This is me bitching about the same shit.,

I go off on a tangent near the end I swear this has something to do with work it just doesn't seem like it.

Success is a funny thing right...Thats what I'm eventually going to talk about this morning.
So I accidentally slept though work tonight, for the 1st time sine I started this job, I didn't call in saying I wasn't coming in or coming in late...Side story I've been watching a lot of girl code and the episode I was just watching was about divorce, and one of the guys on the show brought up a good point, in a divorce girls need a dad around, guys can get by but girls need a dad, dad's teach you the original girl code...THIS IS SO TRUE, THE TRUEST EVER, my dad taught me to never let a dude pay for my dinner since he may think that since he payed for dinner he deserves a little dessert...yah know which is not true at all...no one eats dessert on the 1st date.

Anyway...I slept though work tonight so I ended up going out for a drink with a friend, and we were talking about me and the place that my brain is in right now and how I'm having a really hard time getting back to the place I need to be in. I realized tonight that I have been really successful in what I've done, lately I haven't felt that way, I've felt/feel like I'm failing at what I'm doing right now since I mean I slept though work tonight, I haven't been really going out and getting after it. It's like I've lost my drive (and I don't know how to get it back) I mean I know I need an actual break from everything. I need a break from work, and I really need a break from my squatter.

We had a discussion about my squatter and why I'm allowing this person to stay with me even though they aren't contributing, making my life miserable...I do it because of my polite upbringing, my parents taught me that I have to be nice to people, that I need to take care of other people, that I shouldn't let people fail, that I should be nice and if I have something to give to be helpful I should give it. However with this person I really think I need to let them fail, or be independent really, I know I keep talking about this and really the only way it relates to dancing is that we work at the same club sometimes, and for some reason the idea of this person telling everyone what a bitch I am is keeping me from sending her on her way I guess it's because I don't fucking know I'm tired of bitching about this.  Has anyone ever kicked a squatter out before what's the best way to do it?

I'm tired of work being shitty. I'm tired of shitty managers, I'm tired of being treated like an employee even though I'm not, I'm tired of not feeling like no matter what I do that managers will not back me up. I'M TIRED OF NOT HAVING ANY GOD DAMN TOILET PAPER. I'm tired of ugly ass strippers trying to be my friend. I currently am not taking applications for new friends and I had 3 people text me today that they were going to kill themselves I don't need you telling me everything is going to be okay...UUUGGGHHHH FUCK THIS JOB RIGHT NOW #ICANTEVEN I mean seriously someone get me the fuck out of seattle and away from all these people who are holding me back seriously I need to get ready for work today and really, really, do what I used to do, even though I know it's a weird cycle to think that I can change things over the course of a few hours, because I probably can't, but I really need to try because I really feel like if I can just get the old red back that everything else will just fall into place.

End of story I need to get the fuck out of this mess, I really need to get my shit together.