Tonight started out like any other night, much like an episode of cheers, or Seinfeld, or maybe even friends.
Wait that's a lie tonight was so fucking strange. Our CEO was in which is odd in and of itself. We chatted for a minute he said he didn't recognize me. I laughed and said I didn't blame him I wore clothes when I worked in the office. He of course followed it up with the mandatory "you look great" I typically don't care if people in management positions tell me I look great it doesn't mean much.
Anyway we were chatting he asked me if I ended up getting married this summer in Chicago and I said hell fucking no I didn't. To the reorders that no me really well you all, already knew. To everyone else yup I was engaged, it was lame, it was only for about a minute. I asked him what was new hoping to her something cheerful about the up coming show girl of the year competition. I have not been so wrong in a while, he told me he was getting divorced. Breaking up never makes me that sad but hearing about divorces breaks my damn heart.
Later I had a semi regular come in by semi I mean he comes in quarterly. I told him I didn't have a ton of time to chat and that I needed to play catch up. We did a couple dances, I asked him what was new, he said he was getting q divorce. WTF I'm surprised it's not trending on Twitter.
The CEO also said something about creepy guys I said I don't really get to many of them because well I'm me. He totally he fucking jinxed me, that all I had all night
Fast forward to the end of the night. The CEO tells me I'm a machine. Which is true I am it is also why I am not the gm's favorite girl, I work really hard but I'm always traveling, which the CEO is cool with.
As I'm walking my Machine ass to the back some guy grabs my arm and says he wants me to find him a party in Europe I'm not sure what exactly he meant. We do a couple dances and I lay down the rules beforehand like I always do. He did ok though the first song, I asked him if he anted me to continue he says sure, then he got a little handsy do I got a little rough. Ultimately we did three songs. Handsy I can deal with handys is easy what followed made my blood boil. This mother fucker didn't want to pay me. I literally start screaming at him that I laid everything out before hand, it's at this point I pick up my super sharp studded belt. His eyes went so wide as he asked if I was going to hit him I of course said I would only I said "I'm going to fucking beat you and call the police and have you fucking arrested" he continues to argue with me. I typically don't get all super stripper I people but tonight I couldn't help, I had my belt super close to him and I'm screaming one of my favorite stripper lines "Fuck you, pay me" over and over again. The manager finally comes over, and asks me if I need anything I told him an ambulance because this guy is about to need one. This other fucker told J what was going on and accused me of lying! Me lying! I'm the most honest stripper in the world. He the. Says he wants to get up and talk to his friend to double check. I told him he was not going to leave my booth or I would actually harm him, our couch counter came over and confirmed that it was in fact 3 songs. So he finally fucking paid me with a fucking card which is fine but it was 3:30am and this isn't Chicago it's Seattle I was ready to go the fuck home.
It's nights like this I remember why I love my job it's always a hoot. Upper management loves us, our club loves us. I love the girls I work with. I love that I know someone has my back no matter what. I am so glad I quit my corporate job I am so much happier being a stupid stripper I wouldn't trade it for the world, well maybe the world,