Dear Modest Mouse, I'm sorry I borrowed your lyrics a little bit, I hope that's okay. You've been my favorite band for almost 15 years.
Anyway, tonight was one of those nights I didn't want to go to work, but I didn't want to be at home. I don't want to be at home very much right now at all anyways. My interloper and friends (name of a terrible sitcom on abc this fall) are driving me crazy. Especially since all of a sudden I can't find 5 david yurman pieces and a tiffanys bangle. I'm really hoping it's just misplaced at the moment and that moved the bag they were in last night when I was tired and that they were not being scallywags and absconding with my finery. Which reminds me I'll be heading to the pawn shops tomorrow to try and find them...after I turn this place upside down. Regardless of that having someone in your home all the time is really hard, especially when I really want to be alone, or i expect my popsiciles to be in the freezer, or my cereal to be mostly there, waking me up because her cohort has annoyed her. I hate being at home right now...I also love knowing that she happens to talk about me behind my back saying what a bitch I am...Yes I am a huge bitch, it's a well known fact, it's basically the 1st chapter in the book of red. I wonder if I'm such a huge bitch why she stays.
This whole blog post is about what a bitch I am, how much I love work, happiness and it's correlation to work. Maybe this will be a multi-part post...If I remember
All of these factors lead to me want to escape by going to work. Baby and I were talking about it tonight near the end of the night, work has become our escape even though we aren't making a ton of money right now. (Dear #StripperDeites fucking help) Work is were our friends our, we don't have to stress about the same things we have to stress about in the "real world". So for a few brief hours it's a total escape. Even if you want to stress about things outside of work you have to get over it pretty quick or you can't work. Luckily I/we work somewhere, where we can talk about what's going on with some of our closest friends who know our deepest darkest secrets, and our most rational and irrational fears. Although it generally prevails that we all like each other (which is crazy when you think about it 15-50 women all together competing for money based on what they look like(sort of), our knowledge of anything and everything, and the cut of our jib.) sometimes it happens that we don't get along.
Tonight I was in the bathroom with nev, fiddling on my phone, and Versailles knocked on the door, nev asked her to wait a minute, versailles started tapping her toe impatiently, I can't remember the exact conversation at that point I don't know if I said something or if she did, however nev said she would hurry up or that she didn't need to act like that or something and Versailles was super annoyed, nev and I leave the bathroom. Versailles makes that Agh sound and slams the door like a 17 year old trying to punish their parents, I am not a parent and I was annoyed and tired and in a generally bad mood, so I kick the door open and proceed to say...Are you doing this thing, this paticular thing...What if I am?...You don't need to be fucking rude, I get that you want your privacy, I totally get it but that was fucking uncalled for...You know what red, whenever I need to use the bathroom you either come in and don't respect my privacy(which is true I do, do this sometimes, but I'm working on it, which no one knows because I don't make it known, hence the #tweetsfromthemensroom then I don't have to interupt anyone and I have my own stall and no one banging on the door, or disregarding the fact that the garbage can is in fromt of it to keep it from flying open and opening the door spewing the contents of the rubbish unless one jumps up from the toilet and catches it hopefully without having piss run down their leg, it's choosing the lesser of two evils at times. Or sometimes you ask them to wait a second and they can't hear you so they open the door to say "what" which makes zero sense to me.)...Still you don't need to be a fucking bitch about the whole thing...whatever fuck you...you know what bitch just so you know I picked up your fucking make-up bag and put it on top of your fucking locker after you were talking about people fucking stealing...I didn't leave my fucking make-up bag out...Yes you fucking did...She storms out of the locker room slamming two doors and talking about what a fucking cunt I am...at that moment I seriously considered dumping her make-up bag out...but I didn't.
I know this seems like a strange way to tell someone you did something nice for them and it was, and I know it seems like this escalated really quick...and it did...It all started earlier in the night when I actually got to work. I walked back to my corner to get ready and Nev and Versailles were taking up the whole space, and both of them were bitching about something. Versailles doesn't know what volume her voice is at most of the time, and it annoys the shit out of me. I was super tired when I got there so I put my head down for a minute and the two of them talking about whatever the fuck they were talking about annoyed the crap out of me and kept me from getting a 15min power nap in...which I then put another 10 min on and in the following 10min Versailles needed to get in her locker and apparently I was in the way, so she screeched "Red" to which I responded "FUCK SERIOUSLY" because I was basically asleep and I instantaneously realized that my efforts were pointless...So it was all building up.
When she came back in from stage she was slamming her locker and stomping around. So I stepped between her and the exit and said...I'm really sorry I yelled at you, and I told you so on your make-up bag...Thanks, I'm sorry too. Then we had the conversation that's in parentheses above. The thing that gets me on this is I seriously think that in a way Nev loves this kind of drama, as I looked up a couple of times I caught her in the mirror intently watching what was going on, and had this tiny little approving smirk on her face, eventually she chimed in about the bathroom conversation.
The girls I work with crack me up, I'm glad Versailles and I worked it out, I'm still waiting for the day Nev and I get into it, I know she doesn't like me, I think she tolerates me, I think she tolerates me because we have worked together for years...she once wanted me to catch her as she hoped off stage this was in my heavier days since I'm sure I looked sturdier at the time...Jumping at someone who is wearing 7+ inch heals and expecting them to catch you is a terrible idea, luckily no one died, obviously since it was quite some time ago and I'm still alive and writing this. Anyway that girl has a mouth on her and I'm not scared of her but I'm expecting it will go like most verbal things in my world...badly I as exhibited above at times do not know what to say, I could have called Versailles out on a bunch of shit right then and there but I didn't think it was a good idea...hence the "I picked up your fucking make-up bag bitch, your welcome". Nev however I'm not so sure we've worked together a long time and we both have dirt on each other. GVS strikes again.
Speaking of Dirt stand by for my next blog post...Ladies I work with it's important.
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