What type of stripper...

This is all a bunch of mumbo jumbo good luck...

The other day I drove out to the east-side to visit two of my fave girls that I haven't seen in a while. I got dressed to go out there we have a running joke about if you have  a bun in your hair or you are wearing sweatpants you obviously give no shits about life and shouldn't be seen outside. It's all in good fun. So when I arrive blonde let me in and I can here from the back bed room OMG is that red, please tell me she didn't dress up. I walk back there and find out that brunette is chillin in pj pants and both of them are watching superbad. I was totally envious that they could chill all day, because I have school and what not and I feel like I'm always running around. So I took a moment to hang out with them and have a few girl laughs.

It really does make me wonder though...What the fuck am I doing right now, sure I do enjoy life to the fullest every day I believe in drinking wine and eating good food, seeing friends when I can, and the place that I live is really important to me. I know that I rent but my home is my stripper sanctuary it's my happy place I go to even in my head when people at work are bugging me.
Also I go to school, and slowly but surely I'm getting through it and I feel good about it, I need to spend more time on it thought but I feel at times like I'm being pulled in too many directions. BLAH BLAH REAL LIFE BULLSHIT

Then there are the strippers who of course have invited me to hang out with them after work every night and I never go because I have to get up in the morning, but it always sounds so fun to go after work and hit up some after hours or have a girls night watching movies and eating junk food.

Now for a drop of drama...The other night I looked in the mirror at work and commented to the girls around that I felt super hot, and one of them got back to me with "Don't be cocky" I know that sounds totally stupid but I'm not cocky, and something about that comment light a mother fucking fire under my ass to be the best fucking person in the building again. I was so fucking pissed that someone would think I'm cocky when literally I could run around being like "I'M THE HOTTEST BITCH IN THIS PLACE SO GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY WAY" BUT...at the same time it really helped me refocus I really needed that reminder that actions speak louder than words, and I should continue to just be me, not get caught up in the gossip, and remember that it's a friendly competition...that I really desire to win...So I know you read my blog, I'm not mad, thank you for the ass kicking I needed that.

I love my life and I love my job, but right now I'm a little like...um...my personal time is a little confusing...So I've decided to go to bed earlier, I find that sleep and water fixes most of what ails me so...goodnight.

doing the right thing and having it going completely wrong...and judgemental assholes

I was reading through some old blog posts about the firstish dates and I missed one a really good one so I thought now would be a good time to bring it up... We were talking about judgmental people tonight in the locker room

I was on my way home from running errands down town one night and stopped by a hotel bar for a snack and a drink, I sat down on the couch at the far end of the bar threw my bags down and my coat. Looked around the room and wondered how many people could tell I wasn't wearing a bra, or if that people assumed a Victoria Secret bag and a Sephora bag = stripper. I don't think so...or if due to the size of my breasts they wondered why the hell I wasn't wearing a bra.

SO I'm sitting minding my own business and this attractive to me at the time came up to me and sat down and started asking really good questions, and was really interesting. Lets fast forward.

We went to brunch had another great time.

We went to a movie the next week, he was so sweet brought me down a coffee...we start walking to the movie in the rain, and I just remember my heart pounding out of my chest, since I knew what  I  to say. We were one block away this dude walked really fast so I stopped him and said "There is something I really need to tell you. I am exactly who I say I am, and I have not lied about that, I just have an addition, and it could be a deal breaker and that's totally fine and I understand if it is that you if you run away right now. I'm a stripper"

The look he gave me gave the whole thing away I had seen that look so many times before, the look of complete disappointment.

However he decided he still wanted to sit through a movie with me, and he appreciated my honesty. At the end of he movie he made up some excuse I don't remember anymore, and gave me a hug, and said I'll hit you up later. I said "No you won't hit me up later, this isn't my first rodeo" He promised he wasn't like that...fast forward about a year.

I could have been so selfish and lied to him for a really long time about why I was busy on the weekends, but no, I didn't, people are so judgmental

How is it that even though I have been doing this for about as long as this blog has existed it still surprises me how judgmental people can be...How is it someone can be in finance during the day, or a lawyer,  producer, doctor etc. But get completely shit faced on the weekends or in the evening and put whatever they can up their noses, but somehow that's totally socially acceptable but being a sober stripper is not.

Or my other favorite when Custy's with the aforementioned jobs who also believe themselves to be good looking and have no reason to be in a strip club are in strip clubs and make fun of other custy's because they don't look like them. One of my favorite people that comes in occasionally is a welder, I think he's great, and he's funny...he wear's carhartts and tee's sometimes, he dresses comfortably. There was one time I was sitting with a doctor who was talking shit about him that he can't be that way of a person due to the way he looks. I got so mad. I turned to him and said, that man has a heart bigger than yours, cares so much about his nieces and nephews, is always polite, unlike you, he isn't a flashy douche who talks about how much money he has but doesn't spend it and has not reason to be in the strip club but yet you are...

The moral of the story as I'm half asleep is do not judge a book by it's cover, or as stripper by her shoes.

Radio interview...and a bunch of bullshit about things I'm considering talking about.

Yup another radio interview tomorrow for I think a small personally owned radio station they want to ask the usual questions. I'm sure the question about relationships is coming up which moves us into strippers and boyfriends. Mind you I know some girls with very healthy relationships, I'll be talking about them soon. HOWEVER I HAVE MAGICALLY CONVINCED GIRLS TO LET ME INTERVIEW THEM ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIPS GET READY INTERNET THIS NEW SEGMENT IS GOING TO BE GOOD.

We all complain about the same things (hence why I don't date)
Things our boyfriends hate collectively.
1) They hate our jobs, but love our money
2) Hate how much or when we work, but don't mind spending our money or getting gifts.
3) If we mention we want something say as a gift from say our boyfriend they tell us to ask a custy, but hate when we go in early.
3a) When they want a gift they ask us to ask our customers

PREVIEW.
1.One girl dates a dude who only wears rick owens and owns enough clothes he could own a house. I understand that I love rick owens and I love clothes...also he buys them. I've met him he's hilarious. They also have a pretty healthy view on dating.
2.Another girl just dates a shitty dude I'll be talking a whole lot about him.
3. Another dates a hippie with a radiology degree who doesn't use it.
4. One girl went on a date with a dude I went on a date with the one who camped on my lawn...man I hope I wrote about that.
5. I'll be dishing dirt on dudes I've dated, and the type of guy I actually like...and maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, I'll dish on dudes I've actually had crushes on...like real ones.

However don't worry I'll still be talking about stripper shit, because no one wants to read about rom-com crap.

Sorry I suppose I'm just a little excited that my writers block is over.

NEW BLOG TOPICS DATING STRIPPERS AND SEX TOYS

So lately I feel like my blog is all blah, blah, blah whoa the fuck is me...So It's time to start about my sex toy adventures and the dating adventurers of other strippers since I'm obviously very busy with my own drawer of toys.

First I want to talk about the Fun Factory's new toy, first off it's a German company, and the object itself is made out of medical grade silicon. Downside this silicon it collects lint better than my ling brush, I need to find a nice little lint free bag for it, so I can keep it lint free. (duh, yay for redundancy) ((ALSO I SUPPOSE IF I END UP HATING IT OR BREAKING IT I WILL HAVE A SUPER EFFECTIVE LINT BRUSH, BECAUSE I"M IN THE MARKET FOR ONE OF THOSE WITH A DOG AND ALL) Anyway the toy is called stronic eins. It means the strong one or something like that. My first impression upon reading the instructions is it's apparently very relaxing, you can read a book, look at your ipad, or drink a cocktail up no less.

So lets talk about function and fun quickly since it's now past my bed time. It has like a billion modes and unlike most consulater it doesn't vibrate. It thrusts HOLY FUCKING, FUCK, FUCK IT THRUST. Not like a sex machine because apparently those things thrust this is how can I compare it...considering I've never used one, but I have looked at quite a few photos. So a sex machine is like watching The game of Thrones, it's scary, detailed, full of surprises, expensive to produce. The Stronic Eins is like watching Sherlock on the bbc it's sexy in a foreign sexy way, and a smart sexy way and an over thinking lots of options, but the ending is always good...and sexy kind of way. A few other puny Sherlock tips to maximize your enjoyment the object itself is a bit dry so I recommend ( and so does the fun factory) a generous amount of lube. Ok I'm out of Sherlock jokes I'm officially tired and need to wrap this up.

For those of you that have talked to me about sex todays before you know damn well I know my shit, and there are a few that I absolutely love. You may find that I seem pretentious in my choice of toys but that's not true I just like nice things...Stronic Eins is gonna run you about $200 dollars, which is less than say...shoes, a dress, getting your nails done touching up your roots, making a Sephora run, only to go out on a shitty date, with a shitty dude, who doesn't even offer to pay, won't open doors for you, and never compliments all the aforementioned nice things you did to look good (Someone please remind me why dating is good again?)

That being said the Stonic Eins is a new favorite, the thrusting is pretty fucking amazing (get it, fucking amazing) I crack myself up at 4am. However it is not the fave that's going to take a while to write.

Alright kids, be good, be reckless, have fun, but don't do anything to hurt a strippers feelings.