Wednesday, July 27, 2016

All the time in the world...with no time at all.

I'm pulling this out of drafts.

I suffer from a very common condition of being a stripper, I have horrible time management, which I need to fix by the end of summer. That's right kids it's summer again and about the time of year ( or the fiscal quarter) I sit down and re-evaluate where I'm going and what I'm doing.
Baby tonight made a really good point. 1st let me back up baby has been gone for a hot second and hasn't been around to watch the fireworks otherwise known as my daily life...anyway tonight she pulled me aside to ask me what was going on and why there is so much hate towards me lately, and I just sort of laughed it off and rolled it off like I've been doing. I guess I didn't realize how bad it is, I just haven't cared what people say that much. I can't care that much it's my job right now. People are going to talk no matter what, especially some  women, some women can be so mean. Men will fight and get over shit. Some Women will plot, and execute, and plot. Some Women hate seeing other women succeed at times. A couple of the girls have zero qualms about going in on me for just about anything. Apparently according to the rumors I'm basically an all around terrible person. Anyway all of this is happening around me, back to the story line...baby asked me why the fuck there was so much hate towards me...Really I haven't cared or been able to focus on it with the lose of my dog. It has minimized everything around me, and really created this hole in my life that I can't fill. It's this horrible feeling in my chest like I can't breathe whenever I sit down and really focus on it. It's literally the worst feeling I've ever experienced. Seriously if I could have her back for 10 minutes I would do just about anything. This whole experience has kept me from enjoying this summer and kept me from standing up for myself lately as I just feel so beat down.

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