Karma is a bitch and god damn I'm beautiful

This started as a text to a friend in a different country so it's going to get jumbled for those of you critics out there and don't worry I see you. 

Today at the grocery store... I saw the woman who brought a tornado a literal god damn devestating someone call some sort of government aid service tornado into my life a dope addict, an irresponsible mother someone who cares about no one other than herself.  She Who with the help of her then partner also a dope head (What can I say I have a soft spot and think I can save people...I can't) stole with around 100k of things like electronics and designer clothing, jewelry, money, whatever she could get her heroine covered hands on. Slowly piece by piece, while I was gone on business trying to change my life around (not realizing my boss was trying to seduce me, you think there is some good in people and there really isn't at times, and you just have to go with that, at the same time there is, there are people like false portal and dc, and j, who just want to see me suceed). Ruined my life, almost literally. I was lucky enough to walk to the edge of the cliff peer over and decide not to dive into the abyss and see if there was a bottom, the cliff was bottom enough.  She was a hooker, had tricks over to my house while I was gone and had sex with them in my bed, never telling me, and never paying rent on time, why because she was a cheap ass hooker...So for a good cheap time call...8675309....jenny I got your number...I would never give out her number like that as much as I love watching chaos I of course want her to be a better mother to her son. OH lest we forget she scratched bitch into my hallway wall on her way out. Because living rent free and stealing my stuff for money and drugs makes me a huge bitch when I kick you out when I find a knife in my bed. I digresss

I walked up to her and told her...nay chased that bitch down was getting ready to swing with whatever I had near me which happened to be a case of wine, thinking do I want to go to jail for attempted murder tonight. IS this how I spend my valentines day. I mean my hair and make-up look amazing this mug shot should look better than lindsey lohans...Anyway I walked up and told her I should beat the shit out of her. She said for what. I said for all the horrid things you did to me. She called me crazy. I thought about hitting her with a wine bottle because it was close and easy to swing like I said before, could have smashed her jaw into fragments right then and there. I decided I didn't want to go to jail and it wouldn't be worth it. She would get off I would get punished there would be no true justice so what on earth would be the point.... I said no, I want to beat the shit out of you for not seeing your son in 3-4 years. She again called me crazy. I screamed not as crazy as you bitch...call your parents tell them you aren't dead. Walked back up the steps bought my whiskey shaking so much I almost forgot to pay the clerk.

I think everything happens for a reason. I did my hair last week so it looks fresh as fuck. I insisted on doing my makeup before before I went to get tomatoes and whiskey (whooooooo Valentine's Day). I said a prayer for protection before I left the house. I was also going through my clutch and realized I didn't have my knife, strange for me, I always have it nowadays, decided I didn't need it.  I stopped by work for a moment to say hi, and find out they broke a water main, but dammit we are still open, we are more reliable than the postal service. I was suppose to make another stop and didn't. I was suppose to get the queen of hearts tattooed on my finger and didn't, I just went to the grocery store on a dark and oddly rainy, not misty, not drizzly, but rainy seattle night. 

My last couple of years if you have been keeping up have been the worst, apartment fire, lose of my dog (which I could cry about everyday if I was allowed to, literally everyday and I would sleep on the floor where her bed was just to smell her if it didn't make me crazy) two dopeheads I tried to help, end up  stealing my life from me. Or what little life I had after the fire with no remorse, just stories of how unfair their life had been how their mothers had gotten rid of their clothes once so they know how hard it is to lose a collection like that but yet pilfered though it. used everything of mine when I wasn't around. 

Somehow I made the right split second choice did not harm anyone physically but said just enough with my words for her to know everything she did to hurt me and her family, and went about my life. I told her to call her mom and let her know that she wasn't dead. 

So she knows I exist, and next time I won't be nearly as nice, next time words will be had, screaming will start, and she can throw the 1st punch, because everything after that is self defense, and yes bitch, I am crazy, crazy enough to let you live with me crazy enough to let you steal from me, crazy enough to wait till next time, to wait for you to slip up because I know your situation and I know you can't help yourself, so I wish you the best, but night falls on us all and for some of us its a warm blanket and a space to move freely about it, and for others it's hard to see what's coming next.

Fate is a funny, funny, funny, thing. I could have been doing a million other things tonight but somehow fate put her back in my path, made me grow, made me realize that like philly, whom if I beat the shit out of gets plastic surgery which she loves and I get charged so she can stay ugly. That she will always be an addict and a liar, and I hope she gets help, but I've moved past caring about her and what her life is, she looked a mess, she smelled, probably of an untreated std. I hope she finds light in the world. I hope she finds a way. Tonight made me realize shes not worth my time, or my energy or my thoughts, and that my heels will always be higher and I will always be closer to the heavens. Truly I rarely pray, and to pray for protection is strange and I didn't know what I needed protection from but apparently my past. 

Thats what it is the fucking past so again...moving on, making money, and being the baddest bitch up in this bitch.