I can't fucking do this anymore.

Preface If you don't want to hear me bitch right now please don't read this. Also in now way am I trying to offend an entire group of people. I understand that everyone is different which is why I have not given up completely on a particular brand of men, and I probably never will because the good ones are really great. 

I also know I'm about to have all fucking hell rain down on me for this post. The thing is if you have never done anything I am about to mention I'm not referring to you so...please don't hate me. 

Also I'm asking a lot of questions and I am truly seeking answers so I can better understand my clients, because if I don't want to be around you we aren't going to have any fun. I don't like threatening to brake bones, but I will because it's self defense, because most of this shit is sexual assault  and that is no laughing matter. To everyone else who is going to be concerned after reading this, don't worry, I'm fine, just annoyed.

Nothing bad has happened it's all been nipped in the bud as they say...Except for one thing, which is people putting their finger in my belly button, which is just the oddest fucking thing. I'm sure I could write a whole blog post about that. 



I don't understand why we are spoken to in a particular way, or treated like less than human for that matter. Let me give a few examples. I'll just cut to the chase and skip my whole intro to a sale...

Hi, what's your name? 
*hand in my face* IN SOME TIME.
Your name is "in some time"? 
IN SOME TIME. *hand in face*
Okay, my dear let me set something straight...one your in my chair, all of these chairs are mine, which means your in my house. I did not try to sell you anything, I'm not even sure if I want to sell you a dance. I like to sit down and get to know a person before I dance for them, because what if I don't like you? If I don't like you I don't want to dance for you, because it won't be fun for either of us. I understand you don't want a dance, but please at least be polite, let me get your name first, THEN you can say you are not ready for a dance. 
blank stare 

...would you like a dance?...
What does that entail?
Well...I'm going to run my mostly naked body down the length of yours. 
How much?
A dance is $20 dollars and it is the length of a song, I will ask you in between every song if you would like me to continue, to avoid any questions later. 
I want 2 for $20 (or sub in) I want 3 for $40 (or sub in) I want 3 for $30 (followed by) I want to touch.
You want to touch what? 
I want to touch your boobs. You will take off your top. I want to touch (hand reach for my lady bits) DEFLECTED. 
I'm sorry you can't do that, and sadly I'm not allowed to be topless during dances in Seattle. 
Why?
It's the law.
But I want to.
I'm sorry, I don't make the law. 
But I want to your boobs are so nice.
I know they are, I like them too, but that doesn't change anything 
*reaches for boobs*
I said no. We are done here. 

SIMILAR LINE. 
...I don't want to pay 20 dollars for a dance.
Okay I'm sorry, you can pay me more if you want.
I want 3 dances for $20 dollars and I want to touch everything/ I want to put your boobs in my mouth. 
My dear, dances are $20 and that is a reasonable price, it's far to low if you ask me. Every other place I dance at in the country is much higher and gentlemen are not allowed to touch me at all. You do realize this is the equivalent of me asking you to make me an app for my phone and not pay you for it right? You are basically devaluing what I do.
blank stare
But I want to touch you.
Absolutely not. We are done here. 

...same story line...
Why won't you let me touch you? 
Because it's the law. 
No it's not.
Yes, it is would you like me to show you? 
You can break the law for me. No one will know. 
I will know, and I can't, I will lose my job. I don't think you want to support me. 
Come on...
Uhhh... no I can't it's the law as I previously stated, and I'M NOT A FUCKING PROSTITUTE DICK FUCK. 
Well I need to touch you if I get a dance.

...
How much to have the sex with you. 
The sex? 
Yes how much. 
Well...I don't do that, so it doesn't matter. 
Yes you do. 
No I don't. 
Yes you do, my friend just had a dance with you and he said you did. 
Your friend is lying my dear.
No he's not. 
Ok...well I was the one giving the dance and I know what happened, so unless your friend has a very strange view of what sex is, it didn't happen. 
walk away

I want to do...any of the aforementioned myriad of things.
Um...no.
Well one of the other girls let me.
Did it ever occur to you, that if she lets you do it, then the likely hood of her letting other people do the same thing is really high? Also considering that I know who you are talking about in no way do I want any exchange of bodily fluids with that person. So...think about how many people you have shared her with.
I need those things so no I won't get a dance from you.  

A brief description of giving a dance...
Grabbing at me, pulling me down into their lap. Trying their best to get their hands wherever they can, into whatever crevasse, or as much breast as they can grab, pulling at my clothing. Attempting to get their mouth on me wherever they can. Acting as if they were a small dog humping my leg. Doing their best to convince me to lower my morals for a the tiniest amount of money. Speaking to me as if I have had absolutely no formal education what so ever. It literally does not matter how many times I say no. NO MEANS NO FUCK TARD, no does not mean yes, and yes does not mean anal.

I have held down so many hands, held back so many mouths, argued about so many payments. I can't take it any more.

So many times this weekend so far I have had this happen. Or been turned down for a dance because I won't suck some dick. I almost broke a dudes collar bone after a dance because he wouldn't listen to me say no. Didn't think I meant it, and then didn't want to pay me.

Usually I get offended when someone says that I am, too smart, too pretty, too hot, right now I literally am all of those things. I am too good to be treated like a piece of shit by any man.


I am literally at my wits end. I've been on the verge of tears so many times this weekend, and it takes a lot to get me to cry at work because strippers don't cry. That is neither here nor there.

I don't want to give up on people, because that sucks then you miss out on the good ones, but I cannot be insulted anymore by these people. I can here some of the comments I'm sure this is going to get now...about how maybe I put myself in this situation, and I allow it to happen, and I'm weak. FUCK THAT NOISE. Everyone knows I tell everyone the rules when they sit down with me, and everyone knows that if I feel threatened I'm not afraid to defend myself, or ask for help from someone else. As you can see with the above dialogues I'm typically not rude.

I literally cannot do this anymore. I cannot handle it correctly I find myself trying so hard to hold back my temper not to just start screaming at people that i'm a human fucking being and I have feelings, and you can't treat me like this, and that they aren't better than me. That they aren't above me. That they have to respect me, that it's my fucking body and I say what goes. I make it so clear already in the nicest way possible. I fucking hate myself every time I dance for someone who can't follow my rules. It literally makes me hate my job, I cannot get enough isopropyl alcohol on my body sometimes. I don't fucking get it. I want to scream sometimes about how fucking filthy and disgusting and humiliating they are not only to themselves, but their mothers. They are totally giving men a bad name.

It is literally getting to the point where I cannot make money in this city. That shouldn't happen.

I know people do things for a reason, and they are probably not lying when they say some other girl let them do X,Y,Z. Here is the thing ladies, I don't care what you do if it's outside the club, but please do it outside the club. Please have some respect for yourself, charge enough money, be classy, but please I am fucking begging you please stop. I swear you don't have to do extras, I promise you, you will still make money and you are hurting everyone when you let someone touch you.

Can one of you out there in internet land send me a pep talk? I feel like a crazy person over here.