favorite bars. I thought I would pick up an old habit, the habit of telling people right off the bat that I'm s stripper. So I started tonight and it never ceases to amaze me the way people react. I'm offically too tired to write I just fell asleep with my head in my hand I'll revisit this over lunch. Alright 8 hours later I need to decide where I'm eating and writing. Okay hours and hours later. Let the hour of writing begin. I need to start bringing my glasses with me places. I still don't have my phone. Part of me wants to get rid of my phone all together and just get a land line. How cool would it be to call someones home phone and leave them messages. Maybe I would be on time more often then since I wouldn't have the option of telling someone I was going to be late. Also I've been getting a lot of bad news lately via the telephone so I'm not really the biggest fan of it as of late what can I say I'm a horribly adjusted adult, not really I just don't like having my feelings hurt so someone can "teach me a lesson" and make themselves feel better, and since my feelings aren't ilegitamate, but they aren't valid or warrented it's not really a reason for me to walk all the way to the end of my neighborhood and retreive my phone...although I could be paddleboarding right now...RIGHT BATMAN I CAN'T BRING MY PHONE ON THE WATER!
Back to how people react to me being a stripper they either run away which legit happened once, let me tell you being left at a sporting event nothing something I want to do again. So I tell lets call him kevin bacon since it's like 6 degrees between me and he and how we actually know each other. That I'm a stripper mind you kevin bacon is a professor (yay academia they tend to think i'm pretty okay) he just looks at me for a second and blinks, I say he can run away, and he doesn't, he goes into a similar speech a lot of people go into about how great strippers are, and how he has no problem with them...Which is great, maybe I can convert another person into liking strippers...one person at a time, and if I can keep them on my little conversion wagon, maybe I can win over the "I don't trust sex workers" group. I'm going back to my rant now, I mean let me wrap up the night, I had some jello shots, because I love drinks that can also be food, it feels like I'm getting a deal, I went home I realized I didn't have my phone. I fell asleep for a couple of hours, woke up and started this. Went back to sleep, which I want to do again, except I'm sitting having lunch at my new secret spot, where I can pretend to be a cool kid...even though we all know Im not. I digress.
Really though strippers aren't bad people, I mean sure we fuck up like everyone else, but somehow when we do it it's a way bigger deal, like clinton, somehow if we disappoint someone it feels like we are letting the whole nation down somehow or like whomever we have disappointed is going to tell the whole nation. I guess I'm still upset about the the cheese. I feel like, if I hurt his feelings that much maybe it would be in his best interest not to kick it with me anymore, especially if he is going to be upset the entire time about what I do, or my failure to do things. If it was me and I felt it was in my best interest to say things that could be deemed as hurtful in hopes of the other person learning a lesson and bringing us closer together I might just walk away from them as they obviously aren't the person for me. Especially if I said that the person they pretend to be and the person they put out to the world is a lie and they are nothing like that person, although I believe they want to be that person, but that person is not at all who they really are. I really feel like that isn't something you get to come back from very easily, and I don't know a lot of people who can do that type of work. Mind you yes I did keep something from them, so sure they have every right to be mad. I do feel like the fact that I work in the sex industry makes everything worse.
The cheese and bacon probably have similar feelings about me at the moment, that I have failed them entirely when they put so much time and energy into knowing me. They did so much for me, they were always there for me. The thing is...I'm one of those people who there is always a moment one definitave moment in which I know what any effort after that moment is totally pointless. Bacon, bacon, I just tried to be friends with but the rollarcoster ride of emotions was way to much and it threw off my moeney at workd. Our jobs are totally emotion based,and if we are in a bad mood we can't work, I spent so many nights text fighting with someone who was suppose to be my friend at work that I literally made no money, like really no money. I don't know why I'm writing about this shit, it has nothing really to do with work. I think I'm writiting about it because i said I would write about whatever is/was on my mind, and even though part of me is really thinking about these thigh high boots I really want that are $119 at fantasy unlimited and how I feel like they are the most perfect things ever, and they are the reason I'm going to work tonight, and that i've gone out a lot in the past couple of days. But god damn these boots would make me just the hottest I've been in a while.
The cheese really hurt my feelings and this is the last time I'm going to write about him, there are 100 other things I could be writing about. But regardless of wether or not the things he has said are fair or vaild he said while we were fighting that I didn't deserve him. That he deserved way better than me and it was right then I wondered why the fuck he was still sitting with me. Then the other night in the ER he said he should have called someone else since I showed up and he didn't know I was there, then...whatever you read the story already. He does deserve better than me, he deserves someone who isn't so icy, someone who is impressed by how attractive he his, or how much money he makes, or the parties he's thrown. Sadly I don't care about any of those things. He only talks about how there are a million other women he could be and is banging, or how they care more about him. How famous he is for his parties how so many people know him, how he is a bigger deal than me (which isn't hard to do). As for the money i've covered enough stuff and when you get mad and say that the show ticket I didn't use because you were screaming at me earlier that day and I didn't think I was invited and the groceries could all get lumped together in shit that was wasted. Or the uber i asked you to get for me because I didn't have any cash, and you ask me to not fuck up your stars...you smoked in an apartment that was previously started on fire by someone smoking in it and kept me from getting it...fuck your stupid stars. I'm not impressed by your money then, because if you made so much it wouldn't be a big deal about $100. Saying you should have called someone else. Also apologizing for getting assualted, and ruining my night, "when I could have been at work", and being sorry "you called me", is not FUCKING APOLOGIZING, It's making me feel bad for showing up, doing what you asked, and then somehow that not being good enough.
Ugh, fuck this I'm going to work. Or I'm going to get my phone 1st and then I'm going to work.
So..I'm getting out there on my time off I'm meeting people I'm making new friends I'm drinking more, which I think is good for me it gets me out of my head a little bit and makes me a little more motivated to work and a little more fun when i do work since I have something to talk about. I mean has the 1940 edition of betty crocker said, go out for a walk in the afternoon so you have something to talk about with your husband over dinner, I need something to talk about besides how my life revolves around work sometimes.
So as I'm out tonight (last night now, so I'm going to change the tense of my writing here pretty quick) trying to forget about the stress in my life, I ran into a friend of a friend of a girlfriend of mine tonight at one of my favorite bars. I thought I would pick up an old habit, the habit of telling people right off the bat that I'm s stripper. So I started tonight and it never ceases to amaze me the way people react. I'm offically too tired to write I just fell asleep with my head in my hand I'll revisit this over lunch. Alright 8 hours later I need to decide where I'm eating and writing. Okay hours and hours later. Let the hour of writing begin. I need to start bringing my glasses with me places. I still don't have my phone. Part of me wants to get rid of my phone all together and just get a land line. How cool would it be to call someones home phone and leave them messages. Maybe I would be on time more often then since I wouldn't have the option of telling someone I was going to be late. Also I've been getting a lot of bad news lately via the telephone so I'm not really the biggest fan of it as of late what can I say I'm a horribly adjusted adult, not really I just don't like having my feelings hurt so someone can "teach me a lesson" and make themselves feel better, and since my feelings aren't ilegitamate, but they aren't valid or warrented it's not really a reason for me to walk all the way to the end of my neighborhood and retreive my phone...although I could be paddleboarding right now...RIGHT BATMAN I CAN'T BRING MY PHONE ON THE WATER!
Back to how people react to me being a stripper they either run away which legit happened once, let me tell you being left at a sporting event nothing something I want to do again. So I tell lets call him kevin bacon since it's like 6 degrees between me and he and how we actually know each other. That I'm a stripper mind you kevin bacon is a professor (yay academia they tend to think i'm pretty okay) he just looks at me for a second and blinks, I say he can run away, and he doesn't, he goes into a similar speech a lot of people go into about how great strippers are, and how he has no problem with them...Which is great, maybe I can convert another person into liking strippers...one person at a time, and if I can keep them on my little conversion wagon, maybe I can win over the "I don't trust sex workers" group. I'm going back to my rant now, I mean let me wrap up the night, I had some jello shots, because I love drinks that can also be food, it feels like I'm getting a deal, I went home I realized I didn't have my phone. I fell asleep for a couple of hours, woke up and started this. Went back to sleep, which I want to do again, except I'm sitting having lunch at my new secret spot, where I can pretend to be a cool kid...even though we all know Im not. I digress.
Really though strippers aren't bad people, I mean sure we fuck up like everyone else, but somehow when we do it it's a way bigger deal, like clinton, somehow if we disappoint someone it feels like we are letting the whole nation down somehow or like whomever we have disappointed is going to tell the whole nation. I guess I'm still upset about the the cheese. I feel like, if I hurt his feelings that much maybe it would be in his best interest not to kick it with me anymore, especially if he is going to be upset the entire time about what I do, or my failure to do things. If it was me and I felt it was in my best interest to say things that could be deemed as hurtful in hopes of the other person learning a lesson and bringing us closer together I might just walk away from them as they obviously aren't the person for me. Especially if I said that the person they pretend to be and the person they put out to the world is a lie and they are nothing like that person, although I believe they want to be that person, but that person is not at all who they really are. I really feel like that isn't something you get to come back from very easily, and I don't know a lot of people who can do that type of work. Mind you yes I did keep something from them, so sure they have every right to be mad. I do feel like the fact that I work in the sex industry makes everything worse.
The cheese and bacon probably have similar feelings about me at the moment, that I have failed them entirely when they put so much time and energy into knowing me. They did so much for me, they were always there for me. The thing is...I'm one of those people who there is always a moment one definitave moment in which I know what any effort after that moment is totally pointless. Bacon, bacon, I just tried to be friends with but the rollarcoster ride of emotions was way to much and it threw off my moeney at workd. Our jobs are totally emotion based,and if we are in a bad mood we can't work, I spent so many nights text fighting with someone who was suppose to be my friend at work that I literally made no money, like really no money. I don't know why I'm writing about this shit, it has nothing really to do with work. I think I'm writiting about it because i said I would write about whatever is/was on my mind, and even though part of me is really thinking about these thigh high boots I really want that are $119 at fantasy unlimited and how I feel like they are the most perfect things ever, and they are the reason I'm going to work tonight, and that i've gone out a lot in the past couple of days. But god damn these boots would make me just the hottest I've been in a while.
The cheese really hurt my feelings and this is the last time I'm going to write about him, there are 100 other things I could be writing about. But regardless of wether or not the things he has said are fair or vaild he said while we were fighting that I didn't deserve him. That he deserved way better than me and it was right then I wondered why the fuck he was still sitting with me. Then the other night in the ER he said he should have called someone else since I showed up and he didn't know I was there, then...whatever you read the story already. He does deserve better than me, he deserves someone who isn't so icy, someone who is impressed by how attractive he his, or how much money he makes, or the parties he's thrown. Sadly I don't care about any of those things. He only talks about how there are a million other women he could be and is banging, or how they care more about him. How famous he is for his parties how so many people know him, how he is a bigger deal than me (which isn't hard to do). As for the money i've covered enough stuff and when you get mad and say that the show ticket I didn't use because you were screaming at me earlier that day and I didn't think I was invited and the groceries could all get lumped together in shit that was wasted. Or the uber i asked you to get for me because I didn't have any cash, and you ask me to not fuck up your stars...you smoked in an apartment that was previously started on fire by someone smoking in it and kept me from getting it...fuck your stupid stars. I'm not impressed by your money then, because if you made so much it wouldn't be a big deal about $100. Saying you should have called someone else. Also apologizing for getting assualted, and ruining my night, "when I could have been at work", and being sorry "you called me", is not FUCKING APOLOGIZING, It's making me feel bad for showing up, doing what you asked, and then somehow that not being good enough.
Ugh, fuck this I'm going to work. Or I'm going to get my phone 1st and then I'm going to work.
Monday, June 22, 2015
The hosptial is my new hang out
So I took the night off last night. (Batman, you were right only I was summoned to the hospital) I took it off to hang out with a person who's view on me taking the night off is "You shouldn't take the night off to hang out with me you should take the night off for you because you want to hang out with me, or you will end up resenting me" Well kiddo your right I will end up resenting you, but for a a few other reasons, like you always turn things around on me to be my fault, you don't belive in me, you don't think writing is a good idea, you smoked in an apartment I was excited about getting and totally killed my chances of getting it, you and another "friend" of mine. So taking the night off is one of the low list items, I will also resent you especially when you get mad at me when I show up to the er, first you want me to leave, then you want me to stay, then you want me to leave so I go home and you get mad and say you should have called someone else because I don't care about you. People these days. I could have been at work having a normal sunday night.
So I said I was going to write a book and I've been tasked with writing for an hour a day, about anything and publishing it here to matter what. I've got the writing part down lately it's just the publishing. I'm still worried about offending people. The thing is I don't use anyones names so what does it matter who or what I write about i've got to quit being so scared of shit this year. I mean I guess anyone would be a little leary after my year. I guess I'm going to have to go back and post what I've been writing about these past few days.
A man in a searsucker suit just sat down next to me. I wonder if people know I'm a stripper based on what I look like during the day. I wonder if the make-up still perfectly applied from the night before gives it away, even though I didn't work last night. I had every intention of going to a goth night...So I threw on the ol hooker face, and as I was getting ready that's when I got the text of "I was assualted" So this friend of mine likes to talk a lot of shit to people and mildly thinks of the consequences. I've seen him almost get hit in the face before...mind you he does do this shit for some of the right reasons, I just think he takes it too far...I've seen him take it a little farther than he should and when he does it's kind of entertaining he changes his gate to have a little more bounce and he drags his toes and hunches his shoulders it's like his poker tell. He loves to provocte people and he knows/knew it would backfire eventually, so last night he apparently asked two girls not to throw a cup of ice on the ground, they called him some names apparently, and then magically a man came out from around a corner, asked him what happened and as he was looking away bro smashed him in the face. Split his lip open and dropped him, so the cheese that's what we will call him the cheese thinks he had brass knuckles or a roll of quarters or something. I think it was probably just a ring. Anyway I'm not sure how this can escalate so quickly without provocation. Anywho he's currently locked out of his house and was last night as well and was mad I didn't invite him over, which I personally thought was a bad idea I had just yelled at my roommate to get the fuck out of my room, and I was calling the crisis hotline to try and figure out what to do with her, so heaven forbid that don't invite you over when it's the middle of me trying to make sure someone elses mental health is safe. I'm sure a bunch of you are really worried right now. Don't be. I'm totally fine trust me I wouldn't be writing this about them if I wasn't safe. I swear I'm going to bring this back to stripping any minute now.
He thinks I have a tell as well. We were fighting one day he thought I had lied to him and he said something about discovering that I'm a prostitute and I almost started laughing and I had a hard time not screaming at him in public so instead I said I didn't care, and he totally freaked out saying "that's all i need to hear is that you don't care, I don't know why I'm sitting here wasting my time" This is also why I think he didn't just magically get hit in the facel
I lump this person in with all the other crazies in my life right now. I don't know what it is or why it is that I attract them but for some reason I do and it makes me second guess anyone in my life. I blame it on stripping I guess, but not really I think that stripping dancing is more of a reminder that everything is temporary and not everything needs to be super serious. That being said. I'm going to spell check this later and take a nap. I think my hour is up. and my drink is almost gone. I'll be blogging everyday from a different location, and eating a drinking different things, I made a promise to be more social lately so I'm going to try and kill two birds with one stone.
So... I'm going to get rid of some extraneous weight in my life, maybe you should too.
So I said I was going to write a book and I've been tasked with writing for an hour a day, about anything and publishing it here to matter what. I've got the writing part down lately it's just the publishing. I'm still worried about offending people. The thing is I don't use anyones names so what does it matter who or what I write about i've got to quit being so scared of shit this year. I mean I guess anyone would be a little leary after my year. I guess I'm going to have to go back and post what I've been writing about these past few days.
A man in a searsucker suit just sat down next to me. I wonder if people know I'm a stripper based on what I look like during the day. I wonder if the make-up still perfectly applied from the night before gives it away, even though I didn't work last night. I had every intention of going to a goth night...So I threw on the ol hooker face, and as I was getting ready that's when I got the text of "I was assualted" So this friend of mine likes to talk a lot of shit to people and mildly thinks of the consequences. I've seen him almost get hit in the face before...mind you he does do this shit for some of the right reasons, I just think he takes it too far...I've seen him take it a little farther than he should and when he does it's kind of entertaining he changes his gate to have a little more bounce and he drags his toes and hunches his shoulders it's like his poker tell. He loves to provocte people and he knows/knew it would backfire eventually, so last night he apparently asked two girls not to throw a cup of ice on the ground, they called him some names apparently, and then magically a man came out from around a corner, asked him what happened and as he was looking away bro smashed him in the face. Split his lip open and dropped him, so the cheese that's what we will call him the cheese thinks he had brass knuckles or a roll of quarters or something. I think it was probably just a ring. Anyway I'm not sure how this can escalate so quickly without provocation. Anywho he's currently locked out of his house and was last night as well and was mad I didn't invite him over, which I personally thought was a bad idea I had just yelled at my roommate to get the fuck out of my room, and I was calling the crisis hotline to try and figure out what to do with her, so heaven forbid that don't invite you over when it's the middle of me trying to make sure someone elses mental health is safe. I'm sure a bunch of you are really worried right now. Don't be. I'm totally fine trust me I wouldn't be writing this about them if I wasn't safe. I swear I'm going to bring this back to stripping any minute now.
He thinks I have a tell as well. We were fighting one day he thought I had lied to him and he said something about discovering that I'm a prostitute and I almost started laughing and I had a hard time not screaming at him in public so instead I said I didn't care, and he totally freaked out saying "that's all i need to hear is that you don't care, I don't know why I'm sitting here wasting my time" This is also why I think he didn't just magically get hit in the facel
I lump this person in with all the other crazies in my life right now. I don't know what it is or why it is that I attract them but for some reason I do and it makes me second guess anyone in my life. I blame it on stripping I guess, but not really I think that stripping dancing is more of a reminder that everything is temporary and not everything needs to be super serious. That being said. I'm going to spell check this later and take a nap. I think my hour is up. and my drink is almost gone. I'll be blogging everyday from a different location, and eating a drinking different things, I made a promise to be more social lately so I'm going to try and kill two birds with one stone.
So... I'm going to get rid of some extraneous weight in my life, maybe you should too.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
you look funny
I'm having crazy writers block I want so badly to write what's on my mind but I've been writing for you guys for so long it seems so foreign to write anything that may be offensive. I literally want to write about all the crazy shit that's happened who's fucked who in the elevator, who's started a clique war. Who has stabbed someone who almost killed someone with a shoe. I'm so tired of talking about the trivial shit but I think it's going to take me a minute to get back to writing about the shit I really care about of the shit that I find interesting...So here it goes.
Lately I've been into taking some time off of the time I've been doing this, I wanted to see if it affected my sales at all and honestly it does. I sat down with a dude I've danced for before tonight but not for a long time, I somehow convinced him he's never seen me before. I remembered he was a big tipper so it seemed in my best interest to just play up sexy and act like I had no fucking clue who he is. I mean lately sexy has been hard as fuck for me to do. I think I've been reading to many articles about beauty standards in society. Anyway, as we are sitting there talking about golf he said..."You are so pretty, and so unique looking I've never seen anyone like you." I wasn't sure if I should take this as a compliment or not, all of a sudden I felt like i was some sort of semi sexy alien or something. I get strange ass fucking compliments all the time, like tonight I was cool, to all the LA cool kids I was cool, I was smart, I told inappropriate jokes at the right time, and I was gorgeous. I was ill timed with my proposition of dances but I was super hot. Previously I've been majestic and statue like, perfect, the vision of a goddess, etc.
It's funny as soon as I leave work I go back to being normal, this is a totally new(ish) development. Previously I would leave work and always be on, I was always hot and always sexy...I made one big mistake that fucked off my whole immaculate vision of myself. I STARTED DATING...and subsequently ended dating as well.
I am done being normal. I know I can't change overnight but a week ago I made whatever choice about work and I've been sticking to it. I'm sticking to this one too, it's adventure and enjoy my life time, I can't be such a god damn worry wort.
Lately I've been into taking some time off of the time I've been doing this, I wanted to see if it affected my sales at all and honestly it does. I sat down with a dude I've danced for before tonight but not for a long time, I somehow convinced him he's never seen me before. I remembered he was a big tipper so it seemed in my best interest to just play up sexy and act like I had no fucking clue who he is. I mean lately sexy has been hard as fuck for me to do. I think I've been reading to many articles about beauty standards in society. Anyway, as we are sitting there talking about golf he said..."You are so pretty, and so unique looking I've never seen anyone like you." I wasn't sure if I should take this as a compliment or not, all of a sudden I felt like i was some sort of semi sexy alien or something. I get strange ass fucking compliments all the time, like tonight I was cool, to all the LA cool kids I was cool, I was smart, I told inappropriate jokes at the right time, and I was gorgeous. I was ill timed with my proposition of dances but I was super hot. Previously I've been majestic and statue like, perfect, the vision of a goddess, etc.
It's funny as soon as I leave work I go back to being normal, this is a totally new(ish) development. Previously I would leave work and always be on, I was always hot and always sexy...I made one big mistake that fucked off my whole immaculate vision of myself. I STARTED DATING...and subsequently ended dating as well.
I am done being normal. I know I can't change overnight but a week ago I made whatever choice about work and I've been sticking to it. I'm sticking to this one too, it's adventure and enjoy my life time, I can't be such a god damn worry wort.
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