Time waits for no man...

luckily I'm a woman, so I'm still slowing it a little bit, I mean that's what wrinkle reducer is for correct?

I move this week thank the stripper deities that I can get back to life being normal next week. Everything goes back to how it should. Seriously, I can't stand my +1 anymore, I'm over being polite to someone who clearly does not give a shit about anyone but themselves. I of course hope he lands on his feet but I'm incredibly mad at myself for being so kind. I mean "karma is a bitch, so make sure that bitch is beautiful" at the same time I think the universe handed me a very long lost off things to learn and a very short amount of time to learn it...so check and check and check. Lessons learned, back to being the better version of myself, I know I say that every time. I've been working on more positive reinforcements lately since work has been blah.

Although it's hard for things like that to stick when every manager corp sends over gets fired right away. It seems like we are purgatory of sorts. I really wonder how long we are going to stick around considering all of Amazon going up around us, and all the retail space also going in around us. It doesn't seem like Starbucks, Amazon, and whatever other companies that obviously have the money to throw money at the city to get rid of us, would let us stay put. There is so much pressure on us from corporate right now. It's also hard. We finally got rid of a bunch of dead weight and now we are working on some more, they implement ideas without alerting us and it makes sense for those ideas to work, and also to do it during the slowest part of the year when it's hard regardless forcing us to focus. It's nice in a way, at the same time it's jarring but I suppose that's the point. Anyway, today I'm going to be the best version of myself. I am going to be a shark that smells blood in the water. I'm going to be the sexiest. I'm going to quit being so humble (it's obviously gotten me nowhere). I'm going to catch up on local current events.

 I'm going to stop talking to some people who cannot keep their mouths shut, not in a bad way, but as corporate has plans as do I...I just need something a little colder, a little more silent, a little more convincing, something that envelopes people, causes a little bit of shock, something a little chilling. What I really need is a little help from Winter.

This weekend that just happened totally sucked it was so crazy slow...however I was told on countless occasions that I'm the most attractive girl there so if I had sat down with whomever I was sitting with a few minutes earlier or if I could just come back a few minutes later and ask...now I understand buyers remorse so I'll give someone that reason...the come back later still gets me. You just said I'm the most attractive girl there so what are you waiting on exactly.


On to the annoying of the weekend which happens all the time and the entertaining and enlightening of the weekend.
I also learned while speaking with someone about burial rituals in different countries and with that I had a very long conversation about hair and its importance in various cultures and differences in genders...apparently hair is one of the hardest substances to destroy which is why it is commonly found in caskets. Also your hair doesn't continue to grow after you are dead, your skin actually shrinks around the follicle giving it the appearance of growth. I haven't fact checked this yet and I probably never will, just saying.

Back to sleep for a bit. Oh and I don't think I hit publish but in the next couple of months I'm really going to try to beat my self publish amount...and really move this thing over to Wordpress. Along with the universe giving me a laundry list of things to learn it has also given me a brand new timeline to work off of, and it's a little faster than I intended it to be, which is probably for the greater good. Looks like I'll be leaving my shadow here at the end of that timeline.

From the moment I wake up before I put on my make-up

Or really the moment I'm laying in bed and almost asleep with no actual keyboard within reach is when I realize...I gotta get my shit together. I mean it's together but I need to really get it together. I was talking to my dad about this tonight. We were talking about losing your goals and how important they are. I'm still in this apartment I hate and it is what is killing my dreams. I know, I know, I know, stop fucking bitching and do something about it...so I am. My alarm is set, I have a plan, and a goal for tomorrow. I used to have a goal each night when I went to work and I would bust my ass reaching if now I'm so nonchalant about it, and really it's time, the time that I continuously talk about that I'm so motivated for when I wrote these blogs has really come. Even if I have to paint it on my ceiling when really I should repaint this skyline of Boston and actually paint "at dawn we ride" so it can be one of the 1st things I see in the morning. I didn't make any resolutions for "my year" this year. I don't really do New Years I do new birth years. So I guess I'm starting them right now, and it's only one, follow through, not only with other people but with what I tell myself as well...like get ready at home so I can hit the floor right away. Make money like I used too. I don't know what it is but I'm more aware of feeling awkward these days...it's stupid, I'm gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and interesting, and worth it, and there is nowhere I don't belong. Call me pretentious for saying it but I'm fucking saying it. I know I've said it before but I'm saying it again. Part of me is really tired of being overly humble, of always stating the ways in which other people are great and not acknowledging the ways I'm great. I'm not putting myself down I'm just not paying myself any compliments. So again following through with a self compliment sandwich.
Follow through with my own schedule not the one wher I dick around and wait for whatever but the one where I actually plan and do things at an actual time...everyday like writing. Apparently November is big for blogging and there is is blogging challenge to write everyday. I know I'm a little late on the jump, but no reason I can't drop in right now and catch up. Writing for 30
Days is probably a really good idea for me, and would keep me focused at work, and school, and my interpersonal relationships since I'm going to have to find something to write about everyday.
I also need to follow through with responding to text/email...maybe November is the month I set my goals and complete them. I'm also going to acknowledge one goal I completed
This last year for every 3 I set. Maybe I should get some gold stars for myself while I'm at it.they are all mostly small personal goals so it shouldn't be that hard...right? RIGHT GUYS! Totally easy? Anyone? Is this thing even on?

Here's to...

the nights we don't sleep...
The secrets we keep...
The friends we make...
The insults and compliments that shower us...
The inside jokes...
The life we chose...
To the game that chose us...
To the money and the girls we married because they have been there on our best days and our worst.
To the love we have for this life that other look down on. It's hard to look down on someone in 8" heels.