No, no,not me. I feel like I'm never little spoon.
This whole conversation started last night, while I was having a glass of wine with a friend I haven't seen in gosh 9 months. Only after I finished my first final, because I don't drink while taking tests. We were talking about recent conquests. This conversation had me laughing for over an hour. Why? I'm the most conservative stripper ever and I dont think of sex like that. Wait yes I do.
Anyway we were discussing proper bedroom etiquette, and manners, such as if the bathroom door is closed leave it that way. You never #2 in front of anyone, not okay. Always finish what you start especially if you finish early. Finishing early is only acceptable after a long dry spell. Leave before you overstay your welcome.
We had a brief discussion on dating people who might be a little batty. Only because I know a few of the girls that he has spent some time with. In the past couple years it appears that I just attract the ones with a screw loose.
Anyway it turned into a conversation about dating people under the age of 30 (which I swear to god I will never do again, and really 30 is pushing it, I think I need to make a rule that they must be like 7 years old than me or something.). How they happen to be children, almost literally I have found myself taking care of crying men. Now there is nothing wrong with crying when it's appropriate. Im down to be an ear to listen to whatever is on your mind, and if you are really sad about something I'm happy to console you.
It moved from there to the fact that I am rarely little spoon...Or there was the guy who wanted to sleep on my shoulder. Yes that's right my shoulder. Let me just state I still have a vagina and I'm curvy in all the right places so there is no way to mistake me for a man. I have never felt more masculine, than I did at that moment. Apparently that is what I have become. I've become both the man and the woman in relationships. I pay for dinner, I make dinner, I work my ass off, I go to school, and I'm always the big spoon. Someone is asking to get pegged and I'm not picking up on the hint.
It leads me to the question. What happened to all the real men? What happened to being challenged. Really what happened to getting to feel safe, not like you have to fight your own fights and maybe his too. I'm officially tired of feeling like I could kick everyone's ass, even the ones that are in the gym everyday. I mean I get it I'm pretty dominate...but come on! If you can't stand the heat get the fuck out the kitchen. Actually if you want to be the woman can you please get in the kitchen and make me breakfast, and don't over cook my eggs.
This, this, is why I'm staying single.
Showing posts with label late nights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label late nights. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Everyone always asks...
If I'm single, the answer is yes, yes, I am. I was going to write a blog post about all the reasons why I'm single then I thought that might be a little depressing so let us just go with I really don't have time, and I think it's in everyone's greatest interest if I remain single as then no one gets their feelings hurt.
So...Lets do the weekend highlights! YAY WEEKEND HIGHLIGHTS.
I would like to thank everyone who came in on Thursday night, if I haven't thanked you personally yet I mean to. All of you truly started my work week of right, I could not ask for a better beginning it was great! In fact it was one of those work days that I may think about in the future when having a bad work day as a reminder that everyday is great in it's own way.
Friday. Friday was an exercise in "Oh shit I really need to get my A game on" and it worked it was a great reminder actually on how to work correctly. I think I've been slacking lately and that's been my problem with the past few weeks I just got lazy. I think this is due to the fact that I don't have a vacation planned. Therefore I have very few financial goals outside of tuition and last time I checked school was not a vacation, but it's almost as expensive as one sometimes. On that note I'm back to my old self again, which I will say feels great.
Saturday. Saturday I had the opportunity to be really mean to someone so I took the liberty to bind their arms and whisper things in their ears. Which brings me to the question of..."How scary am I?" Personally I don't like being restrained so that's terrifying in itself, but I would be horrified if I was staring at myself whispering. So I suppose if I had a twin I would be scared of them is really what I'm getting to. Beyond that it was another flawless evening.
Sunday. Sunday POT LUCK SUNDAY! I was the only person to bring anything, which is fine, I think it's great if anyone brings something home cooked, that's really the important part that people aren't eating burgers. Sunday I realized that we have an influx of really stupid 19 year olds. All of whom I would love to hit in the face and if they continue to talk like idiots I just might. Or I will very politely remind them that no one in the locker room cares about their bedroom antics and they should save them to tell customers as that's more entertaining and apparently a selling point for some people.
On that note I suppose I will have to make it a goal this week to remind the 19 year olds to shut the fuck up. Especially the one that sounds like Fran from the nanny, she really makes me want to shut my head in a locker till the sound of her voice stops. It is in fact so annoying that the thought of it bothers me even when I'm not there.
Alright everyone have a great day and make good choices.
So...Lets do the weekend highlights! YAY WEEKEND HIGHLIGHTS.
I would like to thank everyone who came in on Thursday night, if I haven't thanked you personally yet I mean to. All of you truly started my work week of right, I could not ask for a better beginning it was great! In fact it was one of those work days that I may think about in the future when having a bad work day as a reminder that everyday is great in it's own way.
Friday. Friday was an exercise in "Oh shit I really need to get my A game on" and it worked it was a great reminder actually on how to work correctly. I think I've been slacking lately and that's been my problem with the past few weeks I just got lazy. I think this is due to the fact that I don't have a vacation planned. Therefore I have very few financial goals outside of tuition and last time I checked school was not a vacation, but it's almost as expensive as one sometimes. On that note I'm back to my old self again, which I will say feels great.
Saturday. Saturday I had the opportunity to be really mean to someone so I took the liberty to bind their arms and whisper things in their ears. Which brings me to the question of..."How scary am I?" Personally I don't like being restrained so that's terrifying in itself, but I would be horrified if I was staring at myself whispering. So I suppose if I had a twin I would be scared of them is really what I'm getting to. Beyond that it was another flawless evening.
Sunday. Sunday POT LUCK SUNDAY! I was the only person to bring anything, which is fine, I think it's great if anyone brings something home cooked, that's really the important part that people aren't eating burgers. Sunday I realized that we have an influx of really stupid 19 year olds. All of whom I would love to hit in the face and if they continue to talk like idiots I just might. Or I will very politely remind them that no one in the locker room cares about their bedroom antics and they should save them to tell customers as that's more entertaining and apparently a selling point for some people.
On that note I suppose I will have to make it a goal this week to remind the 19 year olds to shut the fuck up. Especially the one that sounds like Fran from the nanny, she really makes me want to shut my head in a locker till the sound of her voice stops. It is in fact so annoying that the thought of it bothers me even when I'm not there.
Alright everyone have a great day and make good choices.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
I'm the girl your mother warned you about
I suppose I should preface this with I've been extra sensitive lately. I sort of had a large chunk of goo dropped on me by my mother which usually causes a disruption in the force for a few days.
There is a saying "You can't make a ho a housewife." I was having drinks with a friend of mine last night and we were lamenting the fact that I'm single. He turns to me from across my dining room table and to say "Bro nobody wants to marry a stripper" mind you I'm not in a relationship and in absolutely no rush to get married. He made a very good point. How exactly do you have a successful relationship with a stripper, let alone myself? I'm a hard lie to keep up, I'm a hard schedule to deal with. I eat at weird times, I sleep a lot. I know that I'm not alone in my schedule. I could be a bartender it could be the same only more socially acceptable and I would still be treated like a stripper by the same number of douche bags.
I also feel that he was right. I was engaged once for about 1 minute no joke it was one minute and I was told that what I did for a living would fuck up his future and how could they take me to any events. EXCUSE ME DUMBASS I'm a chameleon for a living I can talk about anything to anyone I would assume that this would make me more valuable, unfortunely in most cases I'm wrong.
I feel sometimes having had relationships while dancing that a lot of the fantasy that is portrayed in the club is expected to be transferred over to real life. Like, I'm suppose to party all the time, or it's expected that I'm unreliable (mind you sometimes I forget things but I'll be there if you need me), or that I am once again a "stupid stripper", I swear that, the stigma of this job is the hardest thing to shake, at moments it doesn't matter how much I study, or how good my grades are, or how many photo shoots I try to sneak into my spare time. It really might not be enough to prove that I could be a really great person. Let me rephrase UM I AM A REALLY GREAT PERSON. The unfortunate part is that any time I have been in a relationship their true feelings show through that they really would prefer it if I did just about anything besides this and I could keep my clothes on.
As for the making a ho a house wife, well you can't if your girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, ppaarrrtttty alllll the time, she probably will. Let me just state that I know how to have a good time but I don't want to party all the time, in fact I want to party rarely. It also doesn't take a stripper to be a ho. I have seen more woman at bars be completely degrading to themselves acting one million times dirtier than most strippers I know. Why do women do this to themselves they are giving the rest of us bad names. SERIOUSLY LADIES PUMP THE FUCKING BRAKES drink a pint of water or something.
So the question I pose to those of you married to stripper or ex strippers, or dating current or ex strippers. How the hell did you make it work? Or if you don't date one how do you think you would make it work?
There is a saying "You can't make a ho a housewife." I was having drinks with a friend of mine last night and we were lamenting the fact that I'm single. He turns to me from across my dining room table and to say "Bro nobody wants to marry a stripper" mind you I'm not in a relationship and in absolutely no rush to get married. He made a very good point. How exactly do you have a successful relationship with a stripper, let alone myself? I'm a hard lie to keep up, I'm a hard schedule to deal with. I eat at weird times, I sleep a lot. I know that I'm not alone in my schedule. I could be a bartender it could be the same only more socially acceptable and I would still be treated like a stripper by the same number of douche bags.
I also feel that he was right. I was engaged once for about 1 minute no joke it was one minute and I was told that what I did for a living would fuck up his future and how could they take me to any events. EXCUSE ME DUMBASS I'm a chameleon for a living I can talk about anything to anyone I would assume that this would make me more valuable, unfortunely in most cases I'm wrong.
I feel sometimes having had relationships while dancing that a lot of the fantasy that is portrayed in the club is expected to be transferred over to real life. Like, I'm suppose to party all the time, or it's expected that I'm unreliable (mind you sometimes I forget things but I'll be there if you need me), or that I am once again a "stupid stripper", I swear that, the stigma of this job is the hardest thing to shake, at moments it doesn't matter how much I study, or how good my grades are, or how many photo shoots I try to sneak into my spare time. It really might not be enough to prove that I could be a really great person. Let me rephrase UM I AM A REALLY GREAT PERSON. The unfortunate part is that any time I have been in a relationship their true feelings show through that they really would prefer it if I did just about anything besides this and I could keep my clothes on.
As for the making a ho a house wife, well you can't if your girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, ppaarrrtttty alllll the time, she probably will. Let me just state that I know how to have a good time but I don't want to party all the time, in fact I want to party rarely. It also doesn't take a stripper to be a ho. I have seen more woman at bars be completely degrading to themselves acting one million times dirtier than most strippers I know. Why do women do this to themselves they are giving the rest of us bad names. SERIOUSLY LADIES PUMP THE FUCKING BRAKES drink a pint of water or something.
So the question I pose to those of you married to stripper or ex strippers, or dating current or ex strippers. How the hell did you make it work? Or if you don't date one how do you think you would make it work?
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