Tonight I apologized for taking money from someone, that I know and like...strange because I was at work, it's my job, which they pointed out. I said I felt like an asshole, they told me not to because it's my job and they get it... but somehow the circumstances as of late and a few emails I have had land in my inbox, made me apologize....which was dumb it's my job to accept money, if you offer it I'm probably going to accept it in no way do I look down on anyone, and I'm always really grateful for the gesture more than I let on at times.
It's funny how as a stripper that becomes my response is to apologize...sometimes I take this whole thing a little too seriously...Like right now I'm at a crux someone asked what I spent this last weekend so they can reimburse me for my trouble but it's not really about the money it was about the effort, and although it would be nice to have that money back at the same time it's the principle so I kind of don't want it back... Or I could be the person that I think that they think I am which may not be the person they think I am at all. I may have mis-read the whole thing, so much gets lost in tone. I know this has to be a common problem amongst strippers walking the line. Anyway the person that I think that they think that I am that I may be wrong about is just like every other stripper, I'm greedy, money driven, I don't care about other peoples feelings and or respect their time. It's true I'm always late...to a fault, and I try to accommodate in the mean time.
So...do I say screw it and throw my inner argument about what is right and what is wrong to the wind and say thank you for considering the monetary trouble I went to...or do I say screw it, and get to work at a decent time tomorrow and the following day to make-up for my loses and tell them that I don't really care that much about the money, I'm more upset that they think I just don't give a flying, or walking, or waddling, swimming, inching, running man, roger rabbiting, sort of fuck.
Also like the cheese owed me money, and swore he was good for it...I think I'm to a point were I would rather just let money go if it means less stress, I'm a stripper, I can always make more...Also karma, not that you can buy karma but it's been a hella of a year, and maybe I shouldn't rattle the cage anymore.
That being said from this moment on, I am not feeling bad about accepting money, if you offer it im accepting please don't project your feelings about it on to me, I mean I'll be the bad guy all day long that's fine that's part of my job. EXECUTIVE DESISCIONS MADE ALL DAY LONG OVER HERE.
Also how do you tell a fellow stripper to stop exchanging counterfeit bills with everyone that it's tacky. Also that no one is buying your sweet and innocent bit, I've heard you on the phone in the bathroom and you aren't that nice so stop apologizing for everything...except exchanging money apologize for that, apparently a few girls haven't been able to deposit monies into their bank and that's not chill. I guess I say it just like that.
I've been reading your blog for awhile now and find it a good read. I've come back to this specific post a couple times and really think it not about the money, byt it is more about how and when it is accepted . You see, it really does not matter who or what they think you are. The bottom line is that your job is about getting $ from people and with that you have all the stereotypes that go with what you do. If you do not want to fall into the stereotypes bucket you should never say "screw it and throw my inner argument about what is right and what is wrong to the wind". The two situations you mention are they the same or different?
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