How to be the best stripper...ever (the word according to red)

Lately I've been asking myself how to get back to my original self. The self that made money hand over fist. I'm still attractive, I'm still smart. There is no reason why I should make money the last hour of work. Also I was asked to give advise on the subject considering my amazing abilities to retain regulars...although I am taking on new regulars if anyone is up for the challenge. I didn't advise them as I didn't have time and I didn't know what to say considering my most recent luck...

After binge watching a ton of netflix and hulu, and really going though everything in the past 10 years of my life ( it is getting to be that time of year where I start talking about the years passed). That there is a little bit of truth in the fiction of movies. I suppose what I'm about to say is probably going to concern some people. (Family I'm not talking to you or about you, or anyone who may think I'm referencing them personally I'm not this is more of a general statement)...YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THE LIE. YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY THE BEST PERSON ON THE FLOOR AND THAT NO ONE ELSE EXISTS OR THAT THEY ARE THERE TO ASSIT YOU IN MAKING MONEY. That's it that's all it takes. Oh and a six minute limit. If you can't close in six minutes you aren't going to close it. Remember it's an option you are selling, not a demand, and you have to believe that they are not the only option as well. Oh and the lie never derive from the lie. I don't mean lie to everyone about everything. I mean more like method acting believe who you are while you are on the floor. I always take time to adjust from work me to me me, before interacting with anyone.

So here is to getting back into myself and truly believing that "don't can't call me bitch, bitch"is the truest I have been with myself. Right up there with knowing a little bit about everything and taking interest in everything as well. Also righting myself for thinking I've been wrong at all and shouldn't do this or don't deserve to do it well. So that's all it takes to be a great stripper, just believe in yourself, and some tall, tall shoes.

Radio interview...and a bunch of bullshit about things I'm considering talking about.

Yup another radio interview tomorrow for I think a small personally owned radio station they want to ask the usual questions. I'm sure the question about relationships is coming up which moves us into strippers and boyfriends. Mind you I know some girls with very healthy relationships, I'll be talking about them soon. HOWEVER I HAVE MAGICALLY CONVINCED GIRLS TO LET ME INTERVIEW THEM ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIPS GET READY INTERNET THIS NEW SEGMENT IS GOING TO BE GOOD.

We all complain about the same things (hence why I don't date)
Things our boyfriends hate collectively.
1) They hate our jobs, but love our money
2) Hate how much or when we work, but don't mind spending our money or getting gifts.
3) If we mention we want something say as a gift from say our boyfriend they tell us to ask a custy, but hate when we go in early.
3a) When they want a gift they ask us to ask our customers

PREVIEW.
1.One girl dates a dude who only wears rick owens and owns enough clothes he could own a house. I understand that I love rick owens and I love clothes...also he buys them. I've met him he's hilarious. They also have a pretty healthy view on dating.
2.Another girl just dates a shitty dude I'll be talking a whole lot about him.
3. Another dates a hippie with a radiology degree who doesn't use it.
4. One girl went on a date with a dude I went on a date with the one who camped on my lawn...man I hope I wrote about that.
5. I'll be dishing dirt on dudes I've dated, and the type of guy I actually like...and maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, I'll dish on dudes I've actually had crushes on...like real ones.

However don't worry I'll still be talking about stripper shit, because no one wants to read about rom-com crap.

Sorry I suppose I'm just a little excited that my writers block is over.

Some quick quips to entertain you this morning...

Me: I want to go home
Manager: Can't you just stay and sell one more dance?
Me: You do realize I've already made up my mind, I'm tired, I'm crabby, and I don't see any sales in my future.
Manager: Fine, give me $60.
Me: ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY NO! YOU CAN HAVE $50
Manager: Don't kill the messenger I'm just trying to do my job.
Me: FUCK THAT I'LL KILL YOU AND EVERY SUBSEQUENT MESSENGER TILL THE OWNER GETS HERE AND I MIGHT JUST KILL HIM TOO!
Manager: You know I sort of believe you...ok $50
Manager: Why do you have to be so scary all the time.
(for the record should the owner or anyone in management read this, I won't be killing anyone it's not an actual threat)
Locker room banter has been reduced lately to how big my ass is and that it might have it's own gravitational pull.

There has been a lot of talk about boob-jobs lately...for some reason it appears that the 90's are back and everyone wants melons again.

Me: you know how I get these abs?
Stripper: No, how?
Me: I do twists like this(doing twists) followed by this...Random flex pose with a facial expression that looks like I ate a lemon.
Stripper: you should make a you tube video of your work-out it would be hilarious.

...Laughter ensues, photo to follow.

Manager: All the crazy stuff that happens around here you should write a book.
Me: You are the 5th person this week to say that. I might have to work on my horrible english first.

Customer: How did you recognize me I'm wearing a wig.
Me: I'm observant, the way you stand gave it away...actually that's a lie, actual hair metal rockers don't wear such nerdy shoes.
Customer: Damn, I knew I should have worn different shoes.