So lately I feel like my blog is all blah, blah, blah whoa the fuck is me...So It's time to start about my sex toy adventures and the dating adventurers of other strippers since I'm obviously very busy with my own drawer of toys.
First I want to talk about the Fun Factory's new toy, first off it's a German company, and the object itself is made out of medical grade silicon. Downside this silicon it collects lint better than my ling brush, I need to find a nice little lint free bag for it, so I can keep it lint free. (duh, yay for redundancy) ((ALSO I SUPPOSE IF I END UP HATING IT OR BREAKING IT I WILL HAVE A SUPER EFFECTIVE LINT BRUSH, BECAUSE I"M IN THE MARKET FOR ONE OF THOSE WITH A DOG AND ALL) Anyway the toy is called stronic eins. It means the strong one or something like that. My first impression upon reading the instructions is it's apparently very relaxing, you can read a book, look at your ipad, or drink a cocktail up no less.
So lets talk about function and fun quickly since it's now past my bed time. It has like a billion modes and unlike most consulater it doesn't vibrate. It thrusts HOLY FUCKING, FUCK, FUCK IT THRUST. Not like a sex machine because apparently those things thrust this is how can I compare it...considering I've never used one, but I have looked at quite a few photos. So a sex machine is like watching The game of Thrones, it's scary, detailed, full of surprises, expensive to produce. The Stronic Eins is like watching Sherlock on the bbc it's sexy in a foreign sexy way, and a smart sexy way and an over thinking lots of options, but the ending is always good...and sexy kind of way. A few other puny Sherlock tips to maximize your enjoyment the object itself is a bit dry so I recommend ( and so does the fun factory) a generous amount of lube. Ok I'm out of Sherlock jokes I'm officially tired and need to wrap this up.
For those of you that have talked to me about sex todays before you know damn well I know my shit, and there are a few that I absolutely love. You may find that I seem pretentious in my choice of toys but that's not true I just like nice things...Stronic Eins is gonna run you about $200 dollars, which is less than say...shoes, a dress, getting your nails done touching up your roots, making a Sephora run, only to go out on a shitty date, with a shitty dude, who doesn't even offer to pay, won't open doors for you, and never compliments all the aforementioned nice things you did to look good (Someone please remind me why dating is good again?)
That being said the Stonic Eins is a new favorite, the thrusting is pretty fucking amazing (get it, fucking amazing) I crack myself up at 4am. However it is not the fave that's going to take a while to write.
Alright kids, be good, be reckless, have fun, but don't do anything to hurt a strippers feelings.
Just FYI, silicon is extremely easy to clean with isopropyl alcohol. Isopropyl on silicon is about the slickest thing you can imagine. I learned this trick when I was casting resin parts in silicon molds...a tiny bit made removing the casting extremely easy.
ReplyDeletegood to know...sorry for the major delay.
Delete