Yup another radio interview tomorrow for I think a small personally owned radio station they want to ask the usual questions. I'm sure the question about relationships is coming up which moves us into strippers and boyfriends. Mind you I know some girls with very healthy relationships, I'll be talking about them soon. HOWEVER I HAVE MAGICALLY CONVINCED GIRLS TO LET ME INTERVIEW THEM ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIPS GET READY INTERNET THIS NEW SEGMENT IS GOING TO BE GOOD.
We all complain about the same things (hence why I don't date)
Things our boyfriends hate collectively.
1) They hate our jobs, but love our money
2) Hate how much or when we work, but don't mind spending our money or getting gifts.
3) If we mention we want something say as a gift from say our boyfriend they tell us to ask a custy, but hate when we go in early.
3a) When they want a gift they ask us to ask our customers
PREVIEW.
1.One girl dates a dude who only wears rick owens and owns enough clothes he could own a house. I understand that I love rick owens and I love clothes...also he buys them. I've met him he's hilarious. They also have a pretty healthy view on dating.
2.Another girl just dates a shitty dude I'll be talking a whole lot about him.
3. Another dates a hippie with a radiology degree who doesn't use it.
4. One girl went on a date with a dude I went on a date with the one who camped on my lawn...man I hope I wrote about that.
5. I'll be dishing dirt on dudes I've dated, and the type of guy I actually like...and maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, I'll dish on dudes I've actually had crushes on...like real ones.
However don't worry I'll still be talking about stripper shit, because no one wants to read about rom-com crap.
Sorry I suppose I'm just a little excited that my writers block is over.
Showing posts with label Stripper family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stripper family. Show all posts
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Friday, August 10, 2012
The game
Dating has been a huge conversation in the strip club as of late.
IT sort of started with someone who is not a patron choosing to camp on my lawn. (No one panic, no seriously don't) That's a story for another time. The following is a collection of dating advice from strippers.
1. Don't call him, whatever you do don't call him.
2. He nutted on you? He should have called you have a couple of hours.
3. Buy the book women love bitches.
4. I don't care if he is nice, if he asks you out say no.
4.1. Do not tell him what you are doing, he never needs to know.
5. The first 6 months make it a chase men want to chase something not have it given to them.
6. Don't be too nice.
7. Don't be too mean.
In other news I was reminded how my little family is dysfunctional. I was using the restroom and 2 other girls barge in, which isn't that abnormal considering we don't really have a doorknob. I lost my temper and yelled at them to leave as I had just been backed into a corner by squawking girls. On of the girls I yelled to leave called me a bitch. I heard so many people through the door defending me that I actually just like to pee with the door closed. My girls, they are the best. I love them. I would not give up this job right now for the world. I mean I would consider it if the right job came along, but I fear that I will never find another group of girls like this again, that I am excited to see every night.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Some quick quips to entertain you this morning...
Me: I want to go home
Manager: Can't you just stay and sell one more dance?
Me: You do realize I've already made up my mind, I'm tired, I'm crabby, and I don't see any sales in my future.
Manager: Fine, give me $60.
Me: ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY NO! YOU CAN HAVE $50
Manager: Don't kill the messenger I'm just trying to do my job.
Me: FUCK THAT I'LL KILL YOU AND EVERY SUBSEQUENT MESSENGER TILL THE OWNER GETS HERE AND I MIGHT JUST KILL HIM TOO!
Manager: You know I sort of believe you...ok $50
Manager: Why do you have to be so scary all the time.
(for the record should the owner or anyone in management read this, I won't be killing anyone it's not an actual threat)
Locker room banter has been reduced lately to how big my ass is and that it might have it's own gravitational pull.
There has been a lot of talk about boob-jobs lately...for some reason it appears that the 90's are back and everyone wants melons again.
Me: you know how I get these abs?
Stripper: No, how?
Me: I do twists like this(doing twists) followed by this...Random flex pose with a facial expression that looks like I ate a lemon.
Stripper: you should make a you tube video of your work-out it would be hilarious.
...Laughter ensues, photo to follow.
Manager: All the crazy stuff that happens around here you should write a book.
Me: You are the 5th person this week to say that. I might have to work on my horrible english first.
Customer: How did you recognize me I'm wearing a wig.
Me: I'm observant, the way you stand gave it away...actually that's a lie, actual hair metal rockers don't wear such nerdy shoes.
Customer: Damn, I knew I should have worn different shoes.
Manager: Can't you just stay and sell one more dance?
Me: You do realize I've already made up my mind, I'm tired, I'm crabby, and I don't see any sales in my future.
Manager: Fine, give me $60.
Me: ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY NO! YOU CAN HAVE $50
Manager: Don't kill the messenger I'm just trying to do my job.
Me: FUCK THAT I'LL KILL YOU AND EVERY SUBSEQUENT MESSENGER TILL THE OWNER GETS HERE AND I MIGHT JUST KILL HIM TOO!
Manager: You know I sort of believe you...ok $50
Manager: Why do you have to be so scary all the time.
(for the record should the owner or anyone in management read this, I won't be killing anyone it's not an actual threat)
Locker room banter has been reduced lately to how big my ass is and that it might have it's own gravitational pull.
There has been a lot of talk about boob-jobs lately...for some reason it appears that the 90's are back and everyone wants melons again.
Me: you know how I get these abs?
Stripper: No, how?
Me: I do twists like this(doing twists) followed by this...Random flex pose with a facial expression that looks like I ate a lemon.
Stripper: you should make a you tube video of your work-out it would be hilarious.
...Laughter ensues, photo to follow.
Manager: All the crazy stuff that happens around here you should write a book.
Me: You are the 5th person this week to say that. I might have to work on my horrible english first.
Customer: How did you recognize me I'm wearing a wig.
Me: I'm observant, the way you stand gave it away...actually that's a lie, actual hair metal rockers don't wear such nerdy shoes.
Customer: Damn, I knew I should have worn different shoes.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Coming in hot!
First and foremost I would like to thank my canadian gift from the Stripper Deities the other week, you totally made my night. It was great to see you. More on him later just proof positive that social media works if you work it.
Anyway whew sorry about that everyone. I was in a suer dark place and just couldn't be public for a minute. Let's get back up to speed IM In SEATTLE fuck yes I'm home! I've never been happier holy fucking god am I happy. I mean I loved working in Chicago I loved the city it's just not for me right now and that's ok.
Having come back to the pnw I've been heading to pdx every other weekend so if you happen to be in the vicinity do swing buy and say hi.
Ok on to the good stuff I suppose. I'm taking the rest of the weekend off. I think it's time. For no real reason usually I take time off because I think I might actually hurt someone. I've been uber nice lately, as in people are commenting to me on how nice I have been. It's weird it's awesome to be this happy but I think it may be negatively impacting my business.
I realized last night that I have my target market down. No one has told me in quite some time that I am too smart to dance with. I suppose if they actually felt that way I should direct them here and they will be able to clearly see that I cannot punctuate to save my life.
Ok the dirt. Tonight I convince this little thug muffin that he wants a dance. For those of you that have had dances from me you know damn well I lay the rules out and I'm really into people following the rules. This little fuck head thought it would be appropriate to try and get his hand under my bra. First off you've obviously not had enough experience or you would know to go from the side not the bottom dipshit. Anyway I thought it would be in my best interest to hit him in the face. It wasn't even hard, we all know I can hit harder if I want to. He gets all butt hurt and says it was hard and chooses to tell a me that it's assault. Asked my why I didn't warn him. Me stat
Ing the rules in the beginning is your warning, I hope this is now clear to everyone. Excuse me, it apparently never occurred to this fuck face that touching me is sexual assault and i'm totally cool pressing charges. It unfortunately did not escalate to this point. He said he was going to call his lawyer, I told him he should and I would happily call mine. This ended up getting really heated. I told him he was incredibly rude he then told me he wasn't going to tip me. It was at this point I was highly offended, people rarely tip me anyway so I don't care but don't wave that shit over my head! So I shoved him into the wall told him I didn't fucking care if he paid me, and walked away. Sad part of the story he won the argument I should have made him pay me. I ended up walking myself out tonight which I will never do as I ran into him and 2 of his friends on the stairs luckily you take the heels off and throw on a coat I don't look like a stripper. It still seemed like I might get my ass kicked right then which would really ruin my day. Anyway I get in my car and start telling my driver about my night he offered to seriously come beat someone down for me someday. Which brought me to a very Important re-realization
The sex industry is seriously a pretty tight knit group and once you are in you are sort of in. We all watch out for each other, when we travel we visit clubs and throw money around. This crazy stripper world has seriously changed my perspective on the world, it has made it seem like a (mostly) more positive place, that there is always someone who has your back and is willing to help you, and I'm not solely referring to customers. It's the drivers, the bartenders, the door guys, the all night diners, your coworkers good management, strippers on Twitter, and those who truly love us and don't judge us that makes this world and my life so fucking amazing.
Anyway whew sorry about that everyone. I was in a suer dark place and just couldn't be public for a minute. Let's get back up to speed IM In SEATTLE fuck yes I'm home! I've never been happier holy fucking god am I happy. I mean I loved working in Chicago I loved the city it's just not for me right now and that's ok.
Having come back to the pnw I've been heading to pdx every other weekend so if you happen to be in the vicinity do swing buy and say hi.
Ok on to the good stuff I suppose. I'm taking the rest of the weekend off. I think it's time. For no real reason usually I take time off because I think I might actually hurt someone. I've been uber nice lately, as in people are commenting to me on how nice I have been. It's weird it's awesome to be this happy but I think it may be negatively impacting my business.
I realized last night that I have my target market down. No one has told me in quite some time that I am too smart to dance with. I suppose if they actually felt that way I should direct them here and they will be able to clearly see that I cannot punctuate to save my life.
Ok the dirt. Tonight I convince this little thug muffin that he wants a dance. For those of you that have had dances from me you know damn well I lay the rules out and I'm really into people following the rules. This little fuck head thought it would be appropriate to try and get his hand under my bra. First off you've obviously not had enough experience or you would know to go from the side not the bottom dipshit. Anyway I thought it would be in my best interest to hit him in the face. It wasn't even hard, we all know I can hit harder if I want to. He gets all butt hurt and says it was hard and chooses to tell a me that it's assault. Asked my why I didn't warn him. Me stat
Ing the rules in the beginning is your warning, I hope this is now clear to everyone. Excuse me, it apparently never occurred to this fuck face that touching me is sexual assault and i'm totally cool pressing charges. It unfortunately did not escalate to this point. He said he was going to call his lawyer, I told him he should and I would happily call mine. This ended up getting really heated. I told him he was incredibly rude he then told me he wasn't going to tip me. It was at this point I was highly offended, people rarely tip me anyway so I don't care but don't wave that shit over my head! So I shoved him into the wall told him I didn't fucking care if he paid me, and walked away. Sad part of the story he won the argument I should have made him pay me. I ended up walking myself out tonight which I will never do as I ran into him and 2 of his friends on the stairs luckily you take the heels off and throw on a coat I don't look like a stripper. It still seemed like I might get my ass kicked right then which would really ruin my day. Anyway I get in my car and start telling my driver about my night he offered to seriously come beat someone down for me someday. Which brought me to a very Important re-realization
The sex industry is seriously a pretty tight knit group and once you are in you are sort of in. We all watch out for each other, when we travel we visit clubs and throw money around. This crazy stripper world has seriously changed my perspective on the world, it has made it seem like a (mostly) more positive place, that there is always someone who has your back and is willing to help you, and I'm not solely referring to customers. It's the drivers, the bartenders, the door guys, the all night diners, your coworkers good management, strippers on Twitter, and those who truly love us and don't judge us that makes this world and my life so fucking amazing.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)