The truth about dancing is people come and go, people are going to leave because they feel a certain way, they want a certain thing, and they want you to provide it to them. They want you to make yourself available all the time. I have never heard from so many people so frequently how little they care about someone else. I say I have something going on "I don't care about that person"
At this point I'm looking at cost benefit analysis as are they, I can't be on time I can't make special time for them, I can't sit down to drinks, but when I should be at work, since it is my birthd month and I do want to get myself things I am apparently making people flee. Let me must enlighten all of you on what I deal with....
I'm running to get a rental car...no bra. flip flops, and that means I'm going to be 20 min late....except my custy isn't responding so I go back to packing otherwise fuck it I would have left. Mind you he blew me off a couple other times that week, so how do I know you were really even at the airport.
Tonight, I have another person, who has taken to lecturing me about my response rate and making me feel bad for not making myself free. I'm fine on money but this month I could always have more. This isn't one of those people. He's a dinner guy, a dinner and tell red how she's fucked up again guy, which irks me and makes me not want to go to dinner, because I need to be at work attempting to make money. I now it's about the money but it' not about the money.
Then there are the 4 I lost last month. I'm just crushing right now. I feel like I need to work all the time to try and make up for it and try not to fucking cry. It's not their fault I'm annoying, I mean it is, they know who the fuck I am, it shouldn't be that hard to adjust.
Then there is the guy who said I destroyed him emotionally when I spent hours each night trying to calm him down. I'm so upset right now I can't sleep.
I'm going in for day shift. I have to make up for this shit.
I mean I know it gives me the chance to cultivate new regulars and get my old persona back...again, but god fucking damnit work with a bitch a little. Don't get mad at me for going to work if I need to. Don't be all like "game over if you can't make it" okay, I won't show up because you are going to tell me I fucked up and I'm not in the mood. Do I still want to work on an diff project with you of course but I want deadlines on it I work better that way.
I'm so fucking tired of being the only one that care about people it leaves me no fucking time to care for myself, and then I get destructive to my personal relationships and October doesn't help. For those that send flowers, thank you they made my shitty day.
To top it off our numbers at work are plummeting so I need to get my marketing team together, and get a staple guy. Anyone wants to help a hot chick flyer hit me up on instagram or twitter, for real. In the mean time I'll be blogging about being grouchy.
Hello there, Red. I enjoy reading you. You're not that much different in your thoughts and frustrations than anyone else though I suppose for some, it's a bit of voyeurism for people to read your blog as though it's something dark and taboo. Though it's not. I've had the pleasure of meeting you on two occasions. No, not at your club. I've been to a club twice but that was back in Chicago. That said you're unique in that you say what's on your mind and what you're feeling without any pretense. That's quite enjoyable. Oh and the two time we crossed paths you were waitin no in the hallway for an elevator an elevator and we had an engaging mg chat down to the lobby. You were quite enjoyable to talk with.
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