Let me just clarify I don't mean bitch in a duragatory manner.
There is a dialouge I have with a girl that I work with about once a week it goes a little something like this.
If I were a dude, I would make you my bitch, there is no way I would ever let you go. I mean look at you, you are gorgeous, seriously, those men that have let you walk away are idiots. You are amazing you study, you work, you're independent, shit I hope my son meets a woman like you. I mean really I'm not going to let him be with anyone less. Shit for real I would never let you out of the house. I would make sure you had whatever.
This brings me to my actual point. There are a lot of women that I work with that have a crazy ass schedule and seem to live mostly normal lives "what the fuck is normal"
I went out last night, I know crazy, to a party, a house party, with 30 somethings, not joking, most of them women, that worked in the corporate world. I felt so fortunate to not be scared to talk to strangers, if I had been I would have been dead in the water. I'm standing around with a death grip on my plastic cup of champagne observing everyone, checking out the outfits. As soon as I started looking at what everyone was wearing I started to get self consious, I went with the typical uniform. I wore something from allsaints, and my black boots that have seen better days at this point. Everyone had on their party clothes bright colors everything fitted, and I'm standing their wearing grey and oversized. Most of them full faces of make-up hair done, and me standing there with a quick smear of eyeshadow on and my hair down, then up, then down, then up, and never really done. Lest we forget the entire underneath is fucking purple, Le sigh, thankfully I'm a student so it's okay for me to look like an idiot sometimes. I'm watching them interact and it's so interesting to watch people drink so much so quickly. Strippers do that too, we just typically don't hold up our drinks for photos. The girls that drink are typically trying to convice others that they are sober, so photos wouldn't support that sober image... Then the inevitable happened people started paying attention to me it was like in my head "I need to blend in" I drank an apple pie shot, put my chicago party hands up, tryed not to feel out of place. Truth is I did, for no specific reason, other than I didn't plan what to wear correctly.
I woke up this morning...In my clothes from last night, sans boots, somehow I still had my socks on. I walked into my living room after putting on approriate house clothes, of running shorts and an old oversized grey sweatshirt (I'm too sexy for this party) to find fellow party goers asleep on my couches and my pole up...sideways (Thankfully no one decided to use that) It was right then I thought. Regardless of the fact that I sometimes don't fit in, and it would have been exactly the same years ago when I came from a corporate place, it was the cool kids of corporate, I still come from a different world. I'm still pretty cool, I can get down with the rest of them even if I'm not "normal". Maybe I will never be normal, even when I'm done with all of this, I don't think "normal" is my thing.
Someday I will have some who rides with me, someone who feels the same way as my co-worker. I also really hope they say stupid shit like that so I can just laugh at them.
Don't get me wrong I still love my job more than a lot of things, and I wouldn't give it up even for the right guy, because the right guy would never ask me to give up something I love.
This post was incredibly long and pointless sorry folks just needed to go over last night out loud.
No comments:
Post a Comment