Screams from the haters

as kanye says has a nice ring to it. I suppose I should have considered the scrutiny my blog would under go. HONESTLY FUCK IT. I've decided that how I feel is directly correlated to what I look like at times, and I'm fucking amazing, or so I've been told, so I am just going to start believing it. That being said, I was having a chit chat with skinny the other night and it brought me back, way back, back to the days when darlings was cracking, and I didn't have to worry about girls handing out stds, for the same price I give an std free dance. Anyway, I was bitching as normal about how men find me intimidating and blah, blah, blah, (he is also the one that said you can't make a hoe a housewife). Skinny always says the right thing to get my head straight. He said

LET THEM BE SCARED

For some reason tonight that is what is sticking after the hate mail I've been reading, the calls I've been missing, and the sleep I haven't been getting. I'm not scared of being told no, it means it's time to move on and my time isn't free, my time is fucking money if I'm writing, if I'm headed to PDX, if I'm putting together packages for my favorite customers or designing new swag, heads up I went to art school so I'll design shit if I want to and call it art voila'. Tonight I'm going in as I always go in with a great attitude, underwear that matches, rather than the ratty period panties girls want to wear, whatever to each their own. To quote another one of my favorite get ready for work songs which is "Loud Mouths" by "Wise Blood" off of "These wings" and the lyric goes a little something like this...Actually lets just post all the lyrics...

Your beautitudes are shaking

You don't know shit and its blatant

You gotta take a step back and be patient

I'm throwing shots at your frame because your new and romantic

But there's still hope if you hear what I'm saying

You've got those loud bitches loud bitches telling you lies

Don't listen to those girls they're just snakes in disguise

You've got the truth coming to ya and you gotta see

Gotta step up your game if you want to roll with me

Prophesy, Prophesy you had been dead by 18

Oh mercy me I landed back on my feet

And I've got such tighter arms, to help me move along, become the man I know I'm supposed to be

We can head to the show, or throw powder up your nose,

And when I make some money I'll buy you clothes

And if you like this life, you should hold on tight,

I'm going to make it, and you know I'm right.

You've got those loud bitches loud bitches telling you lies

Don't listen to those girls they're just snakes in disguise

You've got the truth coming to ya and you gotta see

Gotta step up your game if you want to roll with me.

As we know scared money don't make money, If you don't have haters you aint poppin (almost said hatters which would be funnier if you don't have haberdashers you aint poppin) 

Oddly enough someone, I hope to never see again, introduced me to that song as a way to remember that those bitches be are not your friends, and will do anything, to watch you fall. So...boo. Welcome to Sunday, I'll be in around 9 come say hi. We can talk about my drivel I spew. If not I'll be on periscope as usual come by and say hi there, or do what you normally do on a Sunday. Remember Monday is one day closer to Friday and Tuesday is the new Friday. OH and I'm acting dumb tonight so it should be a good time.

I made it till this weekend without getting puked on

So as you know I was in portland this weekend and as per usual I had no sleep which meant more than anything I was a crazy person who had not had a shower hell I still haven't showered in ohh about 4 days...sexy, bet you want to get all up in that. I know I would, but I've also been sitting on the couch thinking of ways to monotize periscope nothing has worked yet. I thought I would hit up etsy and buy a few things and ask if I could talk about them thought my broadcast. I've been hit with a I don't pay for models or advertising. Which isn't even what I was saying I was saying more of a trade I should have made that clearer I suppose anyway back to the vomit.

So in portland you can name your own prices on dances, mine are expensive because well I'm an expensive broad. So this guy gets a few dances, and then asks to be reminded how much a fully nude dance is and I say $100 he accepts, so I begrudingly take my panties off and proceed to give him a dance I stand up and turn around, and bend over and just as I'm half way up it sounds like he's having  a seizure and thats when the tiniest splash hits me, I turn around and there is vomit everywhere and he's puking and apologizing and I'm laughing because I can't help it and start telling embarrassing stories about myself drinking too much. He keeps saying how beautiful I am and that it's even more embaressing because of that. I laugh harder because so what I'm a pretty girl I puke too who fucking cares.

We go out to run his card I tell him he should tip me he throws on an extra $20, and i'm like bro I have vom on me so how about 100 and I won't tell anyone you puked all over the prettiest girl you've ever seen.

Stay weird portland stay weird.

Rattled, and that's saying something.

It takes a lot to rattle me, I've heard it all I've seen it all. Guy with a dildo in his jacket. The couple that tried to corner me. The guns in various places and pockets, but nothing quite like tonight.

Tonight started out like any other night. I was running late, I'm always fucking late. Jud, said I could come in late if I brought cake so I ran to the store and bought a cake, I'm not missing work over something stupid like time. Anyway I arrive, I get on periscope, if you don't follow me on periscope you should I'm hilarious. My views were back up were they should be which is around 2000 with 1700 replays thus far. so FUCK YOU SCOPE I'M BACK! Anyway moving on to the creepy part.

I walk out on the floor and I'm scanning the crowd there is one guy with no one on his lap, fine, talk to everyone you never know when you are going to make a sale. I sit down and ask him his name, he tells me. I ask him if he means "like in reference to a Disney prince" he says "sure I've never thought of it like that" we get to chatting and I start talking...and all of a sudden he interrupts me and says..."I know who you are, which isn't uncommon for me people recognize me from the internet all the time, it's not at big deal. So I continue with my conversation, which happens to be a rather morbid I'll just leave it at that. As we continue our conversation he interjects some more about knowing me or googling me maybe I suggested he google me who knows how that turn of events happened. Anyway he said he had already and that he actually was there looking for me, and I happen to be hard to track down, which seems silly to me since I'm all over the internet.

This is the point where I get ballsy and say "You know if you are here to kill me, just do it, and do it quick" He says he's not, he said that he would however be in deep shit if he couldn't find me and he was hoping I would pop out of the wood work, I leaned to the side smiled as close to coy as I get which is more like a grimace and said well tah-fucking-dah here I am, there is a poster of me on the wall and I'm here every weekend. I start asking him vague questions to try and figure out if he's pulling my leg, because why not scare the living daylights out of a stripper seems like a good time to me. After I said the death thing he said that his client just wanted to know that I was safe, and had heard I ran off with some guy, and that even back east they were wondering what had happened to me. At which point it seemed like he was joshing because again I'm all over the damn internet like a kindergartener using rubber cement for the 1st time. Anyway he continues to go on about how I must be pretty important to quite a few people since more than one person is/was wondering where I was and what I was doing.

He then gave me his number and said if I needed anything at all not to hesitate to call him.
So either I'm super famous, or someone wants me dead, and paid money to make it happen.
DAD don't freak out. I'm totally fine, Other family members I'm fine, it was just a strange night in the basement.