Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Dating a stripper....again.

Apparently this is a very popular topic...I thought I would right this from our point of view however instead of how to date one. Mind you I'm super biased since I'm single and most of these reasons, are the ones I stay single, and I'm perfectly happy rolling solo.

1. Dating is hard, just in general dating is one of those things that takes a lot of work, and effort, and I mean even getting into a relationship, you have to go out and meet people and you have to sit there and think while they are trying to eat salad in a sexy way if you could potentially sleep with them...try picuturing someone eating salad in a sexy way, it doesn't work.
Now take your normal dating issues, throw some 8" heels and a shit ton of glitter on them and make them one billion times worse, that is what dating is like for us, harder than normal. It's dating on viagra really.

2. We see things in a very realistic manner, you aren't going to think we are beautiful forever, and eventually want to go elsewhere, the issue with this is we don't really care, we know that our job exists for that reason, the issue here is anyone we date is going to think that and then compare themselves to the men we dance with and ultimately they are going to think they come up short. They forget pretty often that we are coming home to them.

3. When I started dancing dating seemed feasible, and easy in a way, you go out you have some drinks you trick a guy into talking about how strippers are totally broken, then boom you drop it on them mid sip thats how you spend your time, this was a favorite date past time of mine for a while. Now the idea of telling someone after I've had enough people get up and leave is a little more daunting, not that I don't love my job, and I'm not proud of it because I am.

4. Which leads me to the next issue of who they are actually dating, I find most of the time they are dating who they perceive me/I/myself/ Red to be, who is this crazy stripper person, not someone who's hobbies including running and statistics, or they date me because I can pay for things. Most of the time people want to date the idea of who I am, the thing is I'm always me, my personality is my personality, but we(the strippers) don't always want to be on...unless you happen to be giving us money hand over fist, then we will giggle over a cocktail till the cows come home.

5. I find that this job has gotten me F'z'd on more than one occasion, and maybe it's as Seven says something about "loving like a thug" we don't have "normal" girl emotions we kind of deal with things like guys do. Maybe that makes us way easier to be friends with, or maybe it's because we have access to a ton of hot half naked girls, or maybe it's because dating a stripper is on of the hardest things you could ever do, and it's why I like being single.

6. Not only is being friend zoned a thing we have to worry about or they idea you choose, but the fact that we are more disposable than most girls, we look awesome on your arm, we make you look better than a popped collar (because you're the fucking man and everybody fucking knows it). However the majority of guys I talk to would much rather marry the average girl than the super hot girl the super hot girl is a risk. Now take the hot girl and give her a ton of options, and all the options are tripping over themselves for her. Which brings us back to reason 2. I guess these all are one big long reason.

7. Time, we have so many watches but can't tell time, unless it's time to work, then we are procrastinating like we don't want to go, till we actually want to go, then there isn't enough time in the world for us. Time is most of our downfall I swear.

I promise to follow this up someday with all the amazing reasons to date us, like we look awesome and make you look better than a popped collar. However right now I need to get ready to do some day time things...crazy I know.

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