Recently this comment landed in my inbox. I get a fair amount of mail, wether it be wives asking advice about there husbands, or just general banter. This one, something about this one got me...
"I have to admit I have been reading your blog now since October of last year (long story of how I got here, not important at the moment), and I have to say I am constantly captivated by what you write. That is, the blogs like this one where you seem focused and have a point to the story. The short blurbs about hating your manager are more entertaining than captivating but I digress.
The reason why I am commenting now is that lately I find you really need something positive in your life to happen. Something to show that everything you're doing with your life is not all wasted on idiot people who don't give you the love and respect you deserve. Whether or not you take away a positive from this, do know that you have positively affected my life in small but powerful ways. Everyone has real life "grown up" problems, but you deal with some very heavy shit. No matter how bad it gets though you not only pick yourself up but you continue to try and pick up the other people who have faltered as well. It is inspiring to know that there are still truly good people out there trying to make the world a little bit better.
To wrap up, thanks for giving me a little inspiration to keep on fighting not only for myself but for the ones I care about"
I should preface with I'm not upset in any way shape of form by this comment, I just want to write about it.
You are correct sir. I have been a little negative lately. Everyone has their own battle to fight, and everyone is fighting that battle everyday. My battle is not really very horrible at all. Sure, I've lost, lovers, and friends, we all have, and for various reasons. Life doesn't really give up more than we can handle, or it shouldn't anyway, we all find a way to make it though somehow.
An old boyfriend of mine once said that he appreciated my job, since I pulled really positive things from it. Like ...how people work in interpersonal relationships. Specifically a friend of his who didn't know me came and and ended up getting a dance from me. He told me how he had just broken up with his girlfriend, and he was pretty upset about it. Having my own experiences with relationships it didn't occur to me that men could really be that upset about losing a girlfriend. There are two sides to every story, and at that moment I had only seen things from my side, which was this side of a breakup. It was incredible that a man could love a woman so much and still let her go. It gives/gave me so much hope that someday someone will love me enough to cry on a strippers shoulder about my leaving.
I suppose I see it really frequently in my line of work. Men who absolutely adore their wives, who will talk endlessly about them if given the chance, and maybe that's just it they would like to tell a women (that isn't their wife) they find beautiful and intelligent, who seems slightly unattainable, that they had obtained someone like her, and convinced her to marry him. Most feel their wife is incredible, and not only is she the bees knees, she did something amazing and agreed to have his children. WHOA! It's probably one of my favorite realizations of this job, that men are not all bad, and some of them love unconditionally.
I will remember when I leave this job and move back into a corporate environment, that there is zero reason for a team not to work. Hell I'll remember it next quarter. If 50 women who are all competing to make the most money, based on their looks, their ability to hold a conversation, and a few other totally menial things, can get along without killing one another, and even form incredibly solid friendships, any team can work together. I'm quite sure no other team operates at we do. I'm amazed everyday by the sort of dysfunctional family love that occurs in the strip club.
I have seen the wall of racial barriers fall in a strip club. People from all different backgrounds come together every night and have a great time. Girls defend one another. I always feel like there is someone to catch me if I'm going to fall off my heels there. I would say I'm incredibly lucky to have the experiences I have most of the time.
I mean mind you it's not sunshine and champagne everyday. Right now there are a bunch of girls who annoy the shit out of me, but that's life, it doesn't keep us from having out lockers right next to each other, or doing double dances, or holding a simple conversation.
He was right, I have found some of the greatest things about people in my little basement of a strip club. I still say that even now, if given the choice knowing that I would go though everything that I've gone though, if I was given a second chance at this, if I would go though with it. HELL FUCKING YES I WOULD. I would do the whole damn thing over again.
Truth be told I have a great life. I am privileged enough to be able to continue to go to school. I have a couple really good friends. I have a gorgeous baby dog, that cracks me up everyday. An apartment I'm comfortable in and that I love. A family I love and care about. Everyday is good in some way.
I really means a ton to me that you find inspiration in my blog.
Nice job, Red. It makes me happy to know that you have a good life. You've worked hard for what you have and anybody should be proud to call you 'friend'.
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Red,
ReplyDeleteWell I really was not trying to get to you with my comment. I am very happy to read of all the wonderful things you have in life, by no means was I trying to imply you should change your life in anyway, just felt like you needed a little bit of a positive ego kick ;).
Sadly I have only had the pleasure of meeting you once, but you definitely made an impression. The club is a stop of mine every time I come into town (football season) to see a now friend who works there as well. It was very interesting to read your perspective on some of the men who come into the club as it really is too bad people look down on the whole experience. Yes there are the assholes and jerks who deserve to get beat by the bouncers but there is a good chunk of us who just want to have someone to talk to and make us feel appreciated. That feeling when you walk into a club and one of the girls not only remembers you, but lights up because she is excited to see you, is an indescribable feeling.
Sorry for another rant there, thank you for the continued inspiration.
Crazy Canadian