Past sex lives since... I know, I know, I know, I have been single for a billion and a half years.
Bella said some funny things the other night like "Let's go dry hump some dicks for money" "I haven't gotten laid so long I don't remember who was the president"
On that note it's amazing how many dances I've sold telling people past sex stories, or how talking about math and money can turn people on in bed, in my past experiences.
Last weekend I told a little white lie...I didn't actually have sex so I made up a story and it was a slow night so what the hell change the hustle. So I gave people the option of either a) getting a dance from me b) being told the story of how I had sex for the first time in a long time or c) both It was amazing how many people chose C. I might have to make this part of my slow night hustle.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Public, Privet, and Secret lives OMG PICTURE INCLUDED
Everyone lives three lives, or so batman tells me, the more I think about it the more he's correct.
Although I feel like sometimes my privet life and my public life are one in the same, but that's more a personal problem than anything else. So here we go lets dive in shall we folks.
My public life as you know it I'm a student I study accounting. I'm constantly thinking about ways to improve business make new businesses (yes batman I'm a working on a business plan, Semi I want to go over it with you as well, if I can ever catch a day where I'm not deathly ill...Just kidding all better, and down literally only 7lbs WHOOOO) trying to help those around me succeed all whilst being successful for those of you reading this you obviously know that I'm a stripper...and if you didn't then there is the shocker for the day, hide your husbands and your wives, again kidding, you will have to excuse me I haven't been sleeping very much lately midterms and all so I think I'm hilarious but you may think I'm not. Also on the public life...I'm like a very expensive piece of furniture at my club (only because I have given them oh lets round down and skip all the vip rooms I've done and say they come out in the wash for the very few deals I have ever needed to in the ball park of over 20k I mean when I write it out it seems like a deal wait that per month it comes out to around 100k that tuition at a great school, instead I'm trying to convince people I'm attractive maybe now is a good time for a photo for those of you that don't know me, disregard you've already seen it,
The privet life thing is a little different, being a stripper is something I don't scream at the top of my lungs or go to protests dressed in all white with a big ass glittery sign equating the tuition spike to the number of dances I'm going to have to do. I keep it a little quieter, but lately, it's been coming out a little more, hence the confusion of public vs. privet. There are parts of this life you can't hide, like rolling into class on a Monday or Friday with slept in hooker face. Telling lab partners what you do and finding out they used to be married to a stripper late night like this. I'm so tired of staying up late. I hope I get to sleep at the dr. today. But my privet life is so much more than that it's this whole world, the the world I can't tell my parents about, it's the world I want everyone to understand but I know that they won't. It's the one thing write now that I really want to change amongst another million things I want to change...Like getting an hour of sleep on my couch I want to change that. Wait it's 8am I can finally put shit in the dryer. Sorry losing focus, sometimes this is my only outlet for my privet life. I used to tell friends what I was doing and they would all, always give me the same face...the RED, your too good for this and I worry about you face, and I would always have to reassure them that I was a big girl who could take care of herself which I'm pretty sure I have proved time and time again, with a few punches here, a few sit the fucks down there.
Then there is your secret life. Very few of you know about my secret life and if you do, you know I'm at a crux I'm at a point where I need to start making some choices on what I'm going to do right now. Holy shit we are fading fast. Sometimes I wish I could show people my privet life, and have them understand it, and not have it be a thing. Right now most of my life is so compartmentalized and so privet that my closest friends well that's not true Bulliet knows what's going on but very few other people do, and i'm perfectly okay with that. Excuse my grammar as it goes to shit as I star to do the head nod, which means I need to get at least one hour of sleep tonight/today, who knows. I didn't even realize that it's wednesday and I have to work tomorrow.
I saw semi today, and batman, I also saw west today three of my favorite people in the world, they make this flaky fleetly stripper feel grounded, and like I can be myself, I can order a drink in the middle of the day if I want to. I can wear short skirts if I want to. Two of them are great friends that I don't think are going anywhere who know a lot about all three of my lives. All of them sort of accept me for who I am, know that I have bigger dreams, I just run slowly after them. I'm very thankful for them. I'm also very thankful for west he has a particular tone of voice that calms me down.
I would say the only one that was missing was the DR, but I saw them yesterday (I'm so pissed at them for moving.), that person knows more about me than anyone should and if I run for office he may need to disappear.
Although I feel like sometimes my privet life and my public life are one in the same, but that's more a personal problem than anything else. So here we go lets dive in shall we folks.
My public life as you know it I'm a student I study accounting. I'm constantly thinking about ways to improve business make new businesses (yes batman I'm a working on a business plan, Semi I want to go over it with you as well, if I can ever catch a day where I'm not deathly ill...Just kidding all better, and down literally only 7lbs WHOOOO) trying to help those around me succeed all whilst being successful for those of you reading this you obviously know that I'm a stripper...and if you didn't then there is the shocker for the day, hide your husbands and your wives, again kidding, you will have to excuse me I haven't been sleeping very much lately midterms and all so I think I'm hilarious but you may think I'm not. Also on the public life...I'm like a very expensive piece of furniture at my club (only because I have given them oh lets round down and skip all the vip rooms I've done and say they come out in the wash for the very few deals I have ever needed to in the ball park of over 20k I mean when I write it out it seems like a deal wait that per month it comes out to around 100k that tuition at a great school, instead I'm trying to convince people I'm attractive maybe now is a good time for a photo for those of you that don't know me, disregard you've already seen it,
Anywho that's the jist of what I look like without a head...pretty sweet huh, oh and drop 10lbs off it.
or maybe I'm more like the wallpaper it's redish so if we had blue it would be like...hmmm something is missing, something doesn't feel right if I were to leave. A few others as well. This, became incredibly apparent to me tonight as I was getting a ride with some of the staff and one of them noted that I've been coming in extremely late (Sorry everyone, I'll be more diligent from now on)The privet life thing is a little different, being a stripper is something I don't scream at the top of my lungs or go to protests dressed in all white with a big ass glittery sign equating the tuition spike to the number of dances I'm going to have to do. I keep it a little quieter, but lately, it's been coming out a little more, hence the confusion of public vs. privet. There are parts of this life you can't hide, like rolling into class on a Monday or Friday with slept in hooker face. Telling lab partners what you do and finding out they used to be married to a stripper late night like this. I'm so tired of staying up late. I hope I get to sleep at the dr. today. But my privet life is so much more than that it's this whole world, the the world I can't tell my parents about, it's the world I want everyone to understand but I know that they won't. It's the one thing write now that I really want to change amongst another million things I want to change...Like getting an hour of sleep on my couch I want to change that. Wait it's 8am I can finally put shit in the dryer. Sorry losing focus, sometimes this is my only outlet for my privet life. I used to tell friends what I was doing and they would all, always give me the same face...the RED, your too good for this and I worry about you face, and I would always have to reassure them that I was a big girl who could take care of herself which I'm pretty sure I have proved time and time again, with a few punches here, a few sit the fucks down there.
Then there is your secret life. Very few of you know about my secret life and if you do, you know I'm at a crux I'm at a point where I need to start making some choices on what I'm going to do right now. Holy shit we are fading fast. Sometimes I wish I could show people my privet life, and have them understand it, and not have it be a thing. Right now most of my life is so compartmentalized and so privet that my closest friends well that's not true Bulliet knows what's going on but very few other people do, and i'm perfectly okay with that. Excuse my grammar as it goes to shit as I star to do the head nod, which means I need to get at least one hour of sleep tonight/today, who knows. I didn't even realize that it's wednesday and I have to work tomorrow.
I saw semi today, and batman, I also saw west today three of my favorite people in the world, they make this flaky fleetly stripper feel grounded, and like I can be myself, I can order a drink in the middle of the day if I want to. I can wear short skirts if I want to. Two of them are great friends that I don't think are going anywhere who know a lot about all three of my lives. All of them sort of accept me for who I am, know that I have bigger dreams, I just run slowly after them. I'm very thankful for them. I'm also very thankful for west he has a particular tone of voice that calms me down.
I would say the only one that was missing was the DR, but I saw them yesterday (I'm so pissed at them for moving.), that person knows more about me than anyone should and if I run for office he may need to disappear.
I FUCKING LOVE MY JOB!
I do, I really do love it. I love talking to people. I love when my faith in humanity is restored though the people I meet at work like Mr. Manhattan, or airplane guy, yoga guy, irish guy, asian guy, semi-annual D. Women like Bullet who I couldn't live without at times, I'm so lucky to have her as my best friend. The professor, well I mean I didn't meet him at work, but I think that it's part of the reason we are friends. H who I adore. I know I've missed some folks but it's late.
HOWEVER NIGHTS LIKE TONIGHT MAKE ME HATE MY JOB.
I was told tonight by a sir that I was the most beautiful woman he has ever seen in real life, then asked me for 2.5 songs for 40 dollars. I hate when people tell me silly things and then try to low ball me. Compliments don't pay my bills. I wish they did, I could dole out compliments to all my bill collectors all day.
I hate when people try to put their fingers in my mouth.
Although I appreciate any money someone spends on me. I know how hard people work...at least as hard if not more hard than I do. HOWEVER on nights like tonight when it's slammed all i had tonight was the one dance one off. I don't know what I was doing wrong, but everyone (basically) bought one dance...it was awful. I hustled my ass off, I'm exhausted from trying so hard.
I hate when I'm walking by someone and they grab my arm so hard that they make me lose my balance. Putting a death grip on my ass.
I hate when dudes gyrate. Let me do the grinding, you are throwing off my whole game. Sit the fuck back and relax if you could dance you would have been a stripper trust me I've met plenty of male strippers.
DON'T MOTHER FUCKING LICK ME. I HATE IT, I'M A GERMAPHOBE. Lick me again and I'll rip your tongue out.
DO NOT PULL AT MY CLOTHING, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE.
It makes me want to punch you. If you want me to wear something specific email me or tell me some time, unless of course it's illegal then...no
Do not try to top from the bottom it's not okay, and it makes me want to show you what a real dom looks like you little bitch
Please stop pulling my underwear' up my ass, and over my hips, it's not the 90's and I don't like weggies.
Also if you ask me again how much to touch I'll be pulling out pinking shears and saying it's a finger every time...you programers are going to have to get creative with how you work.
Do not haggle the price with me, it's not negotiable. It is what I say it is, and it's insulting when you tell me how pretty I am and how much you like me, and then tell me i'm not worth TWENTYfuckingDOLLARS. You have no idea what an ego blow that is.
It's been a long couple of months get ready for some more rants followed by one good night and some other good stuff. Hang in there readers I promise it gets better.
HOWEVER NIGHTS LIKE TONIGHT MAKE ME HATE MY JOB.
I was told tonight by a sir that I was the most beautiful woman he has ever seen in real life, then asked me for 2.5 songs for 40 dollars. I hate when people tell me silly things and then try to low ball me. Compliments don't pay my bills. I wish they did, I could dole out compliments to all my bill collectors all day.
I hate when people try to put their fingers in my mouth.
Although I appreciate any money someone spends on me. I know how hard people work...at least as hard if not more hard than I do. HOWEVER on nights like tonight when it's slammed all i had tonight was the one dance one off. I don't know what I was doing wrong, but everyone (basically) bought one dance...it was awful. I hustled my ass off, I'm exhausted from trying so hard.
I hate when I'm walking by someone and they grab my arm so hard that they make me lose my balance. Putting a death grip on my ass.
I hate when dudes gyrate. Let me do the grinding, you are throwing off my whole game. Sit the fuck back and relax if you could dance you would have been a stripper trust me I've met plenty of male strippers.
DON'T MOTHER FUCKING LICK ME. I HATE IT, I'M A GERMAPHOBE. Lick me again and I'll rip your tongue out.
DO NOT PULL AT MY CLOTHING, BECAUSE YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE.
It makes me want to punch you. If you want me to wear something specific email me or tell me some time, unless of course it's illegal then...no
Do not try to top from the bottom it's not okay, and it makes me want to show you what a real dom looks like you little bitch
Please stop pulling my underwear' up my ass, and over my hips, it's not the 90's and I don't like weggies.
Also if you ask me again how much to touch I'll be pulling out pinking shears and saying it's a finger every time...you programers are going to have to get creative with how you work.
Do not haggle the price with me, it's not negotiable. It is what I say it is, and it's insulting when you tell me how pretty I am and how much you like me, and then tell me i'm not worth TWENTYfuckingDOLLARS. You have no idea what an ego blow that is.
It's been a long couple of months get ready for some more rants followed by one good night and some other good stuff. Hang in there readers I promise it gets better.
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