First off I would like to apologize on behalf of your friends, it was highly insensitive of them to bring you into my house. Before we get into the bulk of this letter perhaps it would be best to just remind myself and you, what exactly you said to me. "This is a sin, and you really need to learn about fashion" "Excuse me?" "THIS IS A SIN, HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?!" "I love my job, I chose it, it didn't choose me." "I hope you have plans beyond this" " I do, I study accounting" "Do you have a husband?" "No" "Good, you don't deserve one, no man should be with a woman that does this"
Hazel, rarely do people get under my skin. Rarely do people so ignorant to the world cross my path, but you, you my dear are a peach, bless your heart. If you are unfamiliar with the southern phrases I suggest you look a few these up.
First and foremost, I do know about fashion, as we discussed, I've worked in it for what feels like forever.
In some senses you're right, you can't make a hoe a housewife, but apparently you are failing at being a wife as well, good luck with your divorce. This letter isn't about pointing out your flaws, it's about making points.
I understand you are religious by thinking this is a sin...a dear friend of mine sent me a few text this morning to remind me that when push comes to shove, your god may judge me by my sins, but you Hazel, by condoning my actions does not mean you are exempt from your gods judgement, there will be a day when he judges you too. While we are on the subject of religion let me kindly remind you that Mary M in the bible was a prostitute, mind you I'm not a prostitute, there are things I can't do, things I won't do. Mary M, she may not have been in the boys only last supper club but that didn't mean he didn't care about her any less or because of her profession she was any less worthy of being loved. I believe if I remember correctly from my childhood that was the whole point of her story.
Hazel, I know I shouldn't have let your comment get underneath my skin the way it did, maybe I'm getting old and my skin is thinning (um? no.). It really did, maybe it's due to the fact that I have been told in my life that you can't make a hoe a housewife.I've been broken up with every time because of my job. It's never what I do it's the time it takes for me to do what I do, that I do my job during prime going out time, that my job makes me tired, that I don't have time fore anyone. Hazel I hope you understand that not only do I not have a husband, but I also don't have a boyfriend. I'm sure this all sounds very lonely to you, so please listen when I tell you what I do have. I have a dog, that is always happy to see me. I have friends that help me though the worst days, and laugh with me on the best days. I have a beautiful home, the opportunity for education, an amazing view, and very non-judgemental parents. Most of all I have a job that affords me the flexibility that I need to succeed.
Hazel although you may not think I'm worth marrying. I do. I think I'm worth being with. I think that regardless of all the bad that goes with this job, not all of that bad goes with me. I typically don't toot my own horn, but for you hazel I feel like I must. I'm smart, I'm funny, I'm gorgeous, I'm capable of put up with ignorant people like yourself.
A friends once said "Red, you don't need a man to buy you diamonds" She was right, I don't, and I also don't need the judgement of a lonely woman to tell me if I'm actually worthy of being loved by a man, because DAMMIT I AM.
I've spent about 1/2 my life in the south and am used to her type. It's hard, but don't let her get to you. They measure everyone to impossible standards and when they can't measure up they take it out on others.
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well spoken... 'nuff said
ReplyDeleteI hope Hazel reads this.
ReplyDeleteHazel,
I sincerely hope that you live well enough that someday you realize the error in your judgmental ways.
I used to judge people, automatically debasing them based on small pieces of information, tiny glimpses at their lives. I wouldn't say anything like you did to Red, but I expect the disgust was evident in my manner and in my eyes.
The day I gave up on that kind of hate was a beginning of a much happier life for me, one with more possibilities.
I have a general disdain for humanity, but a love for people. This may seem contradictory, but humans as a species are horrible, disgusting, brutal. People as individuals are generally interesting, compassionate creatures.
You missed the mark on Red. I've known Red for a short while now. I have found her to be amongst the most interested people I've met. Most people will start conversations so they can talk about themselves--Red is always genuinely interested in other people.
Red is respectful and polite--things I value that I am starting to believe are dying qualities. You, Hazel, certainly do nothing to change by beliefs on this.
Red works her ass off. If half the population had half of Red's drive this world would be a much better place.
I don't need to talk about Red's confidence, her intelligence, sense of humor or her grace. Hazel, you met her. You talked to her. You insulted her. If these qualities weren't evident to you throughout that interaction, the fault lies in you, Hazel.
Hazel, we've all made mistakes. Some of us learn from them, some repeat them ad infinitum. Some of us need a book of fables to tell us how to be good people, some get past the book and simply become good people.
I hope you can rid yourself of your hate.
You are not your profession, You are a dynamic and interesting individual. In a world full of fools you stand out as an intelligent and good person. Well done!!
ReplyDeleteBless her heart, indeed.
ReplyDelete