Honest moment

To whom it may concern, Please don't take this the wrong way.
I'm going to miss my home so much. I'm going to miss waking up in the first place that has felt like home in years. I'm going to miss the silence. I'm going to miss the skyline. I'm going to miss the mountains. I'm going to miss knowing that everything here is mine and no one elses I'm going to miss dumping my clothes off in my hallway and picking them up in the morning. I'm going to miss dance parties till 6am with my best friends. I'm going to miss puffs and guac. I'm going to miss my neighborhood. Even though I've lived here for years sometimes it feels like I just got here. I'm going to miss my girls and my club. I'm going to miss the sunrises and sunsets. The hills that I hate running. I'm going to miss my running route I'm going to miss coffee even though I rarely drink it anymore. I'm going to miss my lunch and dinner spots. I'm going to miss knowing all the good places to shop. I'm going to miss being someone to more than one person.
There are totally things I will not miss. Things I hate. Things I never want to see again. There are things in Chicago that I am so looking forward to. It's just scary moving across the country again. I mean I did it when I was 18 but I was young and fearless and it was an adventure. I didn't know what failure was yet. I had no idea how badly things could go or that I would become a fatalist. I mean I'm keeping my place in Seattle just in case I hate Chicago because I"m really not going back to my parents in wisco, I'm coming straight home to Seattle. If nothing terrible happens then great I'll be amazingly surprised in a good way. I mean I'm not hoping my plans fall apart but anything is possible and I really can't fail this time.