me and me, lets talk about all the good things and the bad things that I see.
I want so badly to ace my finals. I need to just study all day tomorrow.
I'm sick and fucking tired of my no longer good friend being out of her fucking mind. You are not fun. Please go back on your meds and quit with the prostitution. I also understand that abuse plays a large role in her life, but I would like her to seek help for it, not spout it off to customers.
NO dear stirriper with a locker close to mine I do not want to go to you drug dealers version of a tupperware party. Thanks for the invite.
I just want to go on vacation.
I want a smoothie.
I want to sleep.
I want to find the fucktard that hit me the other weekend and play a little game of hard candy.
I want another friend of mine to realize that if she keeps complaining she's going to loose all her friends. Sweetie you make your own life, if you don't like it, change it.
I want a better education, a better job, and the same life I have now.
I am literally terrified some days to go back to the "normal" world. Sometimes I don't think I fit in. I know I will find a way to fit in, just as all of my friends have but it's still scary.
I want jeans that fit.
I want a little bit of time for me. I want to not have to care about 100 other people and wether or not I'm going to hurt their feelings. I want to talk about me sometimes in an un-edited fashion. The thing about that is. I never will.
I want my oldest younger sister to become an engineer. I want my youngest sister to quit being the baby and realize she's a teen and that being a teen is rarely as it is depicted on the disney channel. I want to take them both on vacation.
I DESPERATELY WANT MY STUFFY NOSE TO UNSTUFF SO I CAN GO RUNNING I FEAR I MAY BE DIEING.
I want to know why I am so much more intriguing inside of work, or more beautiful, or anything really. I want to know why people like me better there. I am pretty aware that being in my underware has something to do with it.
I want to stop writing and go to bed so I can get up and study, so I can take my final, so I can go to work, so I can leave on monday for vacation.
On that note...Good night moon.
Red, you might not fit in...that is true. I'd say it is a definite possibility. 'Fitting in' in this world has been less and less attractive to me as time goes on. When you decide to fit in, you decide to put yourself in the same class as those without ambition, without motivation, with those who are half-asleep, at best. You are more than that, and you know it.
ReplyDeleteKick ass on the final.
Help your sisters.
Hug your puppy.
Don't worry about hurting feelings because you need time for yourself--those who matter will understand. If they don't, eff-'em.
dld
You sound like you are very strong person. Stronger than you realize. I mean, just going what you do and with such grace, is a demonstration of that strength. Keep on.
ReplyDelete"I want to know why I am so much more intriguing inside of work" - I feel you. But, then again, that is the job, being unattainably fascinating. Pedestrian life is so much easier. Less money, but men - sigh. So easy.
ReplyDelete