Or really the moment I'm laying in bed and almost asleep with no actual keyboard within reach is when I realize...I gotta get my shit together. I mean it's together but I need to really get it together. I was talking to my dad about this tonight. We were talking about losing your goals and how important they are. I'm still in this apartment I hate and it is what is killing my dreams. I know, I know, I know, stop fucking bitching and do something about it...so I am. My alarm is set, I have a plan, and a goal for tomorrow. I used to have a goal each night when I went to work and I would bust my ass reaching if now I'm so nonchalant about it, and really it's time, the time that I continuously talk about that I'm so motivated for when I wrote these blogs has really come. Even if I have to paint it on my ceiling when really I should repaint this skyline of Boston and actually paint "at dawn we ride" so it can be one of the 1st things I see in the morning. I didn't make any resolutions for "my year" this year. I don't really do New Years I do new birth years. So I guess I'm starting them right now, and it's only one, follow through, not only with other people but with what I tell myself as well...like get ready at home so I can hit the floor right away. Make money like I used too. I don't know what it is but I'm more aware of feeling awkward these days...it's stupid, I'm gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and interesting, and worth it, and there is nowhere I don't belong. Call me pretentious for saying it but I'm fucking saying it. I know I've said it before but I'm saying it again. Part of me is really tired of being overly humble, of always stating the ways in which other people are great and not acknowledging the ways I'm great. I'm not putting myself down I'm just not paying myself any compliments. So again following through with a self compliment sandwich.
Follow through with my own schedule not the one wher I dick around and wait for whatever but the one where I actually plan and do things at an actual time...everyday like writing. Apparently November is big for blogging and there is is blogging challenge to write everyday. I know I'm a little late on the jump, but no reason I can't drop in right now and catch up. Writing for 30
Days is probably a really good idea for me, and would keep me focused at work, and school, and my interpersonal relationships since I'm going to have to find something to write about everyday.
I also need to follow through with responding to text/email...maybe November is the month I set my goals and complete them. I'm also going to acknowledge one goal I completed
This last year for every 3 I set. Maybe I should get some gold stars for myself while I'm at it.they are all mostly small personal goals so it shouldn't be that hard...right? RIGHT GUYS! Totally easy? Anyone? Is this thing even on?
No comments:
Post a Comment