Preface If you don't want to hear me bitch right now please don't read this. Also in now way am I trying to offend an entire group of people. I understand that everyone is different which is why I have not given up completely on a particular brand of men, and I probably never will because the good ones are really great.
I also know I'm about to have all fucking hell rain down on me for this post. The thing is if you have never done anything I am about to mention I'm not referring to you so...please don't hate me.
Also I'm asking a lot of questions and I am truly seeking answers so I can better understand my clients, because if I don't want to be around you we aren't going to have any fun. I don't like threatening to brake bones, but I will because it's self defense, because most of this shit is sexual assault and that is no laughing matter. To everyone else who is going to be concerned after reading this, don't worry, I'm fine, just annoyed.
Nothing bad has happened it's all been nipped in the bud as they say...Except for one thing, which is people putting their finger in my belly button, which is just the oddest fucking thing. I'm sure I could write a whole blog post about that.
I don't understand why we are spoken to in a particular way, or treated like less than human for that matter. Let me give a few examples. I'll just cut to the chase and skip my whole intro to a sale...
Hi, what's your name?
*hand in my face* IN SOME TIME.
Your name is "in some time"?
IN SOME TIME. *hand in face*
Okay, my dear let me set something straight...one your in my chair, all of these chairs are mine, which means your in my house. I did not try to sell you anything, I'm not even sure if I want to sell you a dance. I like to sit down and get to know a person before I dance for them, because what if I don't like you? If I don't like you I don't want to dance for you, because it won't be fun for either of us. I understand you don't want a dance, but please at least be polite, let me get your name first, THEN you can say you are not ready for a dance.
blank stare
...would you like a dance?...
What does that entail?
Well...I'm going to run my mostly naked body down the length of yours.
How much?
A dance is $20 dollars and it is the length of a song, I will ask you in between every song if you would like me to continue, to avoid any questions later.
I want 2 for $20 (or sub in) I want 3 for $40 (or sub in) I want 3 for $30 (followed by) I want to touch.
You want to touch what?
I want to touch your boobs. You will take off your top. I want to touch (hand reach for my lady bits) DEFLECTED.
I'm sorry you can't do that, and sadly I'm not allowed to be topless during dances in Seattle.
Why?
It's the law.
But I want to.
I'm sorry, I don't make the law.
But I want to your boobs are so nice.
I know they are, I like them too, but that doesn't change anything
*reaches for boobs*
I said no. We are done here.
SIMILAR LINE.
...I don't want to pay 20 dollars for a dance.
Okay I'm sorry, you can pay me more if you want.
I want 3 dances for $20 dollars and I want to touch everything/ I want to put your boobs in my mouth.
My dear, dances are $20 and that is a reasonable price, it's far to low if you ask me. Every other place I dance at in the country is much higher and gentlemen are not allowed to touch me at all. You do realize this is the equivalent of me asking you to make me an app for my phone and not pay you for it right? You are basically devaluing what I do.
blank stare
But I want to touch you.
Absolutely not. We are done here.
...same story line...
Why won't you let me touch you?
Because it's the law.
No it's not.
Yes, it is would you like me to show you?
You can break the law for me. No one will know.
I will know, and I can't, I will lose my job. I don't think you want to support me.
Come on...
Uhhh... no I can't it's the law as I previously stated, and I'M NOT A FUCKING PROSTITUTE DICK FUCK.
Well I need to touch you if I get a dance.
...
How much to have the sex with you.
The sex?
Yes how much.
Well...I don't do that, so it doesn't matter.
Yes you do.
No I don't.
Yes you do, my friend just had a dance with you and he said you did.
Your friend is lying my dear.
No he's not.
Ok...well I was the one giving the dance and I know what happened, so unless your friend has a very strange view of what sex is, it didn't happen.
walk away
I want to do...any of the aforementioned myriad of things.
Um...no.
Well one of the other girls let me.
Did it ever occur to you, that if she lets you do it, then the likely hood of her letting other people do the same thing is really high? Also considering that I know who you are talking about in no way do I want any exchange of bodily fluids with that person. So...think about how many people you have shared her with.
I need those things so no I won't get a dance from you.
A brief description of giving a dance...
Grabbing at me, pulling me down into their lap. Trying their best to get their hands wherever they can, into whatever crevasse, or as much breast as they can grab, pulling at my clothing. Attempting to get their mouth on me wherever they can. Acting as if they were a small dog humping my leg. Doing their best to convince me to lower my morals for a the tiniest amount of money. Speaking to me as if I have had absolutely no formal education what so ever. It literally does not matter how many times I say no. NO MEANS NO FUCK TARD, no does not mean yes, and yes does not mean anal.
I have held down so many hands, held back so many mouths, argued about so many payments. I can't take it any more.
So many times this weekend so far I have had this happen. Or been turned down for a dance because I won't suck some dick. I almost broke a dudes collar bone after a dance because he wouldn't listen to me say no. Didn't think I meant it, and then didn't want to pay me.
Usually I get offended when someone says that I am, too smart, too pretty, too hot, right now I literally am all of those things. I am too good to be treated like a piece of shit by any man.
I am literally at my wits end. I've been on the verge of tears so many times this weekend, and it takes a lot to get me to cry at work because strippers don't cry. That is neither here nor there.
I don't want to give up on people, because that sucks then you miss out on the good ones, but I cannot be insulted anymore by these people. I can here some of the comments I'm sure this is going to get now...about how maybe I put myself in this situation, and I allow it to happen, and I'm weak. FUCK THAT NOISE. Everyone knows I tell everyone the rules when they sit down with me, and everyone knows that if I feel threatened I'm not afraid to defend myself, or ask for help from someone else. As you can see with the above dialogues I'm typically not rude.
I literally cannot do this anymore. I cannot handle it correctly I find myself trying so hard to hold back my temper not to just start screaming at people that i'm a human fucking being and I have feelings, and you can't treat me like this, and that they aren't better than me. That they aren't above me. That they have to respect me, that it's my fucking body and I say what goes. I make it so clear already in the nicest way possible. I fucking hate myself every time I dance for someone who can't follow my rules. It literally makes me hate my job, I cannot get enough isopropyl alcohol on my body sometimes. I don't fucking get it. I want to scream sometimes about how fucking filthy and disgusting and humiliating they are not only to themselves, but their mothers. They are totally giving men a bad name.
It is literally getting to the point where I cannot make money in this city. That shouldn't happen.
I know people do things for a reason, and they are probably not lying when they say some other girl let them do X,Y,Z. Here is the thing ladies, I don't care what you do if it's outside the club, but please do it outside the club. Please have some respect for yourself, charge enough money, be classy, but please I am fucking begging you please stop. I swear you don't have to do extras, I promise you, you will still make money and you are hurting everyone when you let someone touch you.
Can one of you out there in internet land send me a pep talk? I feel like a crazy person over here.
I wish I could defend men, being one and all.
ReplyDeleteI cannot.
I can defend those who respect dancers, those who enjoy talking to beautiful ladies and getting nice dances.
I've said it before, your dances are great. Your dances are great because we've had a conversation before, there seems to be a human contact on top of the erotic.
Keep doing what you are doing, you will make enough money. You will get yourself through to the next step of your beautiful life. It will have been worth it.
dld
You would not last a week at a strip club in Detroit. I am not saying that is good or bad. Laws or no laws you have set boundaries and stick by them. That is a good thing. Every girl should have boundaries they are comfortable with. Don't change because other girls do it different or because you need that extra $200 one night. That leads to discontent and self loathing.
ReplyDeleteGuys are mostly creeps, that is why the majority go to strip clubs. They to don't see the girls as people. I hear it all the time, even from the waitresses at the clubs. They see the girls as live porn, a means to an ending- and who doesn't like getting their porn for free.
I suggest practicing vetting your customers more. When you find a good one make sure you spend the extra time needed to get him back. You may not like him personally, but if he keeps his hands to himself that is a win.
My friend goes in one night a week for just one customer, she spends the whole night with him and ignores everyone else. She brings home about $400 from him. She could make more by working the crowd, but she wouldn't come away as happy at the end of the night she feels. Good luck.
You are right. Every girl that does "extras" devalues the "legal" dance. But just like you would have to reject 10 d-bags at a bar because they're trying to make out with you when you don't want to, in this line of work the amount of people that will try to do more than they should will multiply. The job is all about talking to horny guys, so there's a high concentration of those some d-bags amongst the decent law-abiding clients.
ReplyDeleteHowever, as you mention in here, you don't have to give up on the respectful, paying customers because of how many times you have to go through that "education" process. In all lines of work the customer can be frustrating, This happens to be the one legal job in which the ungrateful/asshole customer can be most damaging.
If you don't find the money and ego boost from the job enough to offset that, then you are right by getting tired of it, But if you can look through the bad weekends/streaks and realize what you get out of your regulars/good customers, you'll maximize your resistance to asshole-filled weekends :-).
Red, I'm limited to 4096 characters, so I'll email it to you.
ReplyDeleteRed,
ReplyDeleteFirst off in no ways is any of this your fault, or do you allow this to happen to you. I honestly think your biggest issue is being in Seattle. As much as I love the city, for strippers it seems to be the most horrendous place in the world and it is destroying two people I found to be unique, caring, beautiful and just overall amazing people (yourself and Tiger). I have had the pleasure of traveling much of the world and with that I have spent my time in clubs across various states, and countries as well as my home in Canada. There is no place that I have ever come across that is cheaper than $20 a dance. You go to Paris and it is roughly $90 for one song and they may or may not touch you but your hands must stay on the furniture. My part of Canada it is $60 for 10 minutes and they won't come any closer than a knees length away from you.
The biggest downfall I think you have in Seattle is the no alcohol in the club. Even though this does eliminate a lot of Drunk Moron Syndrome, it also prevents a lot of normal guys from coming in. As a solo traveler who gets tired of sitting at a bar it's a nice change of pace, but the average group of guys is mainly focused on going out for a beer with their buddies where naked chicks is just a bonus. The final issue this brings is that the club no longer makes their money on alcohol sales and their only source of income is you beautiful ladies. This leads to absurd amounts of making you pay them for stupid shit. I've never come across other strippers that pay the club like you guys do.
You are doing the best you can Red, and no matter what the other girls need to do to get by don't let it change who you are as it is the most valuable possession you have. I'm not saying stripping isn't for you as you are exceptionally beautiful, and have an awesome personality, but maybe stripping in Seattle isn't for you. If school means you have to be in Seattle it may just be time to find other work to help support that (and you obviously can't give me the money is better stripping, all I hear from Tiger is how bad the money is right now). You are very intelligent and will find the right path soon enough, just make sure this life doesn't change who you are before that happens.
-Crazy Canadian
PS If you ever want to send me an email and just vent to someone directly I'm easy to get a hold of
A post by the guest admin at the Stripclubhound blog mentions an issue that some males might have that is effecting you.
ReplyDeletehttp://stripclubhound.blogspot.com/2013/11/introduction.html
I know *exactly* how you feel, and I have gotten to that point several times. Pretty much all of them while working in Seattle. You are not crazy, you are definitely not weak, and you are justified in getting overwhelmed by these gross examples of disrespect. I'm not sure exactly what the solution is. I have usually taken some time off, done some super-extra self-care, and then come back with the attitude of reveling in the fact that I am too good to let the customers devalue me. That there are enough good customers that my bills are paid & I'm well fed. I focus on the parts of the job that I love.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could give you a hug! Seattle is so hard sometimes. Most of the time. Los Angeles is tough too. Just be nice to yourself. Be as nice & careful with yourself as you can. And know that somewhere out there is one of those awesome customers that's going to pay you just to sit & talk & be beautiful. Strip clubs were born of temples to the goddesses. We're just the last of the temple priestesses. Don't let the douche bags take that away from you. <3c
Sounds like a slowly churning hurricane of unfortunate circumstances.
ReplyDeleteExotic dancing (stripping? I'm unfamiliar with the acceptable pc term) is a tough job for sure. Sex and boundaries hard boundaries don't tend to mesh very well, and that's even if the sex is only alluded to.
I don't have any sympathy for your Shitty customers who are unable to compartmentalize their inner drive from their limitations. They're not at a brothel and therefore should not act as such.
All that said, there are two sides. Many, dare I say most dancers look at their customers as walking wallets which they actively try to separate from as much cash as possible. Does that not seem demeaning to you? I get the business and the hustle but I think that the lack of compassion and acknowledgment of humanity goes in both directions.
Anyway,hope this all blew over and finals went well for you.