I suppose I should preface this with I've been extra sensitive lately. I sort of had a large chunk of goo dropped on me by my mother which usually causes a disruption in the force for a few days.
There is a saying "You can't make a ho a housewife." I was having drinks with a friend of mine last night and we were lamenting the fact that I'm single. He turns to me from across my dining room table and to say "Bro nobody wants to marry a stripper" mind you I'm not in a relationship and in absolutely no rush to get married. He made a very good point. How exactly do you have a successful relationship with a stripper, let alone myself? I'm a hard lie to keep up, I'm a hard schedule to deal with. I eat at weird times, I sleep a lot. I know that I'm not alone in my schedule. I could be a bartender it could be the same only more socially acceptable and I would still be treated like a stripper by the same number of douche bags.
I also feel that he was right. I was engaged once for about 1 minute no joke it was one minute and I was told that what I did for a living would fuck up his future and how could they take me to any events. EXCUSE ME DUMBASS I'm a chameleon for a living I can talk about anything to anyone I would assume that this would make me more valuable, unfortunely in most cases I'm wrong.
I feel sometimes having had relationships while dancing that a lot of the fantasy that is portrayed in the club is expected to be transferred over to real life. Like, I'm suppose to party all the time, or it's expected that I'm unreliable (mind you sometimes I forget things but I'll be there if you need me), or that I am once again a "stupid stripper", I swear that, the stigma of this job is the hardest thing to shake, at moments it doesn't matter how much I study, or how good my grades are, or how many photo shoots I try to sneak into my spare time. It really might not be enough to prove that I could be a really great person. Let me rephrase UM I AM A REALLY GREAT PERSON. The unfortunate part is that any time I have been in a relationship their true feelings show through that they really would prefer it if I did just about anything besides this and I could keep my clothes on.
As for the making a ho a house wife, well you can't if your girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, ppaarrrtttty alllll the time, she probably will. Let me just state that I know how to have a good time but I don't want to party all the time, in fact I want to party rarely. It also doesn't take a stripper to be a ho. I have seen more woman at bars be completely degrading to themselves acting one million times dirtier than most strippers I know. Why do women do this to themselves they are giving the rest of us bad names. SERIOUSLY LADIES PUMP THE FUCKING BRAKES drink a pint of water or something.
So the question I pose to those of you married to stripper or ex strippers, or dating current or ex strippers. How the hell did you make it work? Or if you don't date one how do you think you would make it work?
But if someone asked you out on a date, would you think,"he's only asking because I'm a stripper"?
ReplyDeleteI suppose that would all depend under what context I met him. If I met him at the grocery store probably not. If I met him at my favorite watering hole for my work pre-game with a full face of make-up on yes, yes, I would think he was asking me out because I'm a stripper.
DeleteBeing a stripper raises the insecurities of men, causing them to spill over and affect us. Its THEIR insecurities, NOT yours!! Its also rules for one and rules for another. They say "you can't make a ho a housewife?" But what about "be a cook in the kitchen, a hostess in the dining room and a whore in the bedroom to make ur relationship work" double frikkin standards.
ReplyDeletethis is why I hate dating
DeleteMost people are too selfish to be in relationships in the first place. If you're in a relationship for the long run, your priority should be making your s.o. happier, not making yourself happier. And the only way a relationship is really going to work is if both people are on board for that. If stripping is something that gives you joy (and it seems that way to me) it's selfish for someone you're dating to ask you to stop, they clearly only have themselves in mind. Deal breaker.
ReplyDeleteThis just seems weird to me. I don't think the saying" you cant turn a ho into a housewife" applies to this simply because strippers aren't hoes and also dating a stripper wouldn't seem different to me then dating anyone. Probably because some of my friends are strippers. I don't think it would be right to meet a stripper at the strip club then start dating her and ask her later on to stop stripping. That makes no sense to me.
Deletefirst, well said. here's my 2cents from my perspective of a married (for 16 years) 40yr old guy who loves strippers (with his wife)... relationships shouldn't be hard. if you're working at it, it's not going to work. regardless of who you are or what u do to pay your bills. relationships work when the 2 people compliment each other. not when they compromise who they are.
ReplyDeleteso who wants to marry a stripper? the person that understands who you are isn't defined by what you do. - divinepig
I'm really hoping my congratulations is on almost 20 years of marriage that's amazing.
DeleteUnfortunately, alot of people have prejudices about what people do for a living is what defines them. People who arent willing to look past that and see you for who you are a waste of your time. I've known girls who just refuse to continue conversations with me just because Im in the Navy.
ReplyDeleteI've also talked to you before about dating people with shitty work schedules. I've done it. It does suck but the time I spend with them made up for it. Just have to find another person who will be willing to go the same lengths.
This is @shimazusama btw
Necroposting, I know, but Hey! I'm new here!
ReplyDeleteSo I've been trying to date a dancer. I can't deny it is difficult not because she is a dancer, but because she works the nights I'm off, so we only get to see each other once in a blue moon.
I've never known any dancers before a few years ago, so I never really had any preconceived notions about how dancers behave or what they are like outside the club.
Much like my academic life where I've been luck to pretty much always have inspired, and inspiring, teachers, I've been lucky to spend time with some great women who are dancers.
I find her to be completely fabulous for very many of the same reasons you list as what you've learned about yourself and the world from being a dancer.
I don't have a problem with her being a dancer, I have a problem with the way I've seen( and the way you've described ) customers treat dancers. The first night I came to LDs we chit chatted after her stage, and then I had to use the restroom. When I came back she was sitting with some dude (which is cool - she is there to earn a living ) but he had this death grip on her butt and I did not approve! She's told me about the dopes who try to feel her up while she's dancing, and it just about gets my blood boiling!
In the end, I think only getting to see her once a month, if I'm lucky, is doing the relationship in.
Oddly enough, she did suggest once that you and I would be a good couple.
necroposting that's what I'm doing.
Delete