Although I feel like sometimes my privet life and my public life are one in the same, but that's more a personal problem than anything else. So here we go lets dive in shall we folks.
My public life as you know it I'm a student I study accounting. I'm constantly thinking about ways to improve business make new businesses (yes batman I'm a working on a business plan, Semi I want to go over it with you as well, if I can ever catch a day where I'm not deathly ill...Just kidding all better, and down literally only 7lbs WHOOOO) trying to help those around me succeed all whilst being successful for those of you reading this you obviously know that I'm a stripper...and if you didn't then there is the shocker for the day, hide your husbands and your wives, again kidding, you will have to excuse me I haven't been sleeping very much lately midterms and all so I think I'm hilarious but you may think I'm not. Also on the public life...I'm like a very expensive piece of furniture at my club (only because I have given them oh lets round down and skip all the vip rooms I've done and say they come out in the wash for the very few deals I have ever needed to in the ball park of over 20k I mean when I write it out it seems like a deal wait that per month it comes out to around 100k that tuition at a great school, instead I'm trying to convince people I'm attractive maybe now is a good time for a photo for those of you that don't know me, disregard you've already seen it,
Anywho that's the jist of what I look like without a head...pretty sweet huh, oh and drop 10lbs off it.
or maybe I'm more like the wallpaper it's redish so if we had blue it would be like...hmmm something is missing, something doesn't feel right if I were to leave. A few others as well. This, became incredibly apparent to me tonight as I was getting a ride with some of the staff and one of them noted that I've been coming in extremely late (Sorry everyone, I'll be more diligent from now on)The privet life thing is a little different, being a stripper is something I don't scream at the top of my lungs or go to protests dressed in all white with a big ass glittery sign equating the tuition spike to the number of dances I'm going to have to do. I keep it a little quieter, but lately, it's been coming out a little more, hence the confusion of public vs. privet. There are parts of this life you can't hide, like rolling into class on a Monday or Friday with slept in hooker face. Telling lab partners what you do and finding out they used to be married to a stripper late night like this. I'm so tired of staying up late. I hope I get to sleep at the dr. today. But my privet life is so much more than that it's this whole world, the the world I can't tell my parents about, it's the world I want everyone to understand but I know that they won't. It's the one thing write now that I really want to change amongst another million things I want to change...Like getting an hour of sleep on my couch I want to change that. Wait it's 8am I can finally put shit in the dryer. Sorry losing focus, sometimes this is my only outlet for my privet life. I used to tell friends what I was doing and they would all, always give me the same face...the RED, your too good for this and I worry about you face, and I would always have to reassure them that I was a big girl who could take care of herself which I'm pretty sure I have proved time and time again, with a few punches here, a few sit the fucks down there.
Then there is your secret life. Very few of you know about my secret life and if you do, you know I'm at a crux I'm at a point where I need to start making some choices on what I'm going to do right now. Holy shit we are fading fast. Sometimes I wish I could show people my privet life, and have them understand it, and not have it be a thing. Right now most of my life is so compartmentalized and so privet that my closest friends well that's not true Bulliet knows what's going on but very few other people do, and i'm perfectly okay with that. Excuse my grammar as it goes to shit as I star to do the head nod, which means I need to get at least one hour of sleep tonight/today, who knows. I didn't even realize that it's wednesday and I have to work tomorrow.
I saw semi today, and batman, I also saw west today three of my favorite people in the world, they make this flaky fleetly stripper feel grounded, and like I can be myself, I can order a drink in the middle of the day if I want to. I can wear short skirts if I want to. Two of them are great friends that I don't think are going anywhere who know a lot about all three of my lives. All of them sort of accept me for who I am, know that I have bigger dreams, I just run slowly after them. I'm very thankful for them. I'm also very thankful for west he has a particular tone of voice that calms me down.
I would say the only one that was missing was the DR, but I saw them yesterday (I'm so pissed at them for moving.), that person knows more about me than anyone should and if I run for office he may need to disappear.
The thing about dreams is that they should be chased at the pace most appropriate at the time. Too many people go quickly after what they *believe* they want and miss other opportunities along the way.
ReplyDeleteI ended up with the career that I thought I wanted and I love it. I took waay too long in college, dropping out a couple of times. I moved to a city I knew little about and ended up loving it. I had crappy jobs in the meantime, but they refocused my drive to become what I am today.
It is interesting to think about a secret life. I'm a little jealous as I haven't had a secret life. It really seems that there are huge downsides to having an unknown life that you really can't talk to everyone about. The huge upside is that when you find someone you trust it would seem that the connection would be stronger. Maybe like having a built in acid test, those who accept are worth being around and those who aren't can be disposed of or kept at a distance.
The thing is, you'll do well and you know it. Relax about where you are in life, accept it for what it is and concentrate on the fun, exciting and good things in your life.