The night everyone went crazy or the night I lost it

Whichever way you want to look at it this weekend was pushing my last thread over the edge. Here are some of the highlights.
One of the new girls was about to walk out on the floor with a sheer top on and I straight up said told her she couldn't and it was at that point everyone in the back new that shit was about to get real, real in the club this weekend
I say to the manager that the next person that asks me to break the Seattle municipal code is going to get their jaw broken. What do you know Karma is a little bitch with a great sense of humor I find myself arguing with a man in a wheelchair about what exactly the law is, he is telling me I am wrong (for those of you that know me I'm not wrong I know that law better than I know my real name). Needless to say he didn't get his dick stroked nor did I break his jaw.

The Dr. came in to keep me on my toes that's always fun. Let's just say big squeeze and I don't mean that in a weird way at all.

I asked my manager for a bag of valuim so I could eat them like m&m's in hopes of not killing someone. This is shortly after I have my head between my legs as I feel like I'm having a panic attack. One of my finer moments for sure.

The very last man I talked to on Saturday night was being a dick and I told him if he continued I was going to smash his glasses, his response they were really expensive. My response "I'm sure they were, I mean mine were around $1,500" He continued to be a dick, I snatched his glasses off his face.

Needless to say I am currently taking a break from Seattle until I feel it is safe for other for me to come back. Just so we are clear the law is there for your protection as well, just think if you actually touched me and I didn't like it. I mean 911 is easy to remember but try dialing that as I'm stomping on your hands. Just kidding I would never do that...

There is no I in team but there sure as fuck is one in stripper

Last night was showgirl of the year, no I didn't win. Why? because I was a god damn idiot and told my idea to someone else. Did I even place, nope and that's ok. I'm not the type of girl to represent a strip club. I mean I rep mine all the time, but I do it my way. Those of you that know me on the personal level know that I'll leave my mark on you and you will be sure to remember me the next day. I'm not blonde, I'm not stick skinny I have big boobs and a big butt. Anyway I'm losing focus.
I went into this competition thinking rah-rah- go team little darlings, but the thing is there is no team or there are teams and I'm not part of the winning one, I'm part of the team that makes money and happens to be a bitch. As the rappers say Money Over Everything.
Last night was a fantastic refocus night. It was a great day to remember that it doesn't matter how vegas you look or how showy your stage is I will fucking murder it every other day of the week. Little Darlings is my fucking house and I run it regardless of their title. That is all. So dear readers get ready to raise your red flags because I'm back and I'm ready to rock.

College isn't hard pole tricks are

So next week is the big week, it's Showgirl of the year. Cue the glitter, no for real I need a ton of glitter.

Anyway I realized at this point in the quarter last quarter I was traveling back and forth to Chi-town like every other weekend. I still have no idea how I lived though that or how I didn't totally fail every class. I suppose it's because college isn't really that hard lots of people do it. It's also how I feel about pole tricks. Lots of girls do them so I should be able to do more.
Which reminds me I need to have arts and crafts hour this weekend to get all my signs made for next week.
This has the potential to be the longest week of my life. I am praying that I don't have a math test.
Also dear readers just a heads up I will be in Seattle today (Thursday) and Sunday. For everyone reading from Portland I will be seeing you tomorrow night.
I hope it's a fun filled weekend so you never have to read another boring blog post again.

Tonight started out like any other night, much like an episode of cheers, or Seinfeld, or maybe even friends.
Wait that's a lie tonight was so fucking strange. Our CEO was in which is odd in and of itself. We chatted for a minute he said he didn't recognize me. I laughed and said I didn't blame him I wore clothes when I worked in the office. He of course followed it up with the mandatory "you look great" I typically don't care if people in management positions tell me I look great it doesn't mean much.
Anyway we were chatting he asked me if I ended up getting married this summer in Chicago and I said hell fucking no I didn't. To the reorders that no me really well you all, already knew. To everyone else yup I was engaged, it was lame, it was only for about a minute. I asked him what was new hoping to her something cheerful about the up coming show girl of the year competition. I have not been so wrong in a while, he told me he was getting divorced. Breaking up never makes me that sad but hearing about divorces breaks my damn heart.
Later I had a semi regular come in by semi I mean he comes in quarterly. I told him I didn't have a ton of time to chat and that I needed to play catch up. We did a couple dances, I asked him what was new, he said he was getting q divorce. WTF I'm surprised it's not trending on Twitter.
The CEO also said something about creepy guys I said I don't really get to many of them because well I'm me. He totally he fucking jinxed me, that all I had all night
Fast forward to the end of the night. The CEO tells me I'm a machine. Which is true I am it is also why I am not the gm's favorite girl, I work really hard but I'm always traveling, which the CEO is cool with.
As I'm walking my Machine ass to the back some guy grabs my arm and says he wants me to find him a party in Europe I'm not sure what exactly he meant. We do a couple dances and I lay down the rules beforehand like I always do. He did ok though the first song, I asked him if he anted me to continue he says sure, then he got a little handsy do I got a little rough. Ultimately we did three songs. Handsy I can deal with handys is easy what followed made my blood boil. This mother fucker didn't want to pay me. I literally start screaming at him that I laid everything out before hand, it's at this point I pick up my super sharp studded belt. His eyes went so wide as he asked if I was going to hit him I of course said I would only I said "I'm going to fucking beat you and call the police and have you fucking arrested" he continues to argue with me. I typically don't get all super stripper I people but tonight I couldn't help, I had my belt super close to him and I'm screaming one of my favorite stripper lines "Fuck you, pay me" over and over again. The manager finally comes over, and asks me if I need anything I told him an ambulance because this guy is about to need one. This other fucker told J what was going on and accused me of lying! Me lying! I'm the most honest stripper in the world. He the. Says he wants to get up and talk to his friend to double check. I told him he was not going to leave my booth or I would actually harm him, our couch counter came over and confirmed that it was in fact 3 songs. So he finally fucking paid me with a fucking card which is fine but it was 3:30am and this isn't Chicago it's Seattle I was ready to go the fuck home.
It's nights like this I remember why I love my job it's always a hoot. Upper management loves us, our club loves us. I love the girls I work with. I love that I know someone has my back no matter what. I am so glad I quit my corporate job I am so much happier being a stupid stripper I wouldn't trade it for the world, well maybe the world,