I made it till this weekend without getting puked on

So as you know I was in portland this weekend and as per usual I had no sleep which meant more than anything I was a crazy person who had not had a shower hell I still haven't showered in ohh about 4 days...sexy, bet you want to get all up in that. I know I would, but I've also been sitting on the couch thinking of ways to monotize periscope nothing has worked yet. I thought I would hit up etsy and buy a few things and ask if I could talk about them thought my broadcast. I've been hit with a I don't pay for models or advertising. Which isn't even what I was saying I was saying more of a trade I should have made that clearer I suppose anyway back to the vomit.

So in portland you can name your own prices on dances, mine are expensive because well I'm an expensive broad. So this guy gets a few dances, and then asks to be reminded how much a fully nude dance is and I say $100 he accepts, so I begrudingly take my panties off and proceed to give him a dance I stand up and turn around, and bend over and just as I'm half way up it sounds like he's having  a seizure and thats when the tiniest splash hits me, I turn around and there is vomit everywhere and he's puking and apologizing and I'm laughing because I can't help it and start telling embarrassing stories about myself drinking too much. He keeps saying how beautiful I am and that it's even more embaressing because of that. I laugh harder because so what I'm a pretty girl I puke too who fucking cares.

We go out to run his card I tell him he should tip me he throws on an extra $20, and i'm like bro I have vom on me so how about 100 and I won't tell anyone you puked all over the prettiest girl you've ever seen.

Stay weird portland stay weird.