Let's do a weekend recap of why it sucked and why I'm still awesome.
1. Tonight Sunday, someone told me I was fat and needed to go to the gym
1.B I would like to respond with. Excuse me you disgusting piece of shit that has greasy skins and smells bad, my denim is still a 24, and your right I have to size up in dresses because it's t&a all day you fucking ass.
2. Come back later.
2b. Fine I will but if you don't want me around just tell me don't waste my time, because I will just continue to annoy you.
3. Go away
3b. Okay maybe that's not what I want to here.
4. Can I touch....
4b. When I think about you I touch myself, I touch myself. That's a lie to everyone I met this weekend. All of you sucked, expect the guy that came in who said he reads my blog
5. Brian, yeah you from Arizona, I'm talking to you.
5b. Thanks for reading my blog, if you want me to cause you damage just call me fat, I threatened to shove my fingers so far down that mans throat he would vomit.
6. I really want Mac and cheese right now
6b. I don't have any this is a problem
6c. In fact there is nothing in this house that I want to eat right now, this is a greater problem.
7. Some bitch almost stepped on my calculator.
7b. It costs more than you made tonight and last night.
8. I dog sat horrible dogs
8b. I need more sleep, and it isn't going to happen, here is to putting on a happy face tomorrow.
9. Dude from chi town you were nice.
9b. Has me thinking about moving again.
10. I'm thinking about moving somewhere else in Seattle anyway.
10b. Sad stripper but I really want a puppy.
11. Blonde bitch.
11b. I hate the sound of your fucking voice and that you don't wear clean clothes everyday, fucking gross.
11c. Oh and stop walking around like your shit doesn't smell.
More on this subject tomorrow, I'm way to tired.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
The best and the worst
Let me start out by saying, driving someone to the ER is incredibly stressful. More on this topic later I am going to be selfish first.
It has been one week, one incredibly stressful week, in which my whole worked changed, they way I lived my day to day changed. I received some extremely upsetting news which made it feel like I had zero control over a situation. We all know how much I like control, and stability, punctuality, blah, blah.
In the first day of this week I was a complete wreck and by wreck I mean I felt as if I could not pull myself from the sheets of my bed, like I could lay there forever and nothing would matter. One of my best girlfriends came to stay with me, made sure I was getting out of bed, going running, eating, being a normal person as best I could.
On one of the first days of this week I was running though my favorite part of this city and all of the stress broke me down and I sat down on the side of the road and burst into tears, as I'm sitting there crying a man and a woman walk up to me and ask me if I'm hurt, I say no, they ask me if I'm okay and I look up at them through blurry tears and say that I am going to be okay. He reaches down rubs my shoulder for just a second and says "don't worry everything is going to be fine" a single stranger changed my whole day, potentially my whole life. He made it possible for me to make it though my run to get home.
It is amazing what strangers do for people. It is also amazing what your closest friends will and won't do for you. Some of them will walk right in fuck your world right up and then chose that folding laundry is more important than trying to tape a friend back together. Other friends will stay with you, will call you everyday, will make sure that you are alive and well.
The friend that stood by my side all week this week, is one he'll of a woman and I wouldn't have made it though the week without her. She has in fact changed my whole outlook on life. She gave me the perspective that one should do what they want to make themselves happy even if it is stalking puppies in the park, eating ice cream, and watching bad movies. I forget sometimes that I have to take care of myself first, I get so engrossed in other peoples lives, that sometimes I forget that this is my life I'm living. The other thing that was made so apparent to me which is going to contradict my previous statement is that it feels really good to do things for other people. About a month ago a friend, not a close friend but a friend needed a ride home from her 21st birthday and no one would give her one or help her. I jumped in a town car drove all over this city found her and got her home safe. Tonight I drove another girl from work to the ER as all the stupid bitches in the back were squabbling, fending only for themselves.
I know there are other people in this world with hearts as big as mine, the hard part of it is, I have met most of them though this job in some capacity. Some of them have actually been customers.
My club has lost it's sense of community of teamwork that it once had, and it breaks my heart, it was perfect for a while, there was so much love in the back it was like a sorority only with less drama.
If it were not for a few of you coming in, and for my closest friends, I don't know how I would have coped. Speaking of I apologize for acting strange my mind has just been racing about other things.
One more thing that happened I have been keeping this a secret for as long as I could, and this week it came out to a few people I didn't want to find out about it, oddly enough it all seemed to be totally fine. At the same time, tomorrow could be the start of a new roller coaster ride for the week, so I suppose it's time to take a little break before the chaos ensues tomorrow.
It has been one week, one incredibly stressful week, in which my whole worked changed, they way I lived my day to day changed. I received some extremely upsetting news which made it feel like I had zero control over a situation. We all know how much I like control, and stability, punctuality, blah, blah.
In the first day of this week I was a complete wreck and by wreck I mean I felt as if I could not pull myself from the sheets of my bed, like I could lay there forever and nothing would matter. One of my best girlfriends came to stay with me, made sure I was getting out of bed, going running, eating, being a normal person as best I could.
On one of the first days of this week I was running though my favorite part of this city and all of the stress broke me down and I sat down on the side of the road and burst into tears, as I'm sitting there crying a man and a woman walk up to me and ask me if I'm hurt, I say no, they ask me if I'm okay and I look up at them through blurry tears and say that I am going to be okay. He reaches down rubs my shoulder for just a second and says "don't worry everything is going to be fine" a single stranger changed my whole day, potentially my whole life. He made it possible for me to make it though my run to get home.
It is amazing what strangers do for people. It is also amazing what your closest friends will and won't do for you. Some of them will walk right in fuck your world right up and then chose that folding laundry is more important than trying to tape a friend back together. Other friends will stay with you, will call you everyday, will make sure that you are alive and well.
The friend that stood by my side all week this week, is one he'll of a woman and I wouldn't have made it though the week without her. She has in fact changed my whole outlook on life. She gave me the perspective that one should do what they want to make themselves happy even if it is stalking puppies in the park, eating ice cream, and watching bad movies. I forget sometimes that I have to take care of myself first, I get so engrossed in other peoples lives, that sometimes I forget that this is my life I'm living. The other thing that was made so apparent to me which is going to contradict my previous statement is that it feels really good to do things for other people. About a month ago a friend, not a close friend but a friend needed a ride home from her 21st birthday and no one would give her one or help her. I jumped in a town car drove all over this city found her and got her home safe. Tonight I drove another girl from work to the ER as all the stupid bitches in the back were squabbling, fending only for themselves.
I know there are other people in this world with hearts as big as mine, the hard part of it is, I have met most of them though this job in some capacity. Some of them have actually been customers.
My club has lost it's sense of community of teamwork that it once had, and it breaks my heart, it was perfect for a while, there was so much love in the back it was like a sorority only with less drama.
If it were not for a few of you coming in, and for my closest friends, I don't know how I would have coped. Speaking of I apologize for acting strange my mind has just been racing about other things.
One more thing that happened I have been keeping this a secret for as long as I could, and this week it came out to a few people I didn't want to find out about it, oddly enough it all seemed to be totally fine. At the same time, tomorrow could be the start of a new roller coaster ride for the week, so I suppose it's time to take a little break before the chaos ensues tomorrow.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
I know we have been over this a million times
Lets first quote a little dubstep to start as I am a stripper and it is our music. "Promises and they still feel all so wasted on myself"
Lets talk about, and refresh everyone's memories on what this job does and doesn't do for me.
It allows me the freedom to work when I want.
For the amount of time that I want.
It allows me to maintain a lifestyle currently (although in 2.5 quarters I'm going to give up this lifestyle and move somewhere more affordable)
If it were not for this job I would not have never met my best friends.
I would not have been able to return to school to study something completely different than what I previously did.
I would not have such an open mind about people, places, and things.
Lets talk about what sort of damage this job does.
It does irreparable damage to interpersonal relationships.
Lets talk about, and refresh everyone's memories on what this job does and doesn't do for me.
It allows me the freedom to work when I want.
For the amount of time that I want.
It allows me to maintain a lifestyle currently (although in 2.5 quarters I'm going to give up this lifestyle and move somewhere more affordable)
If it were not for this job I would not have never met my best friends.
I would not have been able to return to school to study something completely different than what I previously did.
I would not have such an open mind about people, places, and things.
Lets talk about what sort of damage this job does.
It does irreparable damage to interpersonal relationships.
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