Friday, June 24, 2011

How many stripper does it take

to send me into a fit of rage. None really it takes a house mom that looks like jabba the hut and likes to think she is just as important. I'm sorry bitch but you sit in a chair all night. Not that I'm out changing the world (wait yes I am) but don't get it my god damn way. You don't care about me, you just care that you get paid, and your little outfit lady that comes in. SHE IS FUCKING AWESOME! She is at least nice and will talk, god, jabba your a bitch, and I don't want to pay you $15 every night to eat a couple carrot sticks and use your super glue once in a blue fucking moon. why don't you do something for me? I mean shit I have given lapdances for 15 big ones, not that I want one from her but god damn. Anyway enough preface.
I'm sitting in Chicago, the sun is basically up, I'm drinking a glass of wine which I know I shouldn't be doing but holy god it was a rough night. I ended up with so many come back laters I started to think I look deformed or something. I know I don't. It was just that I was trying to be someone else. There was a point in my night where I got to be me. Just me, me red, the bitch you don't want to fuck with. I was sitting with an Englishman and he pointed over to a group of men and said I don't care how drunk I would be or what they do for a living I wouldn't talk to them if I were you. I turned and looked directly at him (he's a behavioral analyst by the way) and said, "well I have talked to them, and do you see the man in the green shirt, he's amazingly nice and extremely funny, as for what they do for a living they move snow and ice so that means that they work outside on the worst days" He looked at me like I was a god damn lunatic. It was also at that point that I said this is why I do my job, I get a different look at life everyday, everyday is different, everyday is an adventure, everyone comes from a different path and just because their path is different than yours does not make them a bad person. Then he bought dances.
I broke my shoe tonight (again) as well it was horrible and embarrassing, and I couldn't walk to get anywhere to even take them off. I don't know when the last time you fell of 8" was but it's not fun. As I super glued my shoe together I realized that I hated every god damn bitch up in that house. I just wanted to go home. I wanted to click my heels together 3 times and be fucking home...so I cried, big bad Red started to tear up and text her BFF and whine that she wanted to come home, that she couldn't cut it in the big city. It was also at this moment that I realized that I don't give a fuck about any bitch up in there. I need to to my own thing. I wiped my tears held my chin up, hoped my shoe would stay together and walked back out on the floor. Where I promptly ran into a group of auditors. One of them, the one I chose to sit with was a huge fucking asshole (of course) he said he was an auditor I said i needed to go, he said that's probably a good idea because they don't play. I sat my ass down on him hard, and said good because I'm not really fucking around either. Which apparently got his attention. We started to do the small talk bullshit. He asked how my night was I said fine. He looked directly at me and said "no seriously how's it going" I said "Really the truth? The truth is I have every god damn woman in here. I hope they all fail, I hope that something terrible happens, I'm tired of being ignored. I'm used to a club where you are a team, where every girl has your god damn back and you know not one bad thing is going to happen to you, but this place, ha, this place is a god damn joke and it sucks so god damn hard, fuck everyone." I started to tear up and all I could think was lapdances are best when the stripper cry's which of course made me laugh and find the courage to ask him for a dance, which I thought was totally going to be a no. I was completely wrong, he was a total sweet heart and bought more than one.
Lesson of the night, always be yourself, be bigger than the sound, fuck what everyone else thinks, this is about me. On that note, tomorrow Red comes back, full effect. Time to hustle.

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