Mind you I'm not anyones wife, and I probably won't be for a really long time. The following are a few recent conversations I've had about my "future"
Recently I walked up to a gentlemen at the bar and started chatting he inevitably asked me about my life and what I do, I rattled off all the things I do like school, and running, and cooking, and blah, blah, blah. All of a sudden out of nowhere this man says you are going to make someone a really good wife. I laughed at him. I know I shouldn't have he's probably right I probably will but that day is not today and it is not tomorrow. I really want to get though school before I do the whole marriage thing, I mean no one wants to marry a stripper, and that's okay, I wouldn't want to marry a stripper either.
Later this week, I was having a discussion with C and he was going on about how I would be a great wife and a good mother, and it really hit a cord with me. I was thinking about it while we were sitting and talking and came to the conclusion that I have 3 years to get it together find a damn husband and get married and start thinking about kids. This means that I need to get started um...yesterday.
Later this week I was talking to Dr. M whom I dated (term loosely used) ages ago. Recently broke up with a woman who seemed to have her life together, made a boatload of money, had a house, two small dogs, big wig at a company but was totes cray otherwise known as totally crazy. We were discussing how even though she was attractive and her background seemed normal. How he needs to screen for the crazies a little bit better. He then mentioned that whilst we were going out that the main deterrent for him was my job. Which makes perfect sense you hear the words "dating stripper" and you think bat shit crazy.
I was reading a blog earlier today regarding strippers from a customers pov I believe it was here http://pdxstoney.blogspot.com/ and how being a stripper is like a huge hurtle a person needs to overcome like some sort of horrible disease and at times it really does feel like that especially when it comes to dating it's like having a huge black mark on your resume that people can't look over.
I suppose this comes from other strippers giving us a bad name. I was reading on another blog today here and in no way am I bashing this gentleman I'm more concerned about the dancer he is currently involved with. Her way of paying for drugs by having sex in the club gives "us" decent dancers a bad name. Dancers such as this women and others are creating un-necessary hurtles for us to leap over in our tall shoes to make life normal for ourselves.
I don't date due to the questions that arise from my job, and the schedule I keep and the worry that it creates. Quite frequently I am getting home later than a normal person which has worried previous boyfriends not thinking that I have left the club with a customer but that something horrible has happened to me from point a to point b.
So regardless of the fact that I'm wifey material, I will refrain from searching for a partner till I am done with this job to alleviate any concerns my partner may have.
Damn Red, I swear to God you almost make me want to bitchslap you and I need to call you on this bullshit. Posts like this make me believe you take pleasure in making yourself victim of your own choices and crave pity. There are great man who don't look at being a stripper as something making you less of a person so don't write there aren't, there are great man who want to "marry a stripper" not only because they think they are in love after seeing you naked couple of times but because they actually take time to get to know you and they can fall in love with a real person not only your stripper projection so don't write they are not, there are man who are strong enough to deal with stigma, comments or whatever this kind of relationships throws at them. So don't write there are not because its not true and it is insulting. The truth is that there are man like this but you either don't meet them or you simply don't like them. The ones that you like apparently do care about all this bullshit social stigma surrounding strippers world (and adult entertainers in general) and you project their insecure little egos to others. Stop it. Stop. You love being a stripper, its part of who you are to the core, you are damn fucking good at it, stop feeling sorry for yourself. There is no reason and you are perfectly loveable just the way you are, even if you make your hair boring brown. Perhaps there is something about man who don't care if you are stripper that you don't like in the first place. Maybe you want someone who will rescue you, someone who will ban you talking about this to their family or friends because they would feel ashamed, maybe you don't want a man who is OK with women that was a stripper. I don't fucking know anymore. M, not the dr. Peace the fuck out.
ReplyDeleteI always know you because I can hear you talking in your writing before I even know it's you...which is strange b/c we aren't besties...Yes shake me next time I'm an idiot.
DeleteIn Detroit, it is common for the dancers to do more than just dance at work or they will not make any money. It wasn't always that way but the economic times, the drug abuse and the club owners allowed it to turn into this.
ReplyDeleteBillie (the girl I talk about in my blog), and I didn't not start out having sex in the club. But she is still there, still addicted, still trapped in her own creation.
Don't be too quick to judge these "others girls", you should know, to judge the person not the job the do.
they are two separate entities it's true.
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