Stab

Everyone makes mistakes. Sometimes you make them on purpose, so you may learn a lesson on your own. Sometimes you drink peach schnapps in high school because all your friends do it. Sometimes mistakes follow you around for a while and you wonder why exactly they do, if you did something to deserve it.
Really when I look around and I look back and I think about mistakes I've made throughout my life and when they follow me around for a little while I no longer think its because I did something horrible and deserve to be punished for it. With age comes wisdom. At this age it's become a little clearer that it's not that people are jealous, everyone is successful in their own way so they have no reason to be envious of anyone. It's a little more of the misery loves company. Sisters tell me, if one girl in the club is crabby it spreads like the swine flu. Most of the time it's not intentional we are women we talk about whatever is on our mind.
Then there are other times when mean is just spread, it's like a low smoke on the ground that wraps its way around your ankles and works it's way up your legs and you unfortunely breath it in this horrible toxic smoke from a small fire someone decided to start. In my younger years this smoke would suffocate me force me out of this, it would really hurt my feelings. Now...I carry a lot of water and do my best to put fires out.
Recently I inadvertently hurt someone's feelings. I'm not sure who yet I just know I did. I would like to apologize for whatever I did to hurt them. I probably didn't mean too.

Oh and a note on my running. I run because I enjoy it, because it gives me a moment to put my thoughts in order. Are there benefits of running, of course, I have massive lung capacity, am I losing weight? I don't know, I don't own a scale, much like I don't own a tv. I just base it on how I feel and right now I feel really good, about all the things I have accomplished even if I have come to this point of acceptance in an unconventional way.

Please excuse all my silly reflections it happens every year.