It takes a lot to rattle me, I've heard it all I've seen it all. Guy with a dildo in his jacket. The couple that tried to corner me. The guns in various places and pockets, but nothing quite like tonight.
Tonight started out like any other night. I was running late, I'm always fucking late. Jud, said I could come in late if I brought cake so I ran to the store and bought a cake, I'm not missing work over something stupid like time. Anyway I arrive, I get on periscope, if you don't follow me on periscope you should I'm hilarious. My views were back up were they should be which is around 2000 with 1700 replays thus far. so FUCK YOU SCOPE I'M BACK! Anyway moving on to the creepy part.
I walk out on the floor and I'm scanning the crowd there is one guy with no one on his lap, fine, talk to everyone you never know when you are going to make a sale. I sit down and ask him his name, he tells me. I ask him if he means "like in reference to a Disney prince" he says "sure I've never thought of it like that" we get to chatting and I start talking...and all of a sudden he interrupts me and says..."I know who you are, which isn't uncommon for me people recognize me from the internet all the time, it's not at big deal. So I continue with my conversation, which happens to be a rather morbid I'll just leave it at that. As we continue our conversation he interjects some more about knowing me or googling me maybe I suggested he google me who knows how that turn of events happened. Anyway he said he had already and that he actually was there looking for me, and I happen to be hard to track down, which seems silly to me since I'm all over the internet.
This is the point where I get ballsy and say "You know if you are here to kill me, just do it, and do it quick" He says he's not, he said that he would however be in deep shit if he couldn't find me and he was hoping I would pop out of the wood work, I leaned to the side smiled as close to coy as I get which is more like a grimace and said well tah-fucking-dah here I am, there is a poster of me on the wall and I'm here every weekend. I start asking him vague questions to try and figure out if he's pulling my leg, because why not scare the living daylights out of a stripper seems like a good time to me. After I said the death thing he said that his client just wanted to know that I was safe, and had heard I ran off with some guy, and that even back east they were wondering what had happened to me. At which point it seemed like he was joshing because again I'm all over the damn internet like a kindergartener using rubber cement for the 1st time. Anyway he continues to go on about how I must be pretty important to quite a few people since more than one person is/was wondering where I was and what I was doing.
He then gave me his number and said if I needed anything at all not to hesitate to call him.
So either I'm super famous, or someone wants me dead, and paid money to make it happen.
DAD don't freak out. I'm totally fine, Other family members I'm fine, it was just a strange night in the basement.
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